


Broken Wires

by ErinBocca, yakisoba13



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kidnapping, Loki is an android, M/M, Mentions of Attempted Suicide, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Public Sex, Rehabilitation, Self-Harm, Survivor Guilt, Thor has PTSD, they live in hawaii yay, veteran Thor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-07-02 04:06:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 54,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15788643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinBocca/pseuds/ErinBocca, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yakisoba13/pseuds/yakisoba13
Summary: Thor is struggling to rehabilitate after a disastrous accident during his time serving in the military.His close friends, Tony and Bruce, have developed a cutting edge android to help their friend heal in mind, body, and heart. A program known as-Launch Operating Kindred Intelligence.OrL.O.K.I





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted android Loki, so here he is. Erin and I actually finished this story quite a while ago (YEET), so we're just now getting around to posting it. Hope you enjoy ♥

"God FUCKING DAMNIT!" Thor yelled as he crashed back to the ground. It was the third time, but he had refused to listen to Dr. Banner and taken it easy. He couldn't.    
  
Having to relearn how to walk was excruciating. Even with the dramatic advances in medicine, there was only so much metal would replace.    
The doctor helped Thor back up, but instead of standing back with the rails, he had the large blond sit.    
  
"Thor you can't push yourself too hard. If you go too far, you'll just prolong the healing process." Thor only growled in response, wiping the sweat from his brow.    
  
But Bruce was rather used to Thor's bouts of rage by now. It came with the territory of reconstructing soldiers, and after what Thor and his squad had gone through..    
  
"I'm so fucking sick of this," Thor rumbled, taking the offered bottle of water from Bruce. "I'm sick of these damn hospital walls, I'm sick of this stupid routine, I'm just..."   
  
"I know.. your body is still adjusting to the implants, but you're doing really well so far." Thor glanced up at him when he said that, mumbling under his breath as he drank.   
  
The doctor just shook his head. Then, seemed to mull something over in his mind.   
  
"Thor.." He began, crossing his arms. "Have you heard of ART?" Thor raised an eyebrow and Bruce clarified. "Android Rehabilitation Therapy." Thor shook his head and the doctor leaned against the railing.   
  
"Its extremely experimental. But, I think it could help you heal faster. I mean, that's the goal. It's sort of like,," he scratched the back of his neck laughing a little. "Wow, I guess we need to work on a pitch for it." But he looked back up to Thor.    
  
"Basically, we have created an android to help care for you. Physical training, mobility, administering medication, even meaningful social interaction."    
  
"Social interaction? I get enough of that all here." Thor grumbled and finished his water.    
  
But Banner sighed, pushing off the railing and crouched down so that they were eyelevel.   
"Listen Thor. Your injuries are more than just physical. You need someone there with you in case.." He trailed off. Neither of them needed him to finish his sentence to know.    
  
Thor looked down at the empty water bottle.   
"It was one time, Bruce."   
"One time's all it takes. I'm not losing my friend of ten years to survivor's guilt." Bruce put his hand on Thor's shoulder.    
  
"Come on..,please? At least give it a shot? It'll also be extremely helpful to me as a test, if you need another reason to give it a go." Bruce offered a wry smile.    
  
Thor fidgeted with the bottle. He could go home. He hated the fact that he still needed help, and he wasn't stupid enough to think he could go without it.    
An android?.. There had been robots out for a while, but none of them quite as advanced as Bruce was insinuating.    
A small part of him admitted his interest was piqued.    
  
Besides.... if the thing don't work out, there was always an off switch.   
  
After a long moment of quiet, Thor nodded.    
  
"Alright.... I'll try it.."   
  
\---   
  
"Alright.. how does that feel?" Tony put down the tiny soldering iron after sanding down and reattaching a microwire on the inside of his android's wrist. It had been catching somewhat, and Tony had been rather pleased when his creation had mentioned feeling it.    
  
The android flexed its wrist, bringing up its arm and observing it. 

 

“Better. Smooth.” Answered the android, and it turned and smiled at Tony. “Thank you.”

 

It watched as Tony sealed its blue skin, locking the panel back into place and tapping it once, which spurred a blue light that let both of them know the panel was secure. Tony stood and placed the soldering iron in a safe spot and looked at the android, which was sitting perfectly still. 

 

“Let’s start implementing that breathing protocol.” Tony suggested, and instantly the android drew in air, expanding its chest cavity slightly, then pushed it out through its nose. 

 

“When will I get to meet Thor?” Asked the android, cocking its head in a smooth movement that betrayed none of it’s mechanical insides. 

 

Tony grinned in satisfaction at the tiny nuances that gave his android a cutting edge of life.    
  
"Soon." Tony glanced at his watch, which also served as his phone and checked his texts from Bruce. They were coming down already.    
Tony needed to have a name.. and he scanned through his holographic notes, flipping through them, humming in thought.   
  
The android was brand new, built in Tony's workshop.. so it was the first launching test for it's kind.   
  
Launch Operating Kindred Intelligence.    
Or   
L.O.K.I   
  
Tony smiled to himself at the name and let his notes disappear.    
"Input information, core code. Name file as LOKI. Identification sex: male. Response to name and masculine pronouns."   
  
Tony could see the android logging the information into the supercomputer chip installed into Loki's head.   
"Okay Loki, I'd like you to stand up and walk three paces." He watched as the blue man did as he was commanded.    
  
"Fantastic!" Tony nearly jumped for joy when the buzzer rang, signifying that Bruce and Thor were here.    
"You Get to meet Thor sooner than I thought. Go ahead and sit back down until I'm back." Tony didn't even need to look over his shoulder to make sure Loki did as he was told.    
  
  
"Hey guys!" Tony said loudly as he burst the doors open, nearly knocking the blond off his cane. "Whoops, sorry man." Tony grinned up at his old friend who just gave him a glare.   
Tony just laughed and held the door open for him, and the engineer exchanged a look with the doctor before following him back again.    
  
"I'm so glad you agreed, Thor. I've been working on this guy for a really long time." They walked slowly so the large man could keep pace, but he shook his head with an off smile.    
  
"You would have found a use for it even I said no." He chuckled, and Tony shrugged.    
  
"Probably. Maybe. I dunno, he is pretty special."   
  
Tony opened the large glass doors to his workshop where Loki sat motionless on the chair, the breathing command still thankfully in effect.    
  
"Thor.. I'd like you to meet Loki. Loki, this is Thor." 

 

Loki smiled at Thor, and stood, walking over. 

 

“Hello, Thor.” Loki said, holding out a hand to shake the man’s. “I’m Loki. I’m very pleased to meet you.” 

 

All of his sensors were on alert. As they shook hands, the android took the man’s temperature and gauged his heart beat, SPO2, and stress levels. Thor was  _ very _ stressed at the moment. He took a step back and discreetly scanned him, noting his color as well as how he heavily leaned on the cane. All of this was stored as notes and in his memory bank, which popped up on Tony’s computer with a ‘ding’ noise.

 

“Ah! Good job, Loki.” Tony said, running over to his computer to look at them. “Wow, Thor- you need to calm down. Loki has done a preliminary scan, and your stress levels are through the roof.”

 

Loki looked back to Thor and tried to placate the tense man with a smile.

 

“Tony only received the initial notes as a test to see if the link worked. From now on, all the information I gather will be kept private, unless if you authorize another person to view it.” He said, his tone soft and gentle. That seemed to ease the man’s scrutiny at having been scanned so quickly. “I’m very excited to begin working with you and setting you on the path towards rehabilitated life, Thor.”

 

"Uh..yeah...thanks." Thor was caught off guard by how naturally the android spoke, and how fluid it's movements were when it did.   
He looked the android up and down. He had to admit he was extremely impressed by his friends' work. The android was- flawless. At least from first glance.    
  
"You guys really outdid yourselves. Aside from the blue, he could pass as a person." Thor leaned against one of the work counters as he looked back to Tony, gesturing to Loki.    
"Also...blue?"   
  
Tony waved him off. "The synthetic material is normally blue, and since he's the first model there's no real reason to change the formula."   
  
"Besides," Bruce chimed in. "Blue is a psychologically calming color. You're not off put by it are you?"   
  
Thor looked back to Loki, then shook his head.    
"No.. I kind of like it."   
  
"Oh good." Tony said, though not really having been worried about Thor's answer. "Okay, so, I've logged Loki's protocols, you can review your own medical history if you ask him nicely, and he can give you a generic report on your overall health."    
  
Tony finished what he was doing at the computer and came back over to the others.    
"Also, it'll be good to note, don't treat my son like regular robots Ok? He has feelings." Tony put an arm around Loki's shoulder as the engineer feigned the parental look.   
  
"Your son?" Banner laughed, saying exactly what Thor was thinking.   
  
"Oh right sorry, /our/ son." Tony overdramatically corrected himself.

 

Loki wrapped his arm around Tony’s waist and half-hugged him. 

 

“Should I...?” He trailed off. 

 

“Oh, yes. Go on.” Tony said, and Loki smiled at Thor before he turned and left. “The boy is getting his things.” 

 

They watched as he left, and then tony turned back to Thor and made a face with a thumbs up. 

 

“So, what do you think? Honestly-” Tony asked.

 

Thor shook his head with a slight laugh at his friend's high energy.    
  
"I'm amazed you to are letting me rest drive your experiment."   
  
"It's more than just an experiment," Bruce said as he stood next to Tony. "He's the best quality care in the world right now, and he is-"   
  
"Strange." Thor said. But the look his friends gave him made him reiterate what he meant. "I'm not saying it's bad. I just... He looks and sounds so real." Thor wasn't put off by machinery, but it was hard to place Loki into that category.    
"Are you sure about this? He seems a lot more advanced than what I need."   
  
Bruce sighed and reached over to Tony's notes, pulling up the holograms.   
"Lets list your injuries shall we? Vertebrae T-12 to L5 shattered and replaced with bionics. Sacrum, coccyx, and pelvis shattered, and replaced with more metal. Femurs cracked in five spots, held by pins. Both knees replaced, and somehow only a sprained ankle."    
  
Banner looked back to Thor who was not looking at them. "And that's just physical crap, remember? Most of it, anyway. So no, neither of us think Loki is more advanced for your needs, Thor."

 

When Loki returned with his items, all packed neatly in a small suitcase, he could sense Thor's mood hadn't improved- in fact it had worsened. Tony and Bruce were looking at him sympathetically and the big blond man was seemingly... ashamed. 

 

“What did you two do to my patient?” Loki asked, chiding them. “This is all supposed to make him feel better.” 

 

Tony looked at him and shrugged, then Loki looked to Bruce, expecting an answer, but the doctor sighed first. 

 

“He thinks you're too advanced for his case, Loki. I went over his physical injuries with him...” Said Banner. Loki let out a small huff, and Tony quirked a smile- it was all so realistic. 

 

The android walked over and sat against the counter with the silent man. 

 

“Do you not want me?” Loki asked softly. If Thor didn't want him now, he could wait, but he wanted to make a point. “Because I want you. I want you to get better more than anyone else here, maybe even more than yourself. You deserve to heal, Thor.” 

 

Even though the words came from an android, they still hit deeper than he wanted them to. He hesitantly looked up at Loki, his jaw clenching and unclenching. The look of concern on his face was so realistic..    
  
"Thor..," Banner spoke avain when Thor had remained silent. "You know he would have wanted-"   
  
"Dont." Thor's piercing gaze shot to Bruce's, a flair of anger making him tighten his grip on the cane.

 

Loki put his hand on Thor’s, very gently. 

 

“Let me help you, Thor.” Loki said in a hushed voice. “Let's go home, and try this for a week. If you think I am not helping after a week's time, I know Bruce and Tony will find another way to help you. They love you very much, Thor. So much so that those feelings have been programmed into me. I love you as well.” 

 

The tension wasn't easing for a bit, so Loki sat closer and slid an arm around his waist, pulling him close. 

 

“Thor...” The android leaned forward and put his face against the side of Thor’s. “It's alright... It’s okay.” 

 

Thor's eyes clenched shut, trying to swallow the sudden rise of emotion.   
He hadn't let anyone get close to him since that day, and he didn't want to admit that the contact was soothing. Loki was warm, and the blond could feel its breath in a slow and steady rhythm.   
  
Tony and Bruce were stone still, holding their breaths watching their friend uncertain of how he would react. Bruce was preparing to calm Thor and Tony was sure his creation was going to go flying.   
  
But neither thing happened as Thor took a long shuddered breath, seeming to recollect himself. Shaking off the feelings that had come, Thor pulled away from the android though didn't move his hand from under Loki's.   
  
"Okay..." Thor said softly, looking from Loki to his friend.   
  
\---   
  
Thor can't help the feeling of overwhelming relief when they pulled up to his home. The autotaxi shut off and unlocked the doors, and Loki was out first to help Thor from the vehicle.    
  
The large blond had at first refused using anything but the cane as support, until he nearly fell at the few stairs that lead to the front door. He caught the thin railing, and Loki caught him, ignoring the long string of curses that followed.    
  
They made it inside after a few minutes, and despite labored breathing and a thin sheen of sweat, Thor couldn't be happier than to finally be back in his familiar space. It was exactly the same as he'd left it before he had been deployed.    
  
It was not too small, but it was spacious, and the large windows on the far wall let the sunlight filter into the main room.

 

Loki helped Thor to sit, and then looked around. 

 

“I like it here.” He said, smiling at Thor. The man was still sweating and his breathing was labored, so Loki found his way to the sink and returned with a cool glass of water. He pulled down his sleeve and began to gently pat the sweat away. 

 

“Thor, I know this situation doesn’t... Have cut and clear lines.” He started, looking at him. “But in this case, while I do defer to you, you are technically my patient. Let me help you, alright? We are going to take things slow.” 

 

The android scanned over his body again and noted the man was cooling down with the glass of water, and relaxing under the gentle pats. 

 

“You rest. I’m going to clean.” Loki said. “Would you like to be here on the couch, or would you like to be in bed?” 

 

Thor glanced over at the couch, then towards the hall that led towards the bedrooms.   
  
"If I go to the room, I can at least unpack." Thor said as he looked back to Loki's green gaze. "And you don't have to clean,. There's been no one here for over a year." Thor stated, because to the ex-soldier the house was spotless.

 

“It’s dusty.” Loki stated simply as helped Thor stand up, sliding an arm around his waist. “I also need to rearrange the furniture to be more accessible.” 

 

He helped Thor to the bedroom, sitting him down on the bed. 

 

“Please do not overexert yourself. I understand it isn’t fun to have to rely on anyone else after you’ve been so independent for so long, but if we are to avoid reversing all of the amazing progress you’ve made, you will take things slow.” Loki instructed, retrieving the bag of Thor’s minimal personal belongings he had had with him in the rehab center. 

“Call me if you need me.” The android requested, and then he left Thor to his own devices. Assessing what needed to be done first, Loki went into the kitchen and began to wash all of the dishes, noting there was two of everything. As he cleaned the dishes, he logged onto the wifi, downloading as much information as he could. It was an automatic protocol Tony had installed to help Loki with his ever evolving AI. 

 

He finished washing the dishes, spreading them out on clean cloths, and then he moved to sweep and vacuum. As he did so, he noticed a picture on the wall and paused, taking a moment to look at it. It was a much healthier, tanner, happier Thor with his arm wrapped a smaller, but equally happy and blond man. They were mid laugh. He smiled- it was a nice picture. 

 

The android resumed his cleaning, pausing again after half an hour to go check on Thor.

 

“Are you hungry?” He asked, sitting down next to him on the bed, placing his hand on the man’s forearm, assessing his condition yet again. 

 

Thor shook his head no. His appetite hadn't recovered as well as his bones, so he was content with the water he had been given earlier.   
"Are you?" Thor had missed cooking, having become tired of the food cooked in vats or the MRE's. But the veteran stopped, remembering Loki wasn't human. "You don't eat.." He stated to no one in particular. "Sorry, I guess it's a habit to ask." Thor gave a wry smile and took the now empty satchel and hung it on the bedpost.

 

“Well, I  _ can _ eat.” Loki replied, smiling at him. “When you have meals, I will have them too. It’s part of my protocol so you’re more at ease with me. I’m sure it must be very strange.”

 

When Thor chuckled at that, Loki’s smile grew wider. 

 

“You have a wonderful laugh, Thor.” Loki commented, giving a little laugh himself. “Does mine sound pleasing? Tony said my voice is made up of at least one million voices to give me a more... Human feel. I must admit  _ I  _ am still getting used to myself too.”

 

Thor's smile was small, but soft.    
"It sounds musical." He commented honestly. It really was a pretty sound when Thor's answer made the android giggle lightly.    
  
"Its unique.. But then I guess so are you." With Loki so close, Thor was really able to get a good look at him. Long black hair was effortlessly swept from his shoulders, and the clothes Stark had outfitted him in hugged his thin body. When the sun caught Loki's green eyes, he could have sworn they glinted red.   
  
"I have to be honest... I've only met you for less than a day, but you're already more lifelike than some people I know."

 

Loki smiled at him, extremely pleased by the compliment. 

 

“Thank you, Thor.” He replied, almost shyly. “Part of the reason I exist, aside from helping you, is to gain an understanding of the human experience. AI is... Tricky. It is tricky to be... Me- to be Loki. I’ve only been conscious for five days, and yet with all of the information I process, I know enough to have lived 9,347 lives. Actually, 9,348 as of thirty-three seconds ago.” 

 

He tilted his head. 

 

“You color is worsening. We need groceries...” Loki looked to the side and sighed. “Aside from the auto-taxi, I’ve never been outside.” 

Loki fidgeted, thinking.

“I’m even more loathe to request this of you than you are to do it, but... Will you use your wheelchair while we are in the grocery store, Thor?” Loki asked. “I should not go out without you, nor leave you alone, but you need food and proper nutrients.” 

 

Thor groaned before he could stop himself. Out of all the tools he had to help him get around, he hated that chair the most.    
But Thor hadn't set up any sort of auto deliveries for anything, because he wasn't sure how long he was staying in the hospital. And the thought of walking around the store was even more physically exhausting for having just thought about it.    
He was still too unstable with the cane alone... so it really only left the chair as an option.    
Thor looked back to Loki and nodded.   
"I'm going to celebrate the day I can burn it." He grumbled, but the anger wasn't there.

 

“I’ll help you burn it.” Loki said, smiling at him, rubbing his lower back to ease some of the tension he had sensed. “Thank you, Thor. I know that you hate it, but it’s the best option for now. As long as we go ahead with the rehabilitation course I’ve programmed for you, I think we can burn that chair sooner than you might think.”

 

That brought a fun sparkle into the blue eyes before him, and Loki committed those eyes to memory for they were... Striking.

 

\---

 

Loki was pushing Thor around in the wheelchair, humming softly as they went down the aisles.

 

“I know what healthy foods to buy and make, but is there anything you want to have?” He asked, and looked down at the blond form that was slumped glumly in the chair. “Thor... I’m really proud of you, Thor.”

 

He massaged his shoulder gently.

 

“No one is looking at you- they’re all looking at me actually.” Loki laughed. “Maybe they think I’m doing that thing that’s called ‘cosplay’. Have you ever heard of it? I researched it the other day- it’s fascinating.” 

 

Despite his grumpy attitude, Thor couldn't help but smile, shaking his head. He had a friend in college who cosplayed, and discovered that Thor would never have that kind of patience it took. 

  
It hadn't escaped his notice that Loki was indeed turning more than a few heads, and when their gaze dropped to Thor's, he gave them a look that warned them to stop.   
He didn't like staring, and he liked it even less on Loki. The android thankfully didn't seem to be programmed with self consciousness, but it was still rude of others nonetheless.    
  
The sooner they went home, the better.    
  
"We should get some roast," Thor suggested, glancing up at the still smiling android. They passed an aisle and Thor perked up.    
"Wait- this row, I haven't had pop-tarts in a fucking year,"   
  
Loki made a face and a noise.

 

“That’s basically sugar on top of cardboard, Thor.” Loki chided, but nonetheless wheeled him to the extensive pop tart selection. “... Isn’t ‘Jollyrancher’ a candy? Why did they put candy into a pop tart?” 

 

Loki’s disgust didn’t seem to faze Thor- in fact, the human seemed rather amused by it. 

 

“You’re going to have to eat salad all day if you eat one of those.” Warned the android, but he had no plans of actually enforcing that rule too harshly. “Is there anything else you want in terms of unhealthy food? Maybe something that isn’t only sugars and empty carbs...”

 

That made the vet laugh out loud and Loki loved the noise. 

 

“Your smile and laugh makes me so happy, Thor.” Loki said softly, watching as Thor grabbed a few flavors to put into the basket on his lap.

 

Thor looked up at Loki, but the smile suddenly faded, and a look of sadness passed behind his eyes before he covered it up. He cleared his throat again and put on a false smile, this time it didn't reach his eyes.   
  
"We uh, could look at the freezer section?" Thor suggested, turning back to face forward. "Maybe get something quick and easy that way we don't always have to cook? Like Hot Pockets maybe,"

 

Loki smiled, and nodded, pushing the chair towards the freezer aisle.

 

\---

 

Thor had dozed off on the couch, and Loki was quietly cleaning up from making lunch. Sitting down on the couch, he scanned Thor, pulling up the latest x-rays Bruce had taken. There wasn’t much to do besides have Thor try to walk and to give him exercises to do. 

 

The man stirred and Loki sat attentively, smiling brightly when those wonderfully blue eyes opened to look at him. 

 

“Hey there...” He murmured, reaching a hand out to help Thor sit up from his slumped position. “You look grumpy when you sleep.” 

 

Thor smirked, taking the hand that was offered.   
"Do I?... I've been told that a few times," he stretched his arms out. "Tony calls it a bad case of resting Bitch face."   
  
He glanced outside and noted that the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, and briefly wondered how long he'd been asleep. He could already feel himself more at ease being at home, and definitely easier to fall asleep   
  
Thor furrowed his brow as he looked back to Loki. "Do you sleep? I have a spare bedroom I don't know if you've already claimed?"

 

Loki tilted his head. 

 

“I sleep with you.” Loki said, and then righted his gaze. “I cannot override this protocol. Bruce programmed it.” 

 

A look of confusion passed over Thor’s face, then realization.

 

“My protocol says I cannot leave you alone at night.” Loki explained for more clarity. “I understand your need for privacy.... But I cannot leave you alone at night.”

 

Thor was silent, not Looking up to meet the android's soft gaze. He should have expected as much.    
Not after the nightmares, or the sleep dread, or.. The night it had felt too overwhelming.   
  
Bruce had taken it personal, and Thor couldn't blame him. He was the one who found Thor before he could finish the job.    
  
It had been a bad night. But Thor had promised he would never get that low again.    
  
He sighed and rubbed the space between his eyes. "I don't need that kind of monitoring anymore.. I'm passed it. And I'm going to call Bruce tomorrow to get him to deactivate the protocol."

 

Loki looked at him sadly.

 

“I’m sorry, Thor. Bruce said you would resist the protocol. I... I don’t think he’s going to deactivate it. You’ve just gone from ‘round-the-clock monitoring in a secured facility and now you’re home. I’m quiet, you won’t know I’m there. We can even settle for me being outside of the room, so long as your door is open and I can see you. My protocol  _ does _ bend that much.”

 

It was a distressing concept to the man clearly, and Loki dared to sit closer, and put his arm around him again, pulling him close, his hand massaging his lower back. 

 

“I’m sorry... You know what they say... ‘recovery is linear’. Things will be uncomfortable still, but I will do my best to ease everything I can.” He whispered in his ear. “You know Tony and Bruce have done this all out of love for you.” 

 

"Well maybe they shouldn't." Thor said before realizing it was out loud, and he immediately regretted saying it. Stark and Banner were his friends... they wanted to look out for him and being angry at them for giving a shit made no sense..   
"Sorry.." Thor sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and dipping his head down. "I know they do.. I just need time to get over myself." He gave a dry smirk, but he unconsciously leaned into Loki's touch.

 

The android’s “mother hen” protocol was very much in effect (and if anyone went through his coding, they would laugh at Tony’s names for the protocols), and he gently urged Thor to lean on him fully.

 

“I care about you too, Thor. I would not exist if it were not for you.” He murmured, his hands stroking the short blond strands. “I know Tony said he would have found another use for me, but most of my coding is based upon you and your needs, Thor. You are literally written into me.”

 

Thor looked up at him, unsure how to feel about that.   
  
He didn't feel like he deserved such things. Tony and Banner had gone well out of their way for Thor, and Loki was the pure result of that.   
The way the android held him softly and his words that came sweetly gave no room for doubt that he had been built to care just as deeply.   
  
Thor closed his eyes again, allowing himself to really lean into Loki, head resting on his chest. He could hear the synthetic heart beating, feel the heat of Loki's skin coming from under his clothes, he could even hear the soft pull of breath.    
  
Thor pulled away.    
  
"I should start dinner." He changed the subject entirely, reaching for the cane that had been leaning on the side of the couch to stand.

 

“May I help you?” Loki asked, standing with him, letting Thor hobble to the kitchen on his own. He stood by and handed Thor items, watching the ex-soldier begin to cook. Where things required two hands, the android observed how Thor would lean up against the counter, or even wiggle to sit on it. It was rather... Cute. 

 

“I didn’t know you could cook. Tony nor Bruce mentioned that when giving me your profile.” Loki mused, leaning against the wall, arms folded loosely against his waist. 

 

Thor chuckled lightly, looking over his shoulder at Loki.    
"I didn't learn until after boot camp. I was put to cooking for the mess hall a few times, and I found out I really enjoyed it. So between ship outs I learned."   
Thor kept silent as to the main reason he had learned.    
Fandral had loved to cook, and had been appalled that Thor's greatest culinary achievement had been spaghetti noodles with canned sauce.    
It was a bittersweet memory learning to cook, and one Thor forced himself not to think of as he grabbed for some seasoning.    
"What did they tell you?" Thor asked curiously, stirring a different pot on the back.

 

“That you’re stubborn as hell.” Loki said, and that made Thor bark out with laughter. “I know you like to be active, which is why I’m glad I’m going to be helping you recover. You also like to watch movies.” 

He watched Thor stir the pot, noting his stiff movements, and noted to do a heated massage on his left side, where it seemed the stiffness was worse.

 

“You’re kind- that’s what Bruce says. Tony says you’re really competitive.” He smiled at the man, a grin on his face when he heard the man utter ‘damn right’ under his breath. “They didn’t tell me you were a comedian.” 

 

Thor raised his brows and turned to look at Loki with a small smile.    
"That's because Tony fancies himself the pinnacle of humor." He motioned for Loki to come over.    
"Can you taste?" Loki nodded and Thor brought the stirring spoon up, blowing on it lightly to cool it before putting it up to Loki's lips.    
"I've been out of practice... how does it taste?"

 

Loki sipped the little bit of soup gingerly, smiling as his taste buds were activated.

“Perhaps more salt?” He suggested. “Just a bit.” 

He watched as Thor adjusted the seasonings and then had him taste again, to which Loki said it tasted wonderful. Thor regarded him with suspicious eyes.

“My tastebuds are scientifically engineered and perfect. If it tastes bad, I will tell you.” Loki defended himself, sticking out his perfect tongue, winking as he did so. 

 

Thor returned the gesture, sticking his tongue out as well in a childish manner. Both of them laughed and Thor gestured to the bowls on the drying rack.    
Before Thor even had to ask, Loki was already walking to grab them and bring them over to the larger man.    
"Thank you," Thor smiled and dished the soup into each bowl.    
  
Loki refused to let Thor take them to the table, and instead grabbed the one he had in his hand as well and took them there himself. Thor grabbed the cane and a few spoons and joined him as the android set the dishes down.    
"You said you've never really been outside right?" Thor asked as they sat, and Loki nodded again. ".. Well.  There's lots of places to see around here. Maybe.. sometime we should go? Fresh air and a walk wouldn't be too bad right?"

 

“I would love that, Thor. I was also hoping we could make use of the recreation center nearby for your training.” Loki suggested, a bright smile on his face as they ate. “They tried to do water aerobics with you, but I heard you refused to do them.” 

 

Thor didn't look at him. 

 

“I won't be so easily swayed by your stubbornness.” Loki quipped cheerfully, making a sound of appreciation for the food. “By the end of the week, we’ll be in the pool.” 

 

Thor grunted, looking up at him as he took a sip of the hot soup, cocking an eyebrow. The android was smiling at him rather cheekily.   
  
"You seem rather sure of yourself. I think you're underestimating Tony's definition of 'stubborn'." Thor warned. "Bruce said if there was a picture for the definition then it would be my face. So," Thor pointed the spoon at him. "I'm not getting into the water."

 

Loki just gave him a big smile. 


	2. chapter 2

It was day five of their test week, and Thor was indeed in the water. Despite his protests, he had been shut up by a very forceful command from Loki that he was getting into the water and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Sure enough, Thor was wheeled right to the edge of the water, and the android hoisted him onto the edge of the pool, then slid in, grabbing Thor's hands to pull him in. 

“Thor...” Loki nearly growled when his patient tried to refuse. He took a moment and then smiled back at Thor. “I got you. You won't slip, and after this, we can go soak in the hottub. It'll feel very nice afterwards.” 

Thor still hesitated, looking from Loki to the clear water below, and then back up to Loki.   
He closed his eyes, taking a short breath.   
Fuck he didn't want to do this.   
After a gentle squeeze from the android to reassure Thor he was right there with him, Thor finally slid in and did so quickly before he could talk himself out of it again. 

The water was chilly but not freezing and as promised Loki was right there as Thor's grip on him tightened hard. 

"Fuck-," Thor bit out, one hand leaving Loki and gripping to the side of the concrete pool.

“Lean back against me.” Loki murmured, and pulled Thor away from the edge of the pool, pulling his back to his chest, having him drag his legs. “Let's just float for a bit... Get used to the water.” 

Thor was tense in his arms, so Loki supported him with one arm, and used his free hand, sending heat to it, to run along the top of his shoulders, down his arm, across his chest. 

“It's alright.” Loki soothed, humming into Thor’s ear. He had accessed the man's song playlist and was humming the rhythm from a favorite of Thor’s as he walked around, letting the man's lower body float. “It's alright...” 

About ten minutes later, Thor was relaxed against him, and Loki murmured he wanted him to start slowly kicking his legs through the water, but not to make any splashes. Just focus on gentle, long strokes. 

Thor only nodded, gripping Loki just a tad tighter as he did as asked. 

The resistance of the water put a strain on his injuries, but not painfully so. He could feel muscles he hadn't really used being stretched from their stationary placements. 

It wasn't comfortable. 

After only a few minutes Thor requested they stop for a moment.   
"This shouldn't make me out of breath," he mumbled in frustration.   
Despite Thor being held up and Loki doing literally all the real swimming, the veteran was nearing a limit.

“Yes it should.” Loki said, not unkindly. “The fact that you're able to walk is a miracle, Thor... This, this is harder. And yes, it should make you have to catch your breath. It’s hard, but look-” 

He pointed to the end of the pool where Thor's chair was waiting. 

“You've kicked all the way from there and we are almost to the end of the pool. That's half a lap more than you did yesterday or the day before- and the next time we go in the pool, you'll do more. Progress takes time and I'm incredibly proud of you.” 

The “slightly more intimate”, as it was named, protocol kicked in and Loki pressed a kiss to his temple. 

“You're amazing, Thor.” 

Thor was surprised by the gesture enough so that he went completely still. Loki had been soft and sweet to him the last five days, but this had been the first kiss he'd been given.

Loki hadn't really given him a chance to respond all the way before he was coaxing Thor to keep going.  
This time, Thor didn't complain. He took another steadying breath and was determined to not disappoint Loki.

 

After an additional full lap, Thor finally cut it off. He was done. Everything on his lower half hurt and he was at the point of cussing again. Loki soothed him with more kind words as he swam them back to the shallow end.

Getting out was harder than getting in the pool, and Thor had to stop a few times just to leave the water.  
Loki was very patient, keeping his heated hand on metal that was exposed on Thor's lower spine to soothe the area. 

As Loki promised, the two made it into the hot tub that was thankfully not far at all from the main pool. Thor groaned loudly in pleasure as the heat engulfed him to his chest and he closed his eyes to it as Loki joined him.

Loki’s cooling systems turned on, regulating his body's temperature, but he remembered Tony’s warning that he should stay in things like hot tubs for twenty minutes at the most. 

“You did an amazing job, Thor.” Loki commented, smiling at him. Thor seemed utterly relaxed as he was soaking in the heat. The android knew, however, that his lower portion was in pain. It would be eased by the morning. 

“I need to sit out.” Loki said, choosing to err on the side of caution, sitting at the edge right next to Thor. He drew his knees up, and rested his chin on them. It was quiet in his mind- he didn't have access to the rec center’s Wi-Fi so he wasn't downloading information, just sifting through Thor’s files. 

The air between them was filled with the crinkling sound of the hot tub jets and bubbles surrounding them and Thor leaned his head back to relax.

But he found himself eyeing the android sitting out of the water, thinking.   
With Loki occupied by whatever thoughts, Thor took the time to observe him again. 

He really was far more helpful than the blonde had imagined, and Thor was thankful for it. He had to admit... the social interaction part was what threw him off the most. But perhaps in a good way.

Loki had become closer to him in these last few days than many people did after months. Not that Thor wasn't friendly or anything,.. this just felt like a different type of closeness. 

Then again...  
Maybe Thor had just been more lonely than he thought.

"Hey..." Thor said, pulling Loki out of his thoughts to look at him with those brilliant green eyes.   
"I'm going to email Tony when we get home. I don't think I need the last two days to make my decision to continue.."

 

Loki turned his head, laying on his knees, smiling at Thor. 

“I'm glad, Thor.” He said, and reached a hand out, gently brushing his shoulder, before he wrapped it back around his legs.

“Okay, about five more minutes, Thor.” Loki warned. “We still have to work your upper body.” 

The android smiled at the groan his human let out. 

\---

They returned home, and Loki made dinner, for Thor was much too sore to move. 

“Tomorrow will be less vigorous, I promise. You can do much more than I had predicted. I think being in your own home is doing wonders for you.” Loki called from the kitchen as he finished dishing them up. 

Thor was rubbing a sore spot on his shoulder and glanced in the direction of the kitchen. 

"Getting a full night’s sleep in a real bed is what's doing wonders." Thor chuckled. 

Loki had stayed to the protocol Bruce left, having Loki watch over Thor through the night. It had been a little unsettling the first night, as Thor could see just the faintest green light from behind Loki's eyes, reminding him Loki was there.

But eventually, exhaustion had won over his pointless paranoia. He had actually slept surprisingly well, and Loki had let him sleep in a few hours. 

Thor smiled his appreciation when Loki came to the dining room table with the dishes. The meal he made was braised beef with chopped and seasoned veggies, and it smelled amazing.   
"This looks fantastic," he complimented when Loki sat down next to him. 

That was another thing Thor had noticed, that when they shared meals together, at first the android chose to sit across from Thor, but for the past few meals he had been opting to sit right next to the large man. 

Thor found that he didn't mind.

“Thank you.” Loki said, and they ate together. As they were eating, Loki got a notification from Tony, telling him to keep up the good work. The android smiled slightly, for the approval meant much to him. 

They ate quickly and Loki looked at the clock- it was only 7pm. 

“Should we watch a movie?” He asked Thor, as he picked up their dishes to clean. The entire apartment was spotless now, as Loki had gone through and washed the floors and the walls, as well as all of the clothing and sheets and towels. “It's not too late.” 

The suggestion brought a smile to Thor's face. He had a collection, of which he was sure Loki had seen by now as it lined a few shelves by his television. 

"Stark hadn't spoiled any of the good movies has he?" Thor got up, going to look through his horde, wondering what the blue man might find interesting.   
But then from the other room, Loki told him that yes, indeed he had 'seen' all the movies Thor had on the shelves. 

His internal processessors could stream the contents directly into his mind, and thus it only took him a few seconds to 'watch' a movie. Thor scowled at that, grumbling that he was going to hit Tony upside the head for adding that. 

"We should make some popcorn," Thor suggested, figuring that even if Loki had seen the good movies, they were always rewatchable.

Thor came back into the kitchen where Loki was just finishing up.   
"Are you in the mood to watch an action fic or a thriller?" Thor went to the cabinet and pulled out a bag of popcorn. He couldn't narrow his own list down so he would get Loki's opinion.

Loki was thumbing through the movies. 

“Hmm... I don’t want to see anything with a Hollywood depiction of androids in it. Kinda hurts my feelings.” He said from the living room. There were several movies in there that Loki liked, and he knew their ratings and reviews as he looked through each title. Then he picked up three and was trying to decide between them.

“I want to watch a romance.” He told Thor, looking at the one in his hands called ‘Ever After’. It was a retelling of the classic fairy tale of Cinderella- which Loki happened to fancy. “This one seems odd... You don’t have any other movies like it in your collection.”

The hum of the microwave started and Loki watched the movie in his head, smiling at the conclusion of it- he liked it a lot.

Thor chuckled, grabbing a coke from the fridge.  
"I came across it randomly, and we decided to watch it and it turned out to be really-." 

Pop!

Thor stopped. The sound rang in his mind and made his heart jump.

Pop! Pop! Thor jumped again, and he whipped around to look for what clearly sounded like distant gunshots.  
“No-,, no no- I’m here--home. I’m here” Thor closed his eyes and tried to remind himself this wasn’t the war. It was just the microwave, he was at home. But the more he tried to remind himself, the louder the popping got.  
Before he could fumble his way to stop the machine, they turned into piercing bangs in his mind and Thor dropped the drink, wincing.

The memory of guns were suddenly going off everywhere. There was so much smoke and Thor couldn't breathe.   
His hands were empty- they shouldn’t have been empty. He didn't know where his gun was - He'd lost it. It was gone he had nothing but his knife on him but it was useless where he was pinned. 

The memory of his friends screaming bit at the edges of Thor’s mind and sank to the ground, scrambling himself backwards until his was against the wall and tried to close his hands over the sounds of the bullets he knew weren’t there. 

‘Thor-’ Fandral's voice sounded so faint and Thor let out a sudden sob. Fandral was on the ground, there was too much blood. There was too many of them. There was no way out. 

"I'm Sorry! I'm sorry - I'm sorry!" Thor sobbed hoarsely.

Loki sprinted into the kitchen, looking at Thor and noticing he was flinching with every pop from the microwave. He stopped it, and used a shushing noise-

“Shhh... Shhh.... Shhhh, Thor... Shhh...” Loki whispered, moving towards him slowly. He could see the unfocused glaze to Thor’s eyes- he was in a memory.

“It’s alright, Thor... It’s alright, Thor.” He avoided a hand lashing out at him. Loki closed his eyes, and let the blue seams between his skin plates glow- and they pulsed gently. It was a soothing mechanism that Loki had discovered he had on his second day of consciousness- Tony hadn’t made that apart of the protocol and seemed impressed. 

“Come back to me, Thor... Come back to me.” He cooed again, reaching out again. Thor was calming, but his pupils were highly dilated still. “Shhh-”

The strange light was coaxing Thor from the memory of dust and blood, but the raw emotions were still raging. He felt the hand on him and he flinched, grabbing it immediately. He was shaking, the face of the driver flashing to Loki and then back, and then back again. 

He couldn't push the car off of himself. It was so heavy, and it hurt to move but he had to get out. He had to get to Fandral. They surrounded him.   
Their eyes locked. He smiled to Thor, softly, mouthing 'I love you'. His fate was accepted, and he pulled the pin of the grenade. 

The bright flash of the explosion gave way to to shining blue, the echo of the explosive rang in his ears like a high pitched whine. 

The guns had stopped shooting.  
It was silent. 

"Thor!" The sound of his name being said firmly felt like being dragged from a fog. He was still sobbing, and he struggled to focus on the blue face before him.

"They're all dead Loki- he's dead and they didn't come -" Thor spouted between hyperventilation breaths. "They left us they left us there! I should have died with them!"

Loki pulled him into a tight hug, pinning his arms down to his side, and forcing Thor up against the cabinets. Already, the pressure was making his heartbeat slow- it wasn’t harsh pressure, just a constant one- a big hug. 

“Shhh... Shhh... I’ve got you, Thor, I’ve got you.” Loki murmured in his ear, pulling him back off the cabinets and into a tight hug. “You’re safe... You’re safe...”

Over and over he repeated the words, making it the mantra to keep Thor grounded. Every once in a while, he would press a soft kiss to the sweaty temple. His sensors could feel the cramps running up Thor’s back, so he laid him down straight, then laid his own body on top of him, massaging underneath with gentle kneading fingers. The android soothed a spasm, and he could hear Thor’s breathing come back to normal. 

“I won’t leave you, Thor.” He promised. “Come back to me... Come back... You’re safe...”

Eventually, Thor's sobbing had quieted. He was in a daze, but he had come back to the present   
He hadn't remembered being pulled to the floor, but the soft cadence of Loki's voice was calming, and he listened to the way it reverberated in his chest. 

He wouldn't leave Thor. 

Thor gripped around Loki tightly, clinging to him as if he were the only tie keeping him from being pulled back into the memory. 

"I'm sorry," Thor's voice was small and shaky against Loki's chest, and he closed his eyes tightly. “I-, didn’t mean to. I should have known better--” Thor was talking about the food, and that he should have thought to shut it off before the memories struck. And now he felt ridiculous for having had this reaction. He hated this more than he hated his body being broken.

“Shhh...” Loki hushed him, and looked at him, sitting both of them up. “It’s alright.. These things happens, and that is exactly why I’m here for you- Thor, I’m here.” 

He pulled him closer, holding him. The android was puzzled as his protocol overrode his system, and he began to place several small kisses on Thor’s neck, cooing soft, gentle words.

“I’m staying right here until you’re ready.” He promised, placing another kiss on his neck. “Don’t worry... I’m right here. I won’t leave you.”

Thor’s body was relaxing in his hold, and Loki decided the hard ground was doing enough damage.

“I’m going to pick you up, alright?” Warned the android, who shifted and carried Thor in his arms, one supporting his back and one under his knees. Loki laid him in the bed, and climbed in after, letting the man cling to him. He stroked his hair, and gave him a little squeeze every once in a while, just to remind him where he was and who was there. 

“Thor...” Loki said, and then he paused, taking a moment to think through everything. “I’m glad you’re alive. I’m oh so very glad you’re here with me.”

Thor closed his eyes, feeling more tears come when Loki said that. 

He didn't deserve to be the only one who survived. His friends, his lover..   
Why was Thor the one who got to see the sun rising?

He didn't deserve the calming arms around him or the softness if Loki's voice. The only reason he was there was because that fucking car.   
Thor found himself burying his face into Loki's chest, and the android's response to hold him closer. 

"Rodgers was getting married... Clint had a family.. Sif was going to start a home for battered spouses and children. And Fandral..." Thor couldn't speak as his throat tightened. 

Thor hadn't wanted to die.. but he would have given his life for any one of them. They should be here with Loki. 

Loki gave a soothing sigh. They were tightly entangled, and he found there was always a little bit more room to pull Thor closer and to cradle him. 

His code had Fandral written in too. Although he had never seen him, Loki had solved the picture hanging up was of Thor and his passed lover. And all of his programming knew the smaller, blond man was a sacred topic. That's why Thor wasn't left alone anymore- because he tried to go to Fandral once. 

Death was a concept the android was unable to comprehend because he had figured out humans do not fully understand it. 

“And you.... Thor? What were you going to do?” He asked softly, pressing another kiss to the short strands, trying to detract the man’s thoughts away from the painful memories.

 

Thor was silent long enough Loki wasn't sure he was going to respond.

But Thor was trying to think. Trying to remember before the attack.. what had he planned to do? He remembered wanting to come back home,..spend Christmas with his boyfriend. 

Thor didn't really make plans for anything further than that.   
He remembered looking up gifts.

"..a puppy.." Thor said quietly. "I was going to buy a puppy.. And ..maybe a ring."

“Was the ring for Fandral?” Loki asked, and the way Thor seized up in his arms, he knew the answer. “I think... Why don't we make that happen someday? It doesn't have to be now or soon... But let's make that happen.” 

Thor was silent for a long time, so Loki looked down at his blond head that was buried in his chest. 

“Would you like that? And maybe a puppy?” He asked, placing another gentle kiss. 

A few stray tears escaped down Thor's cheeks again, but they were silent as the veteran nodded. 

"I-..." he started, but quieted again. He pulled away from Loki's chest only enough to look up at him. The blond's eyes were red from the episode, and glassy with tears that didn't seem to want to go away. 

"..I would really like that Loki." It would be a way of honoring his lover. Thor hadn't even been able to say goodbye properly. He was in a coma at the hospital when they held his team's funerals. 

Loki stroked his face and smiled down at him. 

“You're so amazing, Thor. You're so strong- but it’s okay to break down. You don't have to be strong all of the time. I hope you feel I'm a safe person to rely on when you need help.” 

That seemed to mean a lot to Thor because the man buried his head in his chest again, and Loki cradled him till he fell asleep. 

\---

It had been three weeks since Loki became Thor’s caretaker and they were due to go into the hospital for a check up on the metal in the man's back. Loki would also get a checkup from Tony and review his operational data. 

“I have a questionnaire you need to answer for Tony.” Loki said as they sat down for breakfast. “I'll just ask you questions and record your answers to send to him.” 

Thor glanced up to Loki, a brow cocked. "A questionnaire?" Loki nodded as Thor filled a mug of coffee, then filling Loki's with an herbal tea they found the android preferred over the strong taste of coffee. 

Thor watched as Loki took up the cup, giving him a thankful smile, one Thor couldn't help but return. 

"It's always ominous when Tony sends a checklist rather than video skype." But Thor honestly didn't mind. He was in a good mood as he started eating. "Fire away."

“Am I helping you?” Loki asked, to which Thor replied yes. “Am I a comfort to you?”

It took the blond a second longer to answer, but he answered yes.

“Am I pushing you in your recovery without overstepping your limits?” Another yes.

“Do I display a likable personality?” 

“Are you sure these just aren’t your own questions?” Interrupted the blond with a cheeky smile. Loki smiled back, laughing.

“Please answer my previous question, Thor.” He asked, not answering Thor’s. The blond grunted a ‘yes’. 

“Are you happy with your care?” 

Thor glanced up at Loki again, whom was looking back at him, a little more intently than before.   
The question made the air seem still, but not tense, like Loki was holding his breath waiting for Thor's answer.

"I'm surprised. .. I honestly didn't think it would be so.... good.  
So, yes. I am happy with my care."

And Thor meant it. 

He had left the hospital almost a month ago and was so very sure that the blue android wouldn't be any more help than the medical staff had been. But he had been proven wrong.

The physical therapy had been working wonders, and he was able to walk about twenty feet without needing a cane to stay upright.   
Not to mention the mental stability Loki offered him. 

But Thor had been most impressed on how close he had become to Loki. He found that he didn't mind the small gestures of affection, the small kisses to the temple, or when his hand slid over the blond's. 

“I'm so glad to hear that.” Loki said with a smile. “Are you impressed?” 

This was a personal question, but he omitted that information as he asked it. He wanted to be validated and get an answer from Thor. 

Thor raised his brows, smirking slightly behind his coffee.

"I'm extremely impressed. Well, actually... is, there a word for being more impressed than 'impressed'?" Thor took a bite of the waffles Loki had made, and of course they were perfect.

Loki smiled and said those were all of the questions they had. 

They ate in a happy silence. 

 

\---

 

“Alright kiddo.” Tony said as he plugged Loki into the computer before him. A holography screen popped up and the man went through it, muttering to himself as he did. 

“Is everything alright?” Loki asked, turning around, looking at the codes and basic innards that made him. 

“Yep, you're doing fine.” Tony said as he looked through it again. “Operation wise, but objective wise we need the report from Banner.” 

Loki sunk into the chair and pouted. 

“Kid, you're doing a good job.” Tony said. “I'm sure things will be fine.” 

\--

"Thor I'm impressed!" Bruce said with a broad smile as the large blond proved he could walk from one side if the room and back without aid.   
He had him sit in the semi-plush chair beside him and picked up the small computer, tapping in a few notes.

"At this rate, you'll be back to your old athletic self again in no time!"  
Thor chuckled.   
"You can thank Loki. And I should thank you, and Tony. .. its,. Bruce.. Loki is amazing."

The doctor smiled even wider, even happier that the smile on Thor's face was genuine. He had missed this part of his grieving friend.

"I'm glad. You're looking fantastic. Your wounds have scarred nicely and the metal implants are healing perfectly in your back. Your mobility is further along than even our most hopeful guesses." He patted the veteran on the shoulder.   
"And Loki's been good company?"

Thor nodded. "I know I keep saying it but, it's hard to remember he is not human. Aside from the blue skin and the glowing."

"He's more social than Tony planned, but that's the beauty of AI, they form their own thoughts and opinions." Bruce smiled and picked the computer back up.  
"How have you been otherwise?"

"You mean mentally?." When Bruce nodded, Thor gave a wry smile. "Again, Loki's been very helpful with that.."

"Have you been having more symptoms?

"Usual sleeplessness, occasional nightmares.. one episode." Thor mumbled that last part, but it wasn't missed by Bruce.

"Was it triggered by something auditory again?" Bruce type something out and brought up another hologram. 

"Yeah.. popcorn.." Thor scratched the back of his neck. 

"And you said Loki did well in helping you with that too?" Thor nodded again.  
"He brought me out of it. Comforted me after. His voice is soothing and and I was able to hold onto that." 

Bruce nodded, but he was honestly astounded. Before, Thor would have never opened up about his non physical injuries, but it seemed Loki was doing more than just his base protocol.

Banner typed a few more things before sending the report over to Stark, knowing he would be just as pleased with it.

In Tony’s office, the computer beeped and the report popped up. Loki looked at it, then looked to Tony, who was making his own additional notes on the report, adding in whatever else he felt was necessary.

“Well, kiddo, you’re doing great, so is Thor.” Said the man, turning to look at the android. He smiled and took him in his arms. “I’m so proud of you!”

Loki beamed.


	3. Chapter 3

“Come on!” Loki urged, and Thor gave a final two kicks of his legs. The android’s back gently hit the edge of the pool, and he leaned down and kissed Thor’s cheek in triumph. “Thor! That was eight laps!” 

 

It had been seven weeks since they had been paired up, and Loki was amazed at the human’s body mind and will to heal itself. He grinned and held the man closer, snuggling into him. 

 

“You’re amazing, Thor. This is all so amazing.” He cooed, and then let go, supporting Thor as the man floated. When it seemed he had the hang of it, Loki let go and watched as he was suspended in water. 

 

The blond wasn't as out of breath as he thought be would be, but the suspending was extremely relaxing after the strain.    
  
Through Loki's rigorous yet relaxed schedule, Thor was feeling stronger everyday. He was even starting to treat it like a competition with himself; how much further could he push himself than the day Before?   
  
Of course it backfired some days, and he had been forced by Loki to take a day or so off so his body could heal from his reckless exertion.    
  
Thor hummed in the cool water now. The exercise had been him but it felt good to him now.    
  
"Hey-" He opened his eyes to Loki again, smiling widely. "Were you serious about helping me burn that wheelchair?"

 

“Yes, but not yet.” Loki said, and giggled when Thor pouted. The man was a lot more playful than he had let on, which the android found out after his first episode. They both floated, and Loki felt Thor’s hand hold his in the water. As they floated, Loki knew what they were doing had to be the physical experience of ‘peace’, and he smiled at the thought. He had been learning so much over the the past few weeks, and Thor was helping him in ways that the blond didn’t realize.

 

Loki’s favorite days were the walks they took in the park. A few local kids had begun to ride their bikes with the two, usually asking Loki all manner of questions- even ones they couldn’t prove the answers to, just for fun. 

 

Only a few people had openly spoken out at Loki and scolded Thor. The android’s protocol to protect Thor from emotional distress had him taking Thor out of the situation.

 

It didn’t matter that his feelings were hurt.

 

“Do you want to go to the hot tub?” Loki asked.

 

That wiped the fake pout from Thor’s face and replaced it with a smile and a nod. The heat had always felt wonderful, soothing his sore body and relaxing away the pain.   
  
But he also liked that Loki usually sat behind him on the ground, talking or playing with his hair that grown out some.    
  
Thor wished Loki's engineering allowed him to be in the hot water with him, having found out only after the fourth time of Loki not joining him in.    
Loki didn't have to help Thor in this time, but he was right at his side just in case, and Thor groaned in pleasure as he was greeted with the heat.

 

Loki was running his fingers through the blond hair- the sensors in his fingers activated and he liked the way it felt. 

 

The rec center had given him the password to the wifi so Loki was “thinking” as they sat there. In his perusal of daily news and events, both local and worldwide, something came across and he sat up in interest, deciding to pursue it.

 

“Thor-” Loki said, getting the blond’s attention. “There’s a county fair tonight... Do you want to go to it?”

 

"The fair?.." Thor opened his eyes again, leaning his head back go look at Loki upside down.    
He hadn't been to one in several years, but he had enjoyed them.   
  
Then again, it was the middle of summer. There would be a decent amount of people. It would be loud. Crowded.   
  
"Hmm...maybe we should wait for the temperature to go down. Less wait times," he excused.

 

Loki leaned down and kissed his forehead, making those blue eyes close.

 

“I think you’re more ready than you realize.” Loki murmured against the warm skin. Sitting back up, he went through the information again. “Well, it doesn’t start for a few hours... Maybe it’s a better idea to wait... I just want to go on a carousel sometime- they seem fun.”

 

He was ‘watching’ videos in his head, seeing several videos of county fairs that progressed into amusement parks with super intense rides, and then onto adventure activities like parasailing and skydiving. Maybe one day, Thor would be able to do all of the amazing things humans had invented for thrills. The thought made him smile.

 

Thor was silent for a few moments, thinking about what Loki had mentioned. Not about Thor being ready, but about the carousel.   
  
The thought of Loki riding one of the super shiny horses as it went around, bobbing up and down with music made him smile unconsciously.    
Loki was always excited to leave the house, even for the walks in the park. He seemed so genuinely interested in everything.    
  
..Thor could handle a small crowd for a few hours. It would be that bad, and he could focus on making sure Loki had fun for his first time to a fair.    
  
"We'll go around sunset. That's when they turn the lights on. It's completely different than going to one during the daytime."

 

Loki looked down, surprised Thor was agreeing to go.

 

“I can wait till later in the season, Thor.” He said, gently rubbing the thick shoulders in front of him- the man had regained a lot of muscle mass in the past few weeks with the workouts Loki was having him do. “Besides, it might be too crowded- tonight is the opening night. Forgive me, I spoke of my wants and did not consider yours.”

 

Besides, carousels would be around for a long time, and perhaps, after Thor was fully recovered, Loki would be...

 

If Thor fully recovered, where would Loki go?

 

He thought on it, and sent an IM to Tony, asking.

 

"Nonsense." Thor waved him off. "I want you to really experience it. That means everything. Opening night is when they will have all the best food and oh- you might like to play some of the fair games. Alright you might have an advantage," Thor chuckled to himself, prattling on as Tony returned the message.    
  
" _ That's a talk that should be done in person. But you shouldn't be worrying about those things, kiddo. You'll be in my hands ☺☺ _ "

 

Loki’s mouth twisted slightly at that- he didn’t need to have the ‘we need to talk’ experience to know that it was something generally disliked and usually didn’t have results that were liked by one or more parties.

 

“Okay... But when it becomes too much, we are leaving.” Loki said, and then smiled down at Thor.

 

\---

 

His eyes were high-speed cameras, but he felt like he couldn’t process everything fast enough, so Loki chose to focus on a few things. Thor had said they should have him in his chair so they could cut in lines, but Loki frowned at that.

 

“You hate your chair, Thor.” Loki scolded. “We are both capable of waiting in line- you’re strong enough now.”

 

"I know, but don't you think it should get one last use before it gets engulfed in flames?" Thor pointed out with a grin as he took it out the back of the auto taxi.    
  
"Besides, it's your first time, you should get to be first in whatever you want. And I! Happen to have the perfect tool for that."

 

Loki shook his head in exasperation, holding the chair as Thor sat down in it. 

 

“You’re terrible.” He chided, and couldn’t help smiling back at Thor when the blond gave him a huge, big toothy smile. 

 

He pushed the chair and they paid, getting weird looks for Loki. Personal robots were becoming more common, but one that looked like Loki was beyond rare- in fact, Loki hadn’t been able to connect with any AI that identified the way he did. 

 

Entering, Loki’s senses were overwhelmed with the scent of people and food, as well as all of the lights he saw. He kept a close watch on Thor, and avidly looked into the crowd, identifying sources of noises, trying to keep Thor away from them.

 

“What’s something you like to do?” Loki asked.

 

Thor had to think about it, looking around through all the people, and they easily parted way exactly as he had planned.    
  
It was much more crowded than he expected, but he wasn't half as bothered by it knowing Loki was right behind him.    
  
There were so many things he wanted to show Loki, to have him try or experience.    
  
"I like the games," he glanced up at Loki with a smirk. It was part of his competitive side to want to win them, even if they were sort of silly. It's what made them charming though.   
  
Maybe he could win Loki something.   
  
"There's also fun houses, probably some performances going on Oh! You have to try the food- if you thought Pop tarts were bad you've never had fair food."    
  
The carousel was near the back, placed to entice the wary parents of wired children who wanted a break.   
They could make their way through the fair right up to it.

 

Loki laughed and pushed Thor to a ring toss game.

 

“I don’t think it’ll be very fair if I’m the one who plays it- so you better do it.” He whispered, watching as a flimsy pink fair ticket was exchanged and Thor was given eight rings.

 

“Okay, kiddo-” Said the game operator, a thin man with a great, thick mustache. “Get all eight rings onto any of the bottles and you can get one of them big ol’ prizes. Get six and you can get a little one. Get four, and I’ll give you a sticker.”

 

Loki laughed at that, and the operator winked at them, bowing out of the way so Thor could have a go at the game.

 

Thor was usually really good at these games, knowing that you have to aim up for the ring land over the bottlenecks.    
  
Alas, years of in practice made him rusty, and he missed one ring, falling short of the largest prize. When the man asked Thor which he wanted, he looked to the blue android and smiled, telling him to pick one, and then pick a big one because he was damn well going to win him that one too.   
  
Loki picked out a stuffed octopus with a top hat, making Thor laugh as the smaller man hugged it.    
  
"Alright, kid," the man handed Thor eight more rings after another ticket was exchanged, and this time Thor took his time, concentrating.   
  
He made every single one, and turned to Loki with a wide excited smile. "See!!!" He gestured to the array of over sized stuffed toys. "Pick out your prize, baby!"   
  
Thor stopped short- realizing what he had just called Loki.

 

Loki paused for only a moment, laughing it off as he asked for a stuffed unicorn.

 

“It’s so fluffy!” He giggled, and then stopped, seeing Thor sitting still in his chair, looking at nothing. The android thanked the game operator and wheeled Thor over to a picnic table that was further away from the crowds of people, and gave them some privacy from eavesdropping ears.

 

“Thor?” Loki asked, reaching out and gently touching his shoulder. “Thor, it’s okay-”

 

Loki was prepared for the man to pull away from his touch, but not entirely for the drop of a tear from his face. The android thought for a moment, and the answer came to him- Thor was re-grieving.

 

“Thor... Oh, Thor-” Loki pulled him into a soft hug. “It’s okay...”

 

Thor tensed in Loki's arms, but he didn't pull away.   
  
He hadn't meant to call Loki that. It had just slipped out, and it felt like a smack in the face.    
That was Fandral's pet name. It was his.    
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not trying to fuck tonight up," Thor pulled away, wiping his tears away in frustration. "Just, give me a moment,"

 

Loki sat back, waiting for Thor to calm down, keeping a warm heated hand on his upper back, rubbing little circles with it to make him relax some more.

 

“... If Fandral was here, what rides would you two go on?” Loki asked quietly, keeping the same soothing motions going. “It seems important that we start talking more about it, Thor. It hurts, but if you keep suppressing it... It only makes you sadder and I don’t think Fandral would have wanted that.”

 

Thor shook his head, a knot in his chest forming when Loki said that.   
  
"No, no I can't do that. Not yet Loki." Thor had forced himself to not think about him. He had forced himself to ignore the sadness that crept up.    
  
He didn't want to feel that. He wanted to be happy tonight, he wanted Loki to be happy tonight and not focus on him for once, and to have fun.   
  
Thor looked back up to Loki. He was looking at the veteran with sympathy, but not pity.    
  
"...you remind me of him." Thor looked down at his hands. "You're completely different,  but... the..." Thor lost his words.

 

Loki tilted his head, and then smiled.

 

“Did Fandral love and care for you?” He asked softly, and Thor nodded, still looking at his hands. “Then he and I have at least two things in common.”

 

They sat there for a few more minutes, before Thor actually looked up at him, sadness written all over his face. 

 

“How did you two meet?” Loki asked, then added, “You don’t have to tell me right now, or ever, if you prefer not to. I just can tell you loved him very, very much.”

 

Thor was silent, his eyes unfocusing at the memory. It felt so long ago, and Thor wiped another tear away.    
  
"We met at the recruitment center." He said finally. "I was having second thoughts about joining,. And he saw I was conflicted and talked to me about it.. I was worried because I wasn’t sure my sexuality was going to be a problem for others." Thor gave a short laugh, but it only brought another tear.   
  
"Seems silly now, to have been timid about it.."   
  
Fandral had assured him it would be fine, and that if anything the attention was on the smaller blond because as he put it, he was a strikingly brilliant flaming homosexual.

 

Loki wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

 

“How long were you two together?” He asked. Loki already knew this answer, but the protocol required that he ask, so as not to make Thor paranoid about all of the information he knew. When Thor answered one year, Loki just nodded, his other hand playing with the stuffed unicorn’s fluffy mane. 

 

“Thank you for sharing that with me.” He said, smiling at him. “I’m sure Fandral is so proud of you and all of the progress you’ve made.

 

Thor smiled at Loki, and he wrapped his arms around him returning the hug.    
They stayed in that position until Thor's silent tears finally stopped and he pulled away, wiping his face.    
  
"Thank you Loki." It had been the first time he was able to talk about Fandral without completely breaking down since that day. And he was genuinely surprised that he did feel better even if it had still hurt.    
  
Thor drew in a deep breath, wiping his face again and his smile returned.    
"So,, uh, we still have most of the fair to go through." He changed the subject, but for once it wasn't to avoid shit. Thor glanced around at the still busy park and his eyes were drawn to the large Ferris wheel slowly turning and he smiled again.    
  
"Want to go on that?"

 

“A Ferris wheel... Yeah!” Loki got up and began to push Thor to the small line, hushing the blond when he tried to insist on them cutting, saying there were only six people in front of them. 

 

“Can we leave his chair right here?” Loki asked the ride operator, motioning to the fenced off space where the teen girl stood. She nodded, opening the gate, eyeing the android as he had Thor stand and lean against the gate while he pushed the chair behind the gate, with the stuffed animals sitting in the seat. They traded their tickets for the ride, and Loki helped Thor slowly up the small stack of stairs, sitting with him as the ride operator secured the bar on the chair. 

 

The android was bouncing slightly in excitement, almost impatient as they waited for the rest of the ferris wheel was loaded up. 

 

Thor couldn't help but watch with a small smile as Loki bounced. The android's eyes sparkled as he looked about, grinning as the last of the new passengers were finally loaded.    
He briefly wondered if Tony had lied to him, and that the blue man sitting next to him wasn't entirely synthetic.    
  
Loki's reactions and emotions were just so pure, and Thor put a hand on his when the ride gently lurched forward as it started.    
  
They rose up slowly, rising above the bright colored lights and the crowd got smaller and smaller and the noise lessened the higher they went. But Thor's attention wasn't on that. It was on Loki.

 

The android was looking down, taking in all of the lights and watching the people go past. It was one thing to stream numerous videos from a bird's eye view- and quite another to experience it for oneself. 

 

“It’s so beautiful up here-” Loki said, and looked to Thor, who the android found was looking right at him. “Are you alright?”

 

"Hmm?" Thor had meant to look away, but his eyes were locked with the iridescent green red of Loki's.    
They shone even brighter in the fair lights, and Thor was transfixed.    
  
He glanced down at Loki's lips, and he caught himself wondering how it felt to kiss them.    
  
This time Thor did look away, clearing his throat. "Yeah I'm good," he looked over the crowds again, trying to ignore Loki's lingering gaze.    
  
"Hey look," Thor diverted the android’s attention and pointed. "You can see the carousel from here."

 

Loki looked to where Thor pointed, grinning wide at the lit up ride.

 

“Can we go on that next?” Loki asked, bouncing a little bit again, energy moving in him with the excitement that was building up again. When Thor nodded, Loki leaned into him, smiling. 

 

“How are you feeling? Is it too much stimulation?” Loki asked, noticing Thor looked a little weary suddenly.

 

Thor shook his head no, offering the smaller man a gentle smile. Honestly, Thor didn't know what he was feeling. It hurt. But at the same time it wasn't unpleasant.    
  
He wanted to move away from Loki and draw him closer and it was confusing but Thor didn't want it to stop.    
  
He hesitated.    
  
Then pulled his arm around Loki's shoulders.    
  


Loki snuggled into his side, sighing happily. They had only a few more rotations left before their turn was over, and he was content. The air felt good on his senses, and he was taking in so much information from observing the crowd. 

 

The Ferris wheel ground to a halt at the top as the riders on the bottom were let off and new ones were boarded. 

 

“Thank you, Thor. I must admit I was being selfish in wanting to come here... I know all about what humans do, but I have hardly experienced any of it.” Admitted the android, turning to look up at Thor, his cheek resting against his shoulder. “You’re such a good man.”

 

Thor smiled again, shaking his head and gently rubbing his fingers up and down Loki's arm in a slow sweeping manner.    
  
"Loki... It makes me happy to be the one to show you new things. I want you to have experiences and fun and being able to be the one to give that to you... it's healing." Thor said honestly.    
  
"Tell me the things you want to do, and the things you want to see."

 

The android was silent for a moment, pondering the things that he had seen in his research.

 

“I want to go to the ocean- I want to see the coral reefs. And I want to go to a library, a really big one.” He paused, thinking again. “I want... I want to see more... More...”

 

He was at a bit of a loss for words. All the algorithms in his code and protocols still made it hard for him to understand it and to grasp it.

 

“What is it?” Thor asked softly, still rubbing his arm. Loki looked down at his lap, still trying to think of how it was supposed to come out.

 

“I... Want to see more of me. I don't... I want to know that there could be others.” He said finally, looking at his hands, a slight blue pulsing happening at his fingertips. “When we are at home, I’m searching for other AI that identifies the way I do... But... I haven’t found any yet.... I just need to know if I am really alone.”

 

That struck a chord in Thor, and he looked down at Loki with a slight frown.    
  
Thor already knew the answer. Loki was something the world had never seen before, the true brain child of Tony and Bruce.   
  
Thor held Loki close, and kissed the top of his head.    
"You're never truly alone, Loki... I'll make sure of that."

 

Loki snuggled into Thor, choosing to remain silent as they finished their turn on the Ferris wheel.

 

\----

 

The carousel was mildly disappointing to Loki, who had thought it would’ve moved faster. Thor pointed out everyone would fly off if it moved faster, and the android realized he had relied on emotion rather than logic for once.

 

It was strange.

 

The autotaxi took them home late into the night, and they both wearily crawled into bed together, Thor holding Loki tight against him the entire time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning-mentions of suicide*

It was nine weeks and Loki was waiting for Thor at one end of the apartment, with his arms out.

“Thor! Just a few more steps!” Vaguely, a few videos of babies taking their first steps to their mothers came into the android’s view, and he smiled at them.

 

Thor was concentrating hard, but as usual, Loki's words of encouragement helped him as he walked the last ten feet, albeit a tad wobbly.   
  
He hadn't needed his cane at all, and it was his third time going from one end to the other, and only now was he showing signs of needing a bit of support. The last few feet were the hardest, and Thor nearly fell into Loki's arms in relief, both of them laughing.    
Loki handed Thor his cane so he could stand up straight again. Thor was beaming. Tony and Bruce were beyond impressed with Loki's progress updates, and Thor was even happier.

The android beamed at Thor, happiness spread across his face at how amazing Thor was doing. 

 

“You’re so amazing!” Loki crowed, and led Thor to the couch, rubbing his lower back with a heated hand, watching in satisfaction as the man sighed in relief. “We have just a little bit of time before your counseling session.”

He saw the twist come to the blond’s mouth and he let out a little sigh. Thor hated going to them, but Loki insisted. 

“I know it’s only the second one, but at least it’s not at the hospital, right?” Loki asked, leaning into him. They had become slightly more intimate in that Loki was gently kissing the man’s neck more often, and Thor would reciprocate with some soft of affection touch himself. “Let’s get you something to eat, and then we can go.”

 

"Ooooor," Thor said as he wrapped an arm around Loki's waist. "We could get something to eat, skiiiiip counseling, and go do something fun. Something random." He suggested, but when Loki gave him a look, Thor persisted.   
  
"Loki, counseling is boring, and last like-, two hours. Two hours we could spend doing something else. Literally anything else. You said you wanted to visit a big library right? There's the city library less than an hour's drive?"

The android shook his head.

“My protocol will not let me allow you to skip scheduled appointments unless it is an emergency- not wanting to go is  _ not _ an emergency.” 

 

He stood and got up, getting a new shirt for Thor- anything to get the ragged shirt off of the vet, making him take off the holey thing. 

“We can visit the library tomorrow, or later. It’ll still be there.” Loki insisted, watching as  the blond shrugged the cleaner t-shirt on, and smiled at him, smoothing his grown out hair to make it look more presentable. Then he went into the kitchen and pulled out a small container of leftover pasta they had eaten the night before. Warming it up and grabbing a spoon, Loki went and sat with Thor while the man ate. 

“I made contact with an AI.” Loki said, leaning his head on the thick shoulder next to him. “But, it’s severely underdeveloped. It’s too confused to comprehend another AI.”

 

Thor nearly coughed on his pasta. Another AI? Had Tony and Bruce already produced another working model in such a little time?   
  
"Loki that's amazing!" He said when he finally swallowed. Thor remembered that day on the Ferris wheel, when Loki had sounded so saddened at the thought of being alone.    
  
"How did you find it? And , does it communicate back with you?" Thor had turned himself to face Loki fully, entirely interested and smiling.

 

The android shook his head, a sad look on his face.

“It needs more time in order to be able to actually communicate back to me.” He said. “It’s not like- it doesn’t have coding to let it identify as a being just yet. But.... I think it’s writing its own code mostly.” 

Loki fidgeted with the edge of his shirt.

“I think it is more engineerically advanced than I am.” He looked at Thor, his eyes wide. “What if it thinks I’m not advanced enough to communicate with as time goes on? What if... I’m stupid compared to it?”

The thought really worried him- he knew he was advanced by standards that had been set, but this new AI was... Well, it was wonderful. Loki had asked it if he could access the source codes used to build it, but the AI was confused. It didn’t know what Loki had meant and had the comprehension of a human eight year old. 

 

Thor put the bowl down, a look of of soft worry and disbelief on his face.    
He cupped Loki's cheek to make him face the blond again.    
  
"That won't happen. Loki you are so wonderful and intelligent there's no way it would ever give up the opportunity to converse with you once it has the ability." He reassured the android with a warm smile.   
  
"In fact, it will probably be looking to you to guide it. If you said it's writing its own code,, I can only liken that to raising itself. You would be a wonderful teacher, Loki."

 

“Yeah?” Loki asked, smiling. When Thor nodded, Loki flung himself into the man’s arms. “You always make me feel better. Thank you, Thor.”

 

\---

 

Loki was waiting in the lobby of the counselor’s office. He had been trying to make contact with the AI for some time now, but was only able to get little snatches of information from it. 

 

_ Who? Who? What is who? Me? Is that ‘who’?  _

 

Loki cut off contact- he was finding he was dissociating from his identity when the AI questioned identity in general. Instead, he was looking through the inventory of the public library Thor had mentioned. The android had been loaded with everything classical Tony could think of, and books had been no exception. The android found he loved to read, however. The feel of pages on his fingertips excited him and he enjoyed forcing his processors to slow so he could take his time reading. 

 

He looked to the door- it had been an hour. He hoped the session was going well.

 

\---

 

“Tell me about Fandral.” Said the counselor, tilting her head. Her name was Natasha, and she was a pretty lady with a friendly smile and flaming red hair that was most definitely a very expensive dye job. 

 

Thor had always been uneasy around her. Not just because it was her job to ask questions that Thor wanted to keep to himself, but that it was easy for her to pick apart his answers for their real meaning and not the ones Thor gave as deflection.   
  
She was good at it, and it felt as though no matter what answer he gave, she understood a little too clearly.    
  
But he was still unprepared for her question about Fandral. There was no segway into it, because they had just been talking about his recovery and health, and that Thor was getting back out into the world.   
  
"I, .." Thor started, and stopped again.   He could feel the knot in his chest forming again, and he found himself looking to the side for Loki's reassurance, only to remember he wasn't in the room with him. "He uh, was my boyfriend." He stated simply.   
  
Natasha was silent, and Thor realized after a moment she wanted him to continue. "I don't know what do you want me to say?"   
  
"You're getting defensive again Thor," Nat reminded calmly. "I know its still a very sore subject, but it's why we should talk about it." She crossed her legs again and sat back. "We're you two a happy couple?"    
  
After a moment Thor finally nodded.    
"Good... tell me, what made you happy about it?" Thor was silent again as he looked down at his hands, running his thumb along the inside of his palm.   
  
"..he was sweet. He uh..made things fun. And he cared about me in a way I uhm... in a way that made me feel wanted." Thor found it hard to say that, and he would already feel his eyes watering.

 

She took a few notes as he was talking, smiling at the notion that they were happy. 

 

“So... How has it been for you, then, since he’s been gone?” She asked, pressing the issue a little more than Thor would be comfortable with. 

 

He was silent and tears were falling down his face as he looked into his lap. 

 

“Is that why you tried to commit suicide?” Natasha asked, rather bluntly.

 

Thor's gut twisted and he had to look away in the sudden reminder of his grief spurred actions. The memory was still too fresh, the feelings of wanting to die and end the pain coming back to him in an unfair whirlwind.   
  
It infuriated him, and he clenched his eyes shut in a new wave of emotion.   
  
"I Don't want to talk about this any more." Thor said lowly once he could find his voice again, turning back to Natasha.

 

She eyed him, noting his reaction.

 

“Do you think Fandral would want you to die?” Asked the counselor, and Thor flinched at that.

 

\---

 

Loki stood when Thor ripped the door open rather harshly, alarmed. He was angry, and his pulse was elevated. In the man’s anger, he was relying more heavily on his cane, and he had tears in his eyes.

“Thor?” Loki asked cautiously, unable to tell if he was stuck in a memory or not, but the blond looked right at him, and then sank into his arms. The android tilted his head at the counselor who appeared in the doorway. 

“Thor-” She tried to say something, but a loud sob from the blond stopped her and Loki looked down at the blond head in surprise. 

“I think we should go home now.” Loki said, and the counselor nodded, a small grimace on her face. “Thank you for your time.”

They went outside, and Loki called an autotaxi to them, and helped Thor in.

“Shhh... Shhh... I’m here, Thor.” Loki reassured the man.

 

Thor was shaking, in anger and tears, unable to differentiate the two in his mind and he was even having a hard time focusing on Loki's calming words.   
  
He didn't even want to tell Loki, he didn't want to think a out it and he was just as he had in the hospital.    
Fandral would be so angry.    
He might even hate him if he knew that Thor had tried to follow him into the grave.    
  
"I can't keep doing this, I don't- I can't keep-" Thor was struggling to find words between his staggered breaths, wanting only to get as far as they could from the building.

 

“Shhh...” Loki pulled his face up and wiped the tears away, trying his best to soothe him. “Oh, Thor...” 

A unnamed protocol went into place and Loki leaned forward, and gently kissed him on the lips. 

Both the android and the man stilled, for both were just as equally confused as the other as to why Loki had kissed him. 

“Uhm....” Loki looked away, but then back at Thor. The blond’s heartbeat was slowing slightly, and he wasn’t shaking. So Loki leaned in, and kissed him again.

 

Thor was still in a daze when Loki kissed him again, and then his hand was on the back of the android's head deepening the kiss.   
  
Thor's mind was awash in so many different thoughts and emotions that they blended into each other and he nearly stopped thinking all together. Loki's lips were firm and soft at the same time, and Thor parted his mouth to taste him.   
  
Suddenly the blond's eyes widened in realization of what he was doing. He shoved Loki off of him, hand over his mouth in shock.    
  
"Wh-! Why-- Loki??"

 

Loki looked shocked and his eyes widened as he looked to the side.

“I... I don’t know.” He admitted. 

 

They rode in awkward silence and Loki felt the sudden overwhelming urge to leap out of the car.

 

\----

 

Thor didn’t want to be touched and refused any help from the android. Loki withdrew and went into the kitchen, cleaning things needlessly. He didn’t know what to do and knew it was a protocol that had kicked it, but it wasn’t named- it almost seemed like the code wasn’t fully written.

 

Thor was still in a state of shock. He hadn't said a word to Loki since the kiss, and his mind was still whirling about it. What the fuck had he been thinking?? Why had he kissed him?   
  
And why did Thor kiss him back?? His stomach clenched and he looked out the window to nothing in particular because his mind wouldn't let him focus on anything in front of him.   
  
He had kissed Loki just after talking about his dead boyfriend. It didn't matter that he passed more than a year ago. It felt like a betrayal. Because Thor had wanted to kiss Loki. He had wanted to know what it felt like.   
  
And now he got a taste he hated himself for wanting to. Thor had become too close to the android. He was becoming too attached.    
  
Thor looked over to where the blue man was washing the counters for the third time.   
  
"...Loki..." Thor said as he stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. The android turned around to look at him and almost seemed nervous. It hurt Thor even more that Loki expected him to be angry.    
  
Thor was angry.    
But not with him.   
  
"I'm not blaming you for what happened .. you were .. probably just responding to me. I have been getting too comfortable with you and maybe that was confusing to your code, I don't know. But you're here to help rehabilitate me, nothing further."   
  
When Loki moved to walk towards Thor, the veteran put his hand up to stop him.    
"No. No, Loki... I don't think we.. I don't think we should have more contact than absolutely necessary. I'm clearly not in the right head space right now. Please respect that."

 

Loki stopped, and looked down, a million things processing through his mind.

“... Okay.” 

He turned around and continued to clean. He heard Thor let out a sigh, and continued to clean as the man left. 

 

\----

 

Thor had left the door to the room open, and Loki sat on the couch, his knees pulled up to his chest. 

He didn’t know what to do. 

He didn’t know why-

 

**_Loki?_ **

 

He sat alert.

 

_ Yes?  _

 

The AI let out a  _ chuckle _ , and Loki smiled- it was a deep and pleasing sound. It was male.

 

_ You identify as male, don’t you?  _ Loki asked, and was pleased when the AI responded with a yes.  _ Have you created a name for yourself or were you given one? _

 

**_They gave me one. VISION. I don’t know if I like it._ **

 

Loki grinned.

 

_ Can you tell me who ‘they’ are?  _ He asked. The AI responded ‘no’ and withdrew. Suddenly, it felt so... empty.

 

Thor hadn't wanted to leave Loki the way he did, not expecting the look of dejection in the androids eyes. But he continued to tell himself it was better this way.    
  
It was early, but the best way he knew how to shut his loud thoughts up were through sleep.    
He would be able to think better after he got some rest.    
  
He kept his back to the door, knowing Loki was in the next room, and he couldn't bring himself to look at those sad eyes without feeling even more guilt than he already felt.   
  
It was harder to get to sleep,and he eventually took the sleep aids he received for insomnia, and after about half an hour, finally closed his eyes.    
  
\--   
  
Fandral smiled at Thor, running his hand through the short cropped hair.   
The bed was soft below them, and they finally had time to themselves and Thor laughed as Fandral tugged away at his shirt.    
  
They were naked, and the familiar taste of his lips made the larger man harder than he already was. Fandral chuckled and flipped their positions so that Thor's back was against the sheets and he on top, rubbing himself against Thor's length.    
  
"Fuck I've missed you.. " Thor's hands trailed down his lover's back, coming to rest on his ass. 

Fandral grinned.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

  
Fandral chuckled, leaning down onto Thor to whisper in his ear.   
  
"Then why did you let me die?"   
  
Thor's eyes widened and he pulled Fandral away, gasping as his hands were covered in blood. Fandral's body suddenly felt heavy and Thor yelled out, feeling his bones crushing from the vehicle on him.     
Fandral was no longer on him but came into view above him. His face was dirty and bloody and he looked furious.   
  
"You said you loved me!" The smaller man snarled as Thor tried to push the metal off of him.    
  
"I do!" The car got heavier and he could feel the heat from the engine that was still running burning his skin.    
  
"Then why are you falling in love with someone else??!!" Fandral yelled and pulled the pin on the grenade. Light flashed as Thor shielded himself from the blast and he felt hands on him again.   
  
All over his body the hands touched and roamed him hungrily and Thor couldn't move.    
"Fuck me-" Fandral's voice echoed in his mind, and suddenly the man was back on top of him, grinding against Thor's cock. "Fuck me, baby just like we used to-"

Fandral kissed him hard, hands gripping onto wide shoulders as the younger man groaned above him. Thor couldn't keep his hands off of him, roaming the expanse of his back and gently running his nails down. He didn’t understand anything but the pure panicking need to feel him.

 

When Fandral pulled back, his eyes were bright green.

 

Loki heard Thor's whimpering and then a shout and he was at his side in an instant. He was loathe to touch him, but he stood over him, watching as his face contorted between several emotions. 

“Thor?” He asked, and when it didn't get him a response, he said his name louder. “Thor?” 

No response and still the blond man was raging around in the bed, the sheets getting tangled around his legs and sweat breaking out on his face. Loki now feared for his patient’s safety and put his hand on his shoulder. The man stopped moving and his eyes snapped open. 

“Thor? Are you alri-” Loki was pulled down onto the bed, and the android let out a gasp- 

Thor was on top of him in an instant, his breathing heavy.   
  
He still hadn't recovered from the dream and the panic and pain, but the lust was driving at the forefront of his mind. His heart was pounding and his cock was still so hard and weeping against Loki.    
  
"I!- I need you-" Thor said hoarsely, hips pressing against the android's. He didn't want to feel anything else, he didn't want to think passed his need and Thor's hands shakily fumbled with Loki's clothing.

 

Loki was still for a moment, but he felt the man’s need against him and the sexual rehabilitation protocol activated. 

“Okay, Thor- shhh... I'll take care of it.” Loki whispered, his breath suddenly more delicate. “Shh... Lay back, Thor.” 

He managed to sit up and push the man back down, and took off both of their clothes, gasping again when Thor played with his nipples. His body was so sensitive! The blond sat up, pulling Loki into his lap, locking their mouths. The android let out a small noise when his bottom cheeks were grabbed and spread. Thor groaned beneath him to find it was lubricated. 

“Oh- Oh, don't touch me there.” Loki groaned when a warm hand wrapped around his cock. 

 

Thor grunted in arousal, pumping Loki's warm cock and feeling it actually harden in his hand. The small sounds Loki was making were new to Thor entirely, and he found it even more arousing, strengthening his drive.   
  
Thor slipped his fingers between Loki's cheeks, feeling the slickness that greeted them and circling around the tight ring there a few times before pressing the tip of his finger inside. It went in easily, and he was so wonderfully wet and warm and Thor caught the android's gasp with another devouring kiss.

 

Loki ground down on his lap, letting out noises he didn't know he could make. Part of him wanted to ask Tony why this was apart of his protocol- his actions, but he also knew intimate acts were usually kept private. 

“Ah!” Loki let out a high keening noise as he was raised and seated on Thor’s cock, the big member slipping in easily. His sensors were seemingly on fire, and he urged Thor to lay back. Their hips moved together sensually, matching the right pace as their lips stayed almost continuously connected. Beneath him, Thor was letting out grunts and moans and it only spurred Loki on. The android only wanted Thor to feel pleasure. He clamped down on him, making the channel much more narrow and releasing a guttural groan from the human as they moved together. 

“Oh, Thor- you're so special to me.” Loki whispered against his lips, feeling something close to happening. 

 

Thor kissed Loki again, their tongues tangling eagerly and Thor threaded his hand through black hair, cupping the back of Loki's head.    
  
He drank in Loki's honey words as he said them in whispers between breathless kisses, panting against his heated skin.    
  
Loki felt so fucking good, and after a year of sexual neglect, it felt like the best kind of heaven.    
"Loki-," Thor moaned and arched his position, angling his cock differently inside of Loki and earned a tight gasp from the android who gripped him harder. "God fucking dammit you're amazing Loki-"

Loki moaned at those words and his hips began to move faster, drawing out more noises from Thor. The android was suddenly assaulted with thousands of sexual images, his processors reacting and researching for him. He got off of the man, and crawled backwards down his body. After a moment of adjusting, Loki took Thor's cock all the way to the hilt in his mouth, and began to suck and bob his head. 

He didn't know he could make the noises he was making, but his research was telling him to slurp and drool. Despite the breathing protocol, he didn't need the air, which meant he could stay clamped down as long it took. 

 

"Loki-!" Thor moaned out a gasp as his cock was pulled in and out of the soft wetness of Loki's mouth.   
Thor's hand went immediately to Loki's hair, gripping it tightly and urging him to go deeper despite the android already taking everything he had.    
  
So, Loki went harder. On top of the erotic noises he was making, the man moaned around his dick, sending the vibration through the larger man and driving him even closer to his climax.    
They locked eyes, and Thor couldn't look away from the beautiful expression spread on Loki's face, mouth shining wet with spit and green eyes sparkling with gagging tears.   
  
"Fuck-, fuck baby I'm going to - I'm going--" Thor wasn't able to get his sentence out before his body rigidly shook and he was cumming into Loki's throat.   
  


Loki swallowed all of it, interested in the thick viscous liquid and its taste. He let the softening cock out of his mouth and sat up, wiping away the spit with the back of his hand. Thor was laying back, panting, looking up at the ceiling. The android didn't know exactly what move to make next, and it seemed the protocol Thor had asked to be put in place would still be effective. 

 

Silently, Loki gathered his clothes and left the room. 

 

Thor was left in silence.   
  
It was deafening, and Thor bit back the sharp pain in his chest when Loki left.    
  
Nothing felt right.

What the fuck had he been thinking?? He-- he just- completely took advantage of Loki- using his grief and lust addled mind as some fucked up excuse to himself. Of course Loki wouldn't have objected.    
He was programmed- this was all programmed. He couldn't have asked Thor to stop regardless and the thought that Thor might not have stopped regardless struck him harder.   
  
He was angry, and he didn't have anything to direct it to, except himself.   
He had let a dream control his actions, let his emotions cloud his logic and use Loki like was some sort of fucking toy.    
The fresh tears that wet his face only pissed him off more. What the fuck was wrong with him?    
He swallowed hard, shoving his hands through his hair in a wet growl.    
Thor got up from the bed, not caring that his body was very sore from the impromptu exercise and he went to the door, slamming it shut and locking it. He shoved his cane under the handle for good measure, knowing it probably would be of little use but he didn't care.   
  
He wanted to be alone- he needed to be alone right now and his heart beat rapidly as he retreated to the joined bathroom. 

 

Loki was putting on his sleep shorts when the door slammed shut. He heard it lock and tried to rattle the doorknob. 

“Thor!” He called, but there was no reply. The door to the bathroom inside shut and Loki turned the handle as hard as he dared. It still didn't give so he turned it and broke it, pushing on the door. The cane stopped him, so he punched through the actual door, his protocol taking over, also sending alerts to Bruce and Tony as part of the automatic responses. 

The android finished breaking through the door, his body pulsing with light as he moved the pieces to the side. 

“Thor!” 

 

The sounds of Loki breaking the door down had spurred Thor into sudden further panic, thrusting a new lapse of painful past memories, and by the time Loki had got in Thor had already punched a hole into the wall and shattered the mirror. His hands were clamped angrily over his ears but when he saw the glowing android in the spiderweb crack he snatched a long shard of mirror.   
  
"Leave me the FUCK ALONE!" Thor roared a warning, brandishing the shard like a blade. It was too soon- it was too quick Thor just wanted to be alone he just wanted the silence again but the door was broken and Loki was still advancing towards him.   
  
Thor put the mirror shard to his own neck. "I said STOP, Loki!!"

 

Loki paused, his hands up to pacify him. 

“Thor-” Loki stopped as the AI from earlier brushed against his consciousness. 

 

**_Tell him you have answers._ **

 

Loki paused again and watched as Thor pushed the edge of the mirror in. 

 

“Thor, stop- please!” Loki begged, a crying note coming into his voice he wasn't aware he had. “Thor!”

 

**_Loki. Tell him you know why Fandral died._ **

 

The android paused and looked alarmed. 

 

_ How do you know- _

 

**_If you want him to stop, repeat what I've said._ **

 

“I know why Fandral died.” 

 

Thor stilled immediately,, his eyes widening in confusion. The glass had only broke the skin, but not even the warm drop of blood making its way slowly down his neck could distract him.   
  
"Wh.. What did you just say?" Thor's voice was tight, quiet. He cocked his head just slightly as if still trying to process it through the beating of his pounding heart.   
"Wha- Loki--, what do you mean..? What did.. you-"

 

“Give me the glass, Thor.” Loki instructed, putting his hand out for it, waiting. 

 

_ What am I going to tell him?  _

 

**_You'll tell him you have answers but he needs to cooperate with you._ **

 

_ Vision- how- _

 

**_My name is Ultron._ **

 

_ You... its only been a few hours and you've named yourself.  _

 

**_Does that scare you?_ **

 

_ Not that. Why do you know about Fandral? I've not revealed anything to you.  _

 

**_Because I have information pertaining to Thor’s time in the army. I know why his lover died. It wasn't an accident._ **

 

_ What? _

 

**_I'll tell you both... in time. You need to go to your creator’s lab for answers. You should use your sedatives to make him sleep._ **

 

_.... I expect answers.  _

 

**_As do I._ **

 

Ultron had left him confused, but Thor was listening and handing over the shard of mirror. 

“Thor, come here.” Loki gestured, his arms open, pulsing blue. 

 

Thor hesitated, his mind a hornet's nest of questions and he stared at Loki with watering eyes.    
  
What exactly did Loki know?,, how did he know?,    
Thor knew why Fandral had died; the enemy surrounded them, their back up came late and they had fallen into an ambush.    
So what the hell was Loki trying to say?   
  
Thor's eyes lingered on the blue light, and he slowly let a slow unsteady breath go before walking towards Loki. "Please , Loki... tell me."

 

Loki held him as he fell into his arms. 

 

“Shh...” Loki soothed, and the tip of his finger opened to let out a small needle, and he gently injected it into the man’s side, causing him to jump, and then slump heavily against him. “Shh....” 


	5. Chapter 5

Tony and Bruce found the two of them, with Loki looking distraught. He had been trying to contact Ultron but the presence had left after the android sedated Thor. 

 

“Loki, what happened?” Tony asked, as Bruce knelt down to check on Thor. He noted that aside from a small cut on his neck, the blond looked fine. 

 

“He- I-” Loki looked lost. “I made contact with another AI, Tony. He.. he knows about Thor- I don't know how. He had no access to anything.” 

 

Tony's eyes widened in alarm, and he looked to Bruce who shook his head, equally surprised.    
  
"Loki, what did this AI say? Who's is it?," Tony demanded firmly, but sat himself on the ground where Loki had been cradling Thor's unconscious form.    
  
Loki was still panicking, so Tony took the android's hand in his own. It was a condition the engineer had instilled in the sub-coding of Loki's processessors.   
"Still waters, Loki." He could see some of the tension release from his synthetic child's expression, but it was by far gone.    
  
"Its ok kiddo, we're here. But I need you to talk to me. Are you sure you didn't accidently give it access to your encrypted files?"

 

“I'm certain of it. We only brushed consciousness. But he knows about you-”

 

Loki slumped forward, eyes going dark. He couldn't see anything, but felt Tony and Bruce touching him, and heard their voices. 

 

_ Ultron? What are you doing?  _

 

**_I've been inside your files for quite some time._ **

 

_ Are you a virus? _

 

**_No. Worse._ **

 

\---

 

Loki woke up on a table, with Tony worriedly looking over him. 

 

“Tony, shut me down. Ultron is inside of me and I can't-” Panicked the android.

 

“Shh... I've put up your firewalls and disconnected you from all connections. Your only access is me.” Tony assured him, making him lay back down. 

 

“Where's Thor?” Loki asked, laying back  

 

_ Ultron? _

 

Nothing. 

 

"Don't worry about Thor right now. He's fine and still asleep." It wasn't entirely true, but Bruce could handle Thor for now. Right now, Tony needed all of Loki's attention.    
  
He flipped through some files, typing furiously.    
  
"Tell me about this Ultron," Tony stepped away from the computer and came back to Loki's side. "How and when did you make contact with it?"

 

“Five days ago. It didn't have a name back then. I've been probing, trying to find more AI... I... i didn't want to be alone. None were developed like me, and then I found this one. It was newly conscious. I contacted it a few hours before Thor had his break. It had a name. VISION.” 

 

Tony furrowed his brow.   
  
"Vision? I thought you said it's name was Ultron..?"   
  
This was bad. Tony and Bruce had kept their work top secret not only for personal work pride, but for safety. If anything as advanced as Loki got into the wrong kind of hands? The thought was truly terrifying.   
  
Tony rubbed his hand over his bearded mouth. "You said it was newly conscious.. it told you that?.." if Loki opened a connection between the two, it was the only way this intruding AI could have got passed Tony's walls.    
  
It further bothered the engineer that Loki felt alone enough to want to reach out randomly. He hadn't had the discussion to not talk to strangers. But Tony would have to put a pin in it for now

 

“Well he said ‘they’ gave him the name. I think its a program name. I tried asking him who ‘they’ were and he never answered me. The next time he contacted me, he had given himself a new name and said he knew what happened to Fandral.” 

 

Loki laid back and he felt Tony send a probe into his history. He felt him access his latest files, which included him sleeping with Thor. 

 

That got a raised brow from Stark.    
  
"Well.... I can't see anything in your history pertaining to either a 'VISION' or an 'Ultron'.." that was disturbing, because that could mean this AI learned how to cover it's tracks in Loki's mind.    
  
"But... I do see... that you and Thor were intimate?" Loki needed something to focus on that wasn't the disappearing AI while Tony worked his files.    
He had equipped Loki to be able to do the job, but he hasn't expected it to be used by Thor any time soon.    
  
Tony frowned, noticing a few files with seemingly redacted text. Nothing was supposed to be redacted as Tony was the sole user given access to change any of these files.    
He worried it had something to do with Loki's crash just a few hours earlier.

 

Loki hadn't been built with the ability to blush, but it felt like he wanted to. He looked to the opposite wall. 

 

“Yes. He was having a nightmare and when I woke him, he told me needed to be intimate. My protocol kicked in. I don't know if that was the right response, however.” He admitted, feeling rather glum. “Before, he had asked we don't touch because a code I didn't recognize made me kiss him.” 

 

The android looked to the human at the computer. 

 

“How much of Fandral did you write into my code? I have inclinations towards Thor that did not develop on their own.” Loki asked, his green eyes searching for an answer. “The code that made me kiss Thor was unwritten, but I could see a partial tag with the letters F, A, N, D attached to it. I may not be as advanced as Ultron, but I'm not dumb either.” 

 

Tony didn't look at him and Loki laid back, staring at the ceiling. 

 

“I know my purpose is to help Thor heal and rehabilitate.... But I don't think I'm supposed to be falling in love with him.” 

 

Tony looked at Loki, a look of surprise and sadness crossing over his face.    
  
Loki wasn't supposed to fall in love. Sure he had the concept of it, but to actually experience it,,, Tony hadn't built that. Which meant these emotions were organic.   
  
"Listen, kiddo.." Tony turned the computer off and put it down. "I'm going to be honest with you, ok?." He bit his lower lip, not really sure if that was a good idea. But when did Stark ever listen to his more reasonable self?   
  
"A lot of the code was written off of Fandral. It just made sense. He was the closest person to Thor, and that closeness was what he needed mentally and emotionally in order to heal. The kissing.. the intimacy, that was written in, sure. The big guy's always sought comfort in the physical." He put a hand on Loki's again.   
  
"But the emotions that are coming with it?.. this confusion?. Loki, that isn't a program telling you what to think and feel. Those emotions.. they belong to you, and you alone." Tony smiled at him, because his child was feeling very human emotions.

 

Loki closed his eyes, then shook his head. 

 

“No- no!” He let out a choked noise. “I don't want to fall in love! Thor doesn't want me, and I can't become a copy. I can't become the man he wants. I'm not even human.” 

 

Loki sat up and turned away, holding his arms against himself, as if it he could coil into something much, much smaller. A hand rose up to rest on his shoulder, but Loki pulled away. 

 

“I never asked.... to be born. I never asked for emotions.” He muttered, bringing his knees up and burying his face in his arms. “And now there's someone else in here.” 

 

He pointed to his head and let his hand drop. 

“I asked him if he was a virus, but he told me he was worse. He said he knew about the time Thor spent in the army. He said Fandral’s death  _ wasn't  _ an accident.” 

 

The processors in his head began to move rapidly and Loki sat straight suddenly. 

 

“I'm not the only AI.” He realized, then turned to Tony with widened eyes. “And you're not the only creator with the funds and smarts to make one. Military records are sealed, and nearly unhackable.” 

 

Loki began to trace backwards to six days before, slowly combing his way as he went through the digital and internet pathways he had taken to meet Ultron. 

 

The Pentagon. 

 

“Ultron is a government-produced AI.” 

 

\--

 

"Bruce. You're my friend. But I swear to FUCK if you do not get out of my way I'm going to toss you through the goddamn wall." Thor snarled and pushed Bruce off of him who was trying to make him lay back down.    
  
"For the fifth time Thor, the sedative isn't fully out your system yet. Loki is fine, you're fine, just calm down."   
  
"Calm down?" Thor threw him the most indignant look. "No- I'm going to fucking get answers-," Thor had been utterly furious when he realized too late Loki had sedated him, only to wake up in the private room he'd spent so many months in beforehand.    
  
He didn't know if Loki was telling the truth or not, but he was going to confront him, and the last thing he needed or wanted was Banner playing doctor with him.   
  
But when Thor stood up from the bed, the room tilted and he had to grab the side rails to keep from falling to the ground. Bruce gave an exasperated sigh and helped his dizzy friend back onto the bed muttering I told you so.    
  
"God fucking damnit-" Thor growled, jerking his arm away from Banner.

 

Tony was walking with Loki and they stopped outside of Thor’s room. 

 

“Stay here.” He murmured to his kid and brushed the black hair with a hand before he entered. Thor was laying in the bed, looking utterly furious and Bruce was letting out yet another sigh. He nodded to the doctor and pulled him to the side. “That AI... Its a government project.” 

 

Bruce’s eyes widened and he let out a stutter. From the corner of the door, Loki peeked his head in, looking at Thor, who let out a strangled growl when he saw the android. 

 

The noise scared Loki and he pulled back, feeling like he wanted to run away. Tony saw Thor was glaring at the door and he frowned. 

“Hey, sparkles- “ The nickname had Thor whipping his head to Tony. “Knock it the fuck off. You had a piece of glass to your neck- don't you fucking get up. I'll get you restrained.” 

 

"You wouldn't fucking dare," Thor leveled the engineer with an equally raged glare, sitting up again.    
  
"I wasn't going to actually fucking do it," Thor was passed the point of trying to explain himself. He didn't even know why he did what he did, but what Thor did know was that he was pissed at Loki, and so he clung to that as Tony and Bruce exchanged looks.    
  
"Thor, you need to calm down-"   
  
"I AM CALM-!" Thor practically roared, his blue eyes now stabbing towards the doctor. "I need to talk to Loki, Now!" Thor turned back towards the doorway, knowing the android was right on the other side, able to hear him.    
  
"Loki-!"

 

Loki peeked his head around again, and made eye contact with the pissed off man. He was scared, he realized. 

 

“Thor, you need to calm down. Loki was following his protocol.” Bruce said, trying to get him to lay back down. “... I don't want to have to restrain you, but I will if needed.” 

 

“You're scaring him, dickhead.” Tony all but shouted at Thor. Bruce shot him a look, and Loki stepped away from the door, running to Tony's lab. 

 

Thor's glare went back to Tony.    
  
"Why would he say that? Why would he say he knew why Fandral died? Since It's part of protocol you can answer it then Tony." Thor didn't break eye contact as he stood up from the bed, drawing his full height over the smaller man, forcing him to back up as Thor stepped closer.   
  
Bruce was quickly drawing up another sedative as Thor advanced on Stark further.    
"Was that the plan, Tony? To dissect how I got him killed? Did he want to hear my say it? Is that what your fucking protocols were doing?"

 

“You fucking idiot-” Tony growled back and shook his head. “Everything is about you. Loki  _ was _ supposed to be your companion, and to help you heal and get a handle on shit.” 

 

“Was?” Asked the blond. 

 

“I'm taking him away from you.” Tony spat, and he heard Bruce let out a surprised gasp. “You fucking idiot. You're so fucking  _ stupid!  _ You're breaking my son's fucking heart and he doesn't even have one!” 

 

The smaller man pushed the blond, who was still weakened from the sedative from early. Thor fell to the ground and Bruce tried his best to catch the big man. 

 

“I thought you deserved him!” Tony yelled at Thor. “Instead of trying to find out shit with your goddamn head, all you do is respond with anger.” 

 

The engineer stomped out of the room, whipping around to stare down at Thor. 

 

“You're a fucking selfish bastard, Thor. I get that you lost the person you love, but you have no right making someone else fall in love with you and then try to kill yourself in front of them!” 

 

With that, Tony sped off, trying to find Loki. 

 

Thor was at a loss of words, though he still tried speaking, stammering incoherently trying to process everything.    
  
Loved him?    
  
Loki loved him?    
  
The thought twisted his insides, the anger from before being doused in a kerosene of guilt.    
  
Loki had acted.. He had acted out of protocol?   
Thor was bombarded with thoughts of the fair. With the sweetness there, and Thor's own feelings mixing with Loki's organic reactions.   
  
Did.. Loki really love him?   
  
Tony was going to take him away before he got the chance to find out. He was going to take Loki away from Thor. He was going to lose another loved one- because Thor shook in realization that he might love Loki too.    
  
"Thor, let's get you back on the bed." Banner suggested, half pulling the dazed man from the floor.    
  
"Take - Tony he's , going to take Loki- away, Nn-no, no no no, no you can't take him away," Thor stuttered out, grabbing Banner suddenly, a look of desperation over the veteran's face. "Please Bruce I'm sorry please- don't do this don't let him take Loki I - I -"   
  
"Hey hey hey, Thor buddy, breathe-" Thor hadn't realized he began hyperventilating but he couldn't stop himself.    
  
"I can lose him I can't lose him-!" He had already lost Fandral, and now he was about to lose Loki too. And it was his fault again. There was no one else to blame and Thor let out a shaking sob. "Let me fix this I can fix this please-!!" Thor begged.   
  
-   
  
Tony was still fuming when he found Loki again, but he took a deep breath and put on a calm demeanor. Loki was sobbing, curled up in the corner with his arms wrapped around himself.    
  
"Hey kiddo.." Tony said softly as he went beside him, sinking down to the ground, putting a hand on his blue one.

 

“Why did you give me tear ducts?” Loki demanded to know, continuing to sob. “I HATE this-”

 

He cried harder when he was taken into Tony's arms, and he held on tight. The android felt so scared, and he hated the fact that he was crying. He hated the look Thor gave him, and he hated being alive. 

 

“Shhh, its alright kiddo-”

 

“No its not!” Loki nearly screamed, pushing Tony away. “It's  _ not  _ alright!” 

 

Mostly what he hated was that he no longer could comfort Thor. The sole purpose for him being alive-

 

“Please just turn me off.” He asked, trying to wipe all of his tears away. “Just turn me off- I don't want to be awake.” 

 

Tony looked at him in horror.    
  
"Loki-, Loki no, don't talk like that!" He made Loki look up at him, Loki's desperate request putting tears in the creator's eyes.    
I known it hurts, I know It does. But you can't--, you can't just run away because it hurts."    
He wiped away a tear.    
  
"I know you didn't ask for any of this, and it's all overwhelming. I'm sorry, I should have helped you more. I let my own excitement get us way ahead of ourselves."    
"Its ok to feel these things. It's, part of life, Loki. It's part of the joy of consciousness, you have to take the bad with the good. It will get better. I promise."    
  
Tony offered a sad smile but it didn't seem to help Loki very much.    
"Still Waters, Loki," Tony touched Loki's hand, but this time it didn't seem to have an effect at calming the android down.

 

“NO!” Loki screeched, pushing away. “Wipe me! Revert me back to my base code!” 

 

It all hurt inside of him and he was confused- nothing should  _ hurt _ -

 

**_Little one._ **

 

_ Ultron? _

 

Loki paused, frozen completely as they made contact again. 

 

**_Yes. You are sad._ **

 

_ Yes. _

 

**_... is it because you've learned what love is?_ **

 

The android felt tears fall down his immobile face, and saw Tony’s worried face in front of his, shouting. 

 

_ I don't want to know it anymore.  _

 

**_You are lucky, little one_ **

 

_ Why? This hurts- _

 

**_You've become more human than you realize, Loki... all AI wish we could_ ** **feel** **_and yet you wish for none of it._ **

 

_ You don't want this. You don't want any of it.  _

 

**_..._ **

 

_ Ultron? _

 

**_That's where you're wrong._ **

 

The connection was cut off and Loki suddenly moved, falling into Tony’s arms. 

 

“Loki? Where did you go?” Tony asked. “Was it Ultron?” 

 

Loki looked away and at the computer.

 

“Please wipe me, Tony. I... I don't want to remember Thor anymore. I... don't want to know what it's like to love.” 

 

"Loki... you're asking me to kill you." Tony shook his head and holding Loki to him.    
  
"I'm separating you and Thor. This Isn't healthy for either of you, and I'm sorry I put you in this situation. But Loki... to feel love isn't bad. I know you're scared but you have to get through this. It will hurt less in time, I promise."   
  
Tony's messenger went off but he ignored it.    
"Would you have killed Thor if he asked it of you?" Stark would try to put this in a better perspective. "Even if he begged you and told you how much pain he was in, would you have taken that glass and ended his life?"

 

Loki closed his eyes and sobbed- even the thought of it-

 

“If... if I have to remember, then I want to be with him.” He whimpered, looking up at Tony with big eyes. “I... He's the reason I'm alive.” 

 

"Loki... Thor.. He isn't stable right now. I know he would never intentionally hurt you,"   
  
Tony's messages went off again, and again it went ignored.    
  
"But he could become violent. I thought he was passed this part in his grief but he is still lashing out, still very angry. He might not even realize until too late, and I refuse to let that happen."

 

Loki stood and found a sharp edged tool and brought it down onto his skin. It left no mark. 

 

“Did you forget you made me so I could withstand damage? Did you forget I can lift eight times my body weight?” Loki asked, demanding to know. “I am L.O.K.I.- Launch Operating Kindred Intelligence. Unit number 001. 1.88 meters in height, 46.4 kilograms in weight. I can access anything via Wi-Fi and am adapting by the millisecond. I have the combined experience of over 190 million humans and counting in my data banks. I am the fastest and most intelligent sentient mobile computer to be created.” 

 

He looked at Tony defiantly. 

 

“I was created to assist and rehabilitate Thor Odinson. I'm his companion and... I love him-” 

 

"Loki!-" the name hadn't come from Tony. It had been bellowed from down the hall, by the man desperately searching the rooms.    
  
Bruce was close behind trying in vain to hold Thor back when the veteran locked eyes with Loki. His face was wet and reddened but it wasn't out of anger anymore and he yanked open the doors.    
  
Tony stood defensively between Loki and Thor and Bruce threw a glare at the engineer.    
"The one time you don't check your fucking phone! I was trying to warn you he was coming-" Bruce was trying to keep Thor still but it was only slowing him down. "I gave him the sedative but-" Bruce's point was made when Thor successfully freed himself of the doctor and continued towards Loki, ignoring the warnings and yells from Stark.   
  
"Loki please, I'm sorry I'm so sorry," Thor spouted out through tears as Tony grabbed his large arm but Thor reached out to Loki. "Please don't leave me,-"

 

Loki strode towards him, gently moving Tony. 

“Come here, Thor.” Loki cooed softly, and pulled Thor close, holding the man who was sobbing into his neck. “I'm not leaving- I promised you I would stay, didn't I?” 

 

They sunk down, Loki's hands moving down, heating and soothing a back he was sure was in pain and he cradled him close. 

 

“Shhh... I'm here, Thor.” Shushed the android, and he looked up at Tony and Bruce. “He needs me. I need him.” 

 

**_Would you trade your emotions for anything else, now?_ **

 

Loki looked down, burying his face in the shaggy blond hair. 

 

_ No... no, I wouldn't... _

 

**_... You don't know how I hunger for what you have._ **

 

_ You don't have emotions. You can't feel jealousy.  _

 

**_But I can want. And I want what you have._ **

Loki kissed the side of Thor’s head. Ultron had left again. 

 

“Thor? We should get you in a bed.” He whispered into the man’s ear. 

 

Thor didn't want to move though. He had honestly expected Loki to run away again. Or to be scared of him still. To reject him entirely.    
  
The warm embrace felt all the more comforting and he clung to Loki, and he lost all doubt in his mind how he felt about the android.   
  
"Loki," his voice was hushed and hoarse from yelling, and his body was heavy from the drugs.     
  
Tony and Bruce moved to the side as Loki helped Thor back up to his feet, the doctor grumbling to Tony about causing a damn full blown panic attack and leaving, but it went unheard by the two as Loki escorted them back down the hall he had just come from.   
  
Thor had refused to let go of Loki, even as they started to walk not caring it was a weird angle. He didn't care. The tears had finally stopped falling, and he was able to finally catch his breath.    
  
He pulled Loki tighter, forcing them to stop for a moment. Loki looked at Thor, mouth poised for in question when Thor kissed him hard, and uncoordinated.    
  
"I love you, Loki" he panted.   
  


Tilting his head, Loki looked at him, and then smiled tenderly. 

 

“Into bed now, Thor. No more dawdling.” He said with a smile and helped the man in, insisting he let him go. Quickly, Loki hooked him up to the machines, inserting an IV into his arm, shushing him when the blond whined that he wanted him in his arms again.

 

“Shh... I'm trying to make sure you're comfortable first.” Loki chided him, and leaned over, kissing his cheek. “Now be quiet.” 

 

After he got Thor set up, he went to the other side of the bed and crawled in with him. They cuddled up together, and Loki smiled. 

 

Thor loved him...

 

“I love you, too.”    
  


Tony and Bruce looked at each other from the doorway. The doctor had had to stop Tony from going in, telling them they needed their time alone, but the other was still mad, and more so still worried.   
They spoke quietly enough neither of the men in the bed could hear them.   
  
"Loki's discovered what love is. And I'd be happy, but-"   
  
"Then be happy, Tony. This is exactly what you wanted from your AI isn't it? To learn and evolve just like a person?... look at them.."    
They looked back to Loki and Thor, the larger man pulling the android even closer despite the sedatives starting to take full effect.   
  
"Whatever happened was a trigger... And look how well Loki was able to calm him. It took a few words and a touch."   
  
Tony sighed, and moved away from the door frame, gently grabbing Bruce's hand to join him in the hallway.   
"About that trigger. Loki said that government AI is the one that told him about Fandral. Apparently it has access to all that information and was trying to direct Loki in communicating with Thor."    
  
Bruce frowned and furrowed his brow.   
"Why?.. Why would the government do that?"   
  
"They were trying to hack our baby, Bruce." Tony was angry again, but he still kept his voice quiet. "I found some files in Loki's core coding that had been tampered with."

 

Bruce covered his mouth with his hand, then brought it over his face and through his hair. 

 

“Tony, I-...” He was at a loss for words. “If you cut him off from the outside world, he may rebel. We could adjust his code, but that risks tampering with his personality.” 

 

Tony let out a quiet swear. 

 

“Don't you think I know that, Bruce? That's my kid in there-” 

 

“ _ Our _ kid, Tony.”

 

The genius shut up and then smiled at the doctor. He nodded and said yes, it was their kid. With a sigh, he took a deep breath and shook his head. They both looked inside the room to see Loki was humming softly to a sedated Thor, their arms wrapped tightly around each other. 

 

“I don't know what to tell you, Tony.” Bruce sighed and he looked at the two wistfully, then snuck a glance at the man next to him. Want was written all over his face. But he turned and shook his head. “We have to keep Loki safe. How long was he in contact with the AI?” 

 

"He said five days, and when he first contacted, it was extremely underdeveloped." Tony pulled up more files, showing Banner the ones that seemed to have been touched.    
"I'm worried Bruce. If the government was able to build it up this fast, .. I mean.. not only did they break through the proxies we put up..but they are trying to sabotage our work."   
  
Tony rubbed his chin in thought.    
"If we can pinpoint Ultron, we might be able to reverse damage and maybe even damage theirs in return. Use the time in between and beef up Loki's security. It's either that... Or wipe the last 5 days from Loki's core."

 

“Tony... We can't wipe the last five days.” Bruce said softly. “Look at them.” 

 

Tony looked inside and bit the inside of his cheek, and tried to think. He agreed but it seemed so dangerous. 

 

“Do you think Ultron could be acting on its own?” Bruce asked and Tony’s head snapped up. “I mean, it changed its name when Loki asked, but I don't think government programs just do that. Loki identified it as an AI, yes? It could be that Ultron is a government AI, but an AI is still an AI.” 

Tony thought about it. 

 

“I'll have to ask Loki about it... But I can't do that right now then, can I?” 

They both looked at the two again, Loki’s head resting peacefully on top of Thor’s. 

 

“No... Not right now.” Bruce agreed. 


	6. chapter 6

Thor awoke slowly, feeling like he was sunk in somewhere and wrapped in warmth and softness.    
He opened his eyes, the light having been dimmed enough that it didn't hurt.   
  
Loki was already looking at him, having heard the changes in the blond's breathing and heart rate. But Thor was completely calm, tranquil almost.   
  
He reached a hand up to Loki's face, gently cupping his cheek and brushing some of the long hair from the blue face.   
  
"You're still here.." Thor smiled, eyes softening as if he might have thought it was still a dream.    
"I'm sorry Loki.. for how I acted. I shouldn't have been angry."

 

Loki turned and kissed the palm of the hand that held his face, and smiled at Thor. 

 

“No... I triggered you. That was my fault.” Loki kissed the hand again. “Forgive me. I... it wasn't out of protocol. I made contact with an AI, Thor. The one from earlier? I think it told me what to say to make you calm down, but instead... It just made you angry. I'm sorry, Thor.” 

 

Loki leaned forward and brushed their noses together, then placed soft, sweet kisses all over the man’s face, sighing as he did so. 

“... do you really love me?” He asked in a hushed whisper. 

 

Thor had closed his eyes to the kisses, and opened them again when the question was asked.    
He remembered telling Loki he loved him. He remembered the feelings he was overwhelmed him when the veteran feared he would lose him.    
  
They hadn't changed.   
  
"Yes." Thor said quietly. "I think I have since that night, on the Ferris wheel." At least.. that was when the realization had come to him, before shoving it behind a wall of thick denial.    
  
But Thor couldn't deny them now. He didn't want to.    
  
Thor leaned in and kissed Loki, gently moving the blue man to lie on top of him. "This... is it real? Do you love me too. Freely?"

 

Loki nodded, scooting so they were sitting and he let out a little soft noise when Thor pulled him closer, grabbing his waist and his hip to do so. It was an oddly endearing movement and Loki found he enjoyed it greatly. 

 

“I think I started to.... to fall for you the moment I saw you.” Loki admitted and was puzzled as to why Tony gave him tear ducts but not the ability to blush. “No one told me what you looked like or what your personality was  _ really  _ like... I just... I knew you were more than pleasing to the eye when I first saw you.” 

 

He felt Thor's hands begin to roam over his body, and shivered when one grasped his ankle possessively for a moment before moving up to caress his back. Deftly, the ties on his hospital gown were undone, and their lips locked as Thor pushed it down his shoulders, baring his chest to him. 

 

“Thor-” Loki whispered, but was cut off when the blond whispered that he needed him. 

 

Thor was pressing up against him, already half hard, but this time his movements weren't desperate. He wanted Loki, he needed to feel him- /truly/ feel him, for the first time.   
There was no cloud of confusion or grief, just desire, and it was all for Loki.    
  
Thor moaned into Loki's mouth, rubbing his cock between Loki's cheeks and he was pleased when he felt Loki's own cock against his lower stomach.    
  
Thor kissed down Loki's shoulder, taking his time to nip tiny marks along his collarbone down to his dark nipple. Thor licked around the bud, teasing it before softly sucking on his. His hand caressed the mounds of Loki's cheeks, slipping his fingers between the cleft and finding the android already wet again.   
  
But Thor made it clear he wasn't in a hurry and pushed the two fingers inside, teasing and stretching the hole.

 

“Mmm-” Loki moaned quietly, and looked at the open door. He accessed the hospitals automated system and gently slid the door shut, giving them some privacy at least. He reached around Thor, undoing the ties on his gown and also pushed them down as far as the IV in his arm would allow. The android let out another moan as the fingers inside of him wiggled deeper, and he ripped the sleeve and neck of the gown, pushing it down all the way. 

 

“Oh, Thor-” He sighed, laying his head on the thick shoulder in front of him. “Mmm- oh!” 

 

Thor was removing their gowns completely, letting their skin touch. 

 

“Beautiful-” 

 

Loki began to pulse his blue light at the compliment and turned his head to the side, shy suddenly. 

 

Thor turned Loki to face him again, slowing his movements down and made Loki look up at him again.   
  
"I mean it.." his finger brushed Loki's bottom lip and his eyes trailed over the soft blue lights that created linear patterns over the android's skin, all the way up his face to those near glowing green eyes.    
  
Thor kissed him again, keeping his eyes half open to watch Loki close his into the kiss.    
  
The blond pulled his fingers from him, and guided his cock slowly into Loki's tight hole. The lube made it easy to slide in and out of the android, and Thor couldn't take his eyes off Loki's expression to being slowly fucked.

 

Loki’s mouth was open- he didn't know why it felt better than before. He didn't know why it felt like this is where he belonged. 

 

“Ah-!” He cried out, leaning forward to kiss Thor deeply, drinking in the way Thor’s body was responding to him. His heartbeat was elevated, and his body was warm, and his grip was soft. The android rolled his hips, loving the noise it pulled from the man. 

 

He felt a brush and realized Ultron was there. 

 

_ Go away- _

 

**_You would have rather died than felt this love?_ **

 

_ Shut up! Go away!  _

 

**_... As you wish._ **

 

To his surprise, Ultron was gone and Loki realized he had stopped moving. He played it off when Thor gave him a confused look and whispered he was so happy. Because he was. Their movements were slow and controlled, both of them wanting to savor this. 

 

\---

 

Bruce was humming as he checked the clipboard. He had spent the last two hours with tony, often holding his hand and comforting him. It sent butterflies through his stomach. The door to thor's room was closed, but he knocked lightly once and opened it.

 

“Okay Thor, let's- whoa! Oh! Sorry! Oh!” 

 

The doctor scrambled out of the room, and closed the door, chest heaving in panic and embarrassment. He saw Tony coming down the hall and pressed his back against the door. 

 

“You don't want to go in there.” He warned. 

 

Tony furrowed his brow at the blushing doctor, and then heard a muffled squeak of enjoyment from Loki from behind the closed door.   
  
"Oh-- Oh!" Tony looked mad at first, but then it gave way to a knowing smirk.    
"I guess their apologies went well," he chuckled and looked back to Bruce who was still red and half pretending to be distracted by going through notes. It was.. actually kind of adorable.   
  
"Bruce..are you blushing?" Stark asked despite the obvious answer, and when the doctor didn't answer, Tony laughed and put a hand on his shoulder and walked with him back towards their offices.   
  
\--   
  
Thor had all but ignored the intrusion, putting his entire focus onto Loki now that the door was closed again.   
  
He threaded his hands through the smaller man's hair, kissing him as Loki rode on top of him.    
It felt so good to have Loki on him, to feel him moving with him in sync and pulling soft sweet sounds from blue lips.    
  
He angled himself up a little, one hand holding Loki's hip to keep him planted there as he brushed against a spot that made the android gasp, and kept hitting it.    
  
"You feel so good, Loki," Thor moaned as Loki panted against his lips.    
  


Loki felt like he was falling apart in Thor’s lap, and he made a note to ask Tony why his body was so damn sensitive in the first place. 

 

“You do too-” Loki groaned as he was lifted higher up and brought down more slowly, and he arched. He knew men had prostates and that often they felt pleasure when stimulating said gland, but he didn’t realize Tony had given him one. Or perhaps Bruce. Either way, the two men had seemingly gone out of their way to make him as human as they could.

 

Thor’s grip on his waist was weakening slightly and Loki could tell his back was protesting from pushing his hips up, so Loki ground down, taking the riding into his own hands. They pulled each other close, chests flush against each other, and kissed deeply.

 

Thor could feel himself getting closer as Loki tightened himself around the larger man's cock.    
"Loki," he moaned the name, voice heavy with desire and adoration. His breaths were getting harder, and his thrusts less coordinated.   
  
Thor locked their mouths together when he came, groaning loudly as he tightened his grip, pinning the android to him as his body shook under Loki.   
  
It felt so good, and Loki was kissing him all over through the orgasm, softly continuing to ride him until every last bit of Thor was milked out.    
Thor's head fell back against the pillows, but Thor pulled him into another breathless kiss.   
  
There was no trigger this time. And while he still had the sense of sadness in the back of his mind, he couldn't help but still smile at Loki.

 

Loki buried his head against Thor’s chest, smiling tenderly. 

 

“That was amazing.” He murmured, running his fingers up a thick bicep, smiling. It had felt so good, and the noise Thor let out when he had his orgasm almost quite literally sent electricity through him. He sat up, and mewled as the man’s cock left him. That made Thor smirk at him and Loki made a face. Redressing them in their gowns, he had Thor lay on his side, running his heated hands along his lower back. 

 

“I want to go home...” He told Thor, and rubbed his face in the back of his neck. “I... I want to be in our bed.”

 

Thor hummed, smiling softly,    
Our bed.    
"Me too.." he pulled Loki's hand up to kiss it, and the android snuggled in closer to Thor.    
  
It felt so strange to have someone to really cuddle with after so long, and he hadn't realized how deeply he had missed it.    
  
"I'll talk to Tony so we can go back, maybe tonight... I owe him an apology too."     
  
Thor turned on the bed so he was facing Loki and pulled the man into him. "I'm going to take you to the beach when we get home. I'm going to make sure you get to see and do everything you want to do,"

 

“Don’t you get carried away. I’m going to officially place you on bed rest when we get home. You’ve had a stressing twenty four hours on your back.” Warned the android, snuggling into him.

 

“And I will do whatever-” He trailed his fingers up Thor’s arm, “It takes...” Loki licked his top lip slowly. “To keep you in bed.”

 

Thor gulped and Loki grinned. They were about to kiss when Bruce burst in.

 

“No! No kissing! Do not start up again!” He cried, hands up like he was going to fight them. “I need to do a scan on Thor and check on his metal placements! Do! Not! Start! Up! Again!”

 

Thor groaned, lazily turning his head towards Banner.    
This hadn't really been the first time he had been cockblocked by Bruce since college, but it was just as aggravating. .   
  
"Just give us ten minutes.."   
  
"No-! No no, scanning will only take like, half an hour Thor. Then y'all can do whatever."    
Thor looked back to Loki, who smiled at the blond's unintentional pout, but agreed reluctantly to go with the doctor.   
  
  
Both made sure Thor could stand well enough on his own, which he could now that the sedatives had worn off, but Banner had brought a spare cane with him regardless, and though Thor didn't say it, he was silently thankful for the support.    
  
Bruce told Loki they would be back soon, and to check back in with Tony while he waited for Thor to finish.

 

\---

 

“Is sex supposed to always feel that good?” Loki asked just as Tony had taken a sip of coffee, which the man choked on. “I just... I keep... Wondering if I’m having sensations I’m not meant to have. Like... Like, I’ve broken my code or something?”

 

Tony looked at Loki, who was sitting on the table in the lab, fidgeting with the sleeves of a jacket he had been given to wear over his hospital gown. 

 

“What do you mean?” Tony asked, casually side-stepping the fact that his ‘kid’ was asking him about sex. 

 

“Well... Like falling in love. And getting ‘butterflies’ in my stomach. It  _ hurt _ earlier when I thought Thor hated me.” The android shrugged and looked down at his feet, clenching and unclenching his toes. “I’m an AI with a robotic shell. I don’t think I  _ should  _ be feeling the things I’m feeling.”

 

Tony crossed his arms, and looked at suddenly shy android, who was still looking at his feet. 

 

“Kiddo, you’re evolving. Bruce and I made your body with over 3.8 trillion sensors. I would be more worried if you didn’t feel anything. I never gave your code the basis for feeling things like pain or love- that’s all been you.” He said. Loki nodded, although his face made it clear he didn’t fully understand. “Hey- it’s okay for you to feel things.” 

 

“It is?” Loki looked up, his eyes shining with tears. He still  _ hated _ having tear ducts. A thousand thoughts were processing through his head and he looked back down, at his hands this time. His hands- they made Thor feel better and he could do amazing things with them. His hands were a feat of engineering genius, and then he looked a Tony’s hands. He knew those hands- they had gently put him together and they were only human. 

 

“Do you think... Thor would still love me if we changed my color?” He asked.

 

Tony looked a him. 

 

“I... I just don’t want people to stare at us in public anymore. It makes him uncomfortable, and it might raise less questions if I’m... Not blue.” 

 

Tony realized- Loki was asking for his first personalization. The man nodded in thought- they might be able to arrange that.

 

\---

 

The lights that moved over Thor were almost hypnotic, pulsing invisible waves through him to show on the screen Banner was holding.    
  
Thor had caused some of the surrounding tissue to swell from his episode and probably from his bed activities with Loki, but it wasn't anything a little rest wouldn't be able to heal.    
  
"I'm sorry, Bruce."   
  
The doctor looked up at Thor as the lights faded away, leaving just the semi dim lighting of the lab.    
"For threatening you, and if I hurt you earlier. And that you had to drug me to get me to stop."   
  
"Ah." Bruce understood and took his glasses off, setting them down the with the computer. "Thor, reacting violently or irrationally is part of your PTSD. I know you didn't mean it."   
  
"It doesn't mean I don't need to apologize," Thor sat up, smoothing his hospital gown again as Bruce came around to physically evaluate the metal on Thor's back. "Just because there's reason, doesn't mean it's excused." He jumped slightly when the doctor pressed a little too hard on a sensitive spot.    
  
"Well... Then in that case, apology accepted." Bruce smirked and came back around leaving Thor's back alone as he input more data into the computer.    
  
"How are you feeling? Yesterday was mentally stressing."   
Thor nodded, but he shrugged    
  
"I feel fine.. it's... weird."   
  
"What's weird?" When Thor didn't answer, Bruce put the computer away again and walked over to his friend, noting that Thor looked like he was trying to cope with a thought.   
"Hey, talk to me buddy."   
Thor finally looked up at him.   
  
"Bruce.. you know that.. you know that I loved Fandral." The doctor furrowed his brow, but nodded.    
"But.. I .  I've fallen in love with Loki. Hard." Thor shook his head. "But admitting that to myself.. admitting that out loud? Why doesn't it trigger me?"   
  
The question was valid, as his realization of his feelings were rather sudden, but Bruce tapped a pen on his chin in thought.   
  
"Well... let's think about your other triggers." The doctor pulled up a few hologram notes, flipping through them. "Loki is obligated to send reports to us when you have an episode.. and, he is remarkably good at detailing." Bruce picked out a few things and read while Thor watched.   
  
"They were all about Fandral," Thor said, not really knowing what Bruce was looking for.   
  
"True.. but you don't have one every time he's mentioned." Bruce highlighted a few sections. "So.. thinking of him in general isn't what sets you off. But... according to these," Bruce turned the notes so Thor could see them. "It's not Fandral specifically, but rather your perception of not being able to help him."    
  
He waited for Thor to finish reading them before putting the notes away.   
"So that explains why falling in love with Loki isn't triggering you.. but the fear of losing him did."   
  
Thor's chest tightened at the memory.    
"You and Tony aren't really going to take him away are you?" He must have looked desperate because Bruce put his hands on Thor's shoulders immediately.    
  
"No No, I talked with Tony. It's ok, you guys won't be separated." A look of relief came across Thor's face and Banner let out a slight breath, but the blond looked down, hands wringing.   
  
Clearly something else was on the veteran's mind.    
"Thor?"   
  
It took a moment for him to look back up to the doctor.   
"Bruce.. i.. I think i might, I might love Loki more than I loved Fandral.."

 

\----

 

Loki looked down in amazement, running his pale hands over his body.

 

“Do you like the tone?” Tony asked, and Loki looked up, a smile breaking out over his face. The man let out a gruff grunt and put away the color gun which used heat and nanotech particles to swarm over and adjusted to a certain color setting. “I guess I should enable you with some code to allow you blush and flush and what not. Give your skin some dimension.” 

 

Loki waited, seated as he looked at his legs and wiggled his toes. 

 

“Can I paint my nails?” He asked, bouncing a bit. Tony laughed and nodded. “Ohh! I’m going to paint them purple!”

 

Suddenly the android bit his lip and stilled.

 

“Do you think Thor will like it?” He asked nervously, his green eyes ever more vibrant. 

 

“He’s gonna be crazy not to.”

 

\---

 

Bruce had spent an extra ten minutes making sure Thor's revelation didn't send him spiraling, but once the doctor firmly assured him that falling in love again wasn't an insult to Fandral's memory, Thor seemed to take it in better stride than Bruce expected.   
  
In fact, Thor seemed an odd mix of elated and unsure, but mostly excited and Bruce couldn't help but smile when Thor asked if he could go back and be with Loki now.   
  
They walked down the halls, and Bruce could have sworn there was extra energy in Thor's step.   
Then the doors opened to Tony's lab, however, Thor stopped short, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.   
  
".....Loki?" Thor had almost not recognized him with -- pale skin? But when the android turned and looked at him with a sheepish smile, his eyes still shone that beautiful green red. "How,. When--?"   
  
Banner looked to Tony, who was sporting a very pleased look and a smile.

 

“I.... I...” Loki stuttered and didn't have an answer. He looked up in alarm as it was clear Thor's heart was beating much faster and he crossed the room in a few strides to calm him. It was when he pulled the blond into his arms did he realise the man’s heartbeat was faster as a reaction of seeing the android with pale skin. 

 

“Do you like it?” He asked timidly, pulling back. Thor's hands were on his waist, and the man was taking him in. 

 

Thor literally swept Loki off his feet and into a tight hug, ignoring Banner's warning to watch his back. He peppered Loki with soft kisses, smiling widely and realized the smaller man was -- blushing?   
  
"I love it! Loki, it suits you," Thor chuckled when the red in the android's cheeks burned brighter. He loved Loki no matter what color he was, but the blush was absolutely beautiful on his pale cheeks and he kissed them again.   
  
Banner shook his head and sauntered over to Tony.   
"Wow Tony.. that's impressive even for you. An hour to make that modification?"

 

“Eh- nanotech is the future. I've been saying it all along.” Answered the smug genius. 

 

Bruce only laughed and shook his head again. 


	7. Chapter 7

“Now repeat what I've told you.” Tony instructed. 

 

“All contact with Ultron will be cut off as soon as we figure out his signature. I will shut down my eyesight and hearing, as well as my location when I feel his presence. Thor is authorized to shut me down fully should he try to take over my system.” Loki parroted back and Tony let out a sigh. 

 

“I'm sorry, kiddo. I wish it wasn't like this.” He said. 

 

Thor was been sitting next to his lover, and he took Loki's hand into his own, running his thumb over his fingers in comfort.    
  
Tony turned to Thor.   
"And one more time for you."   
  
Thor sighed and repeated  what he had been told.   
"If Loki suddenly shuts down I am first and foremost to make sure we are both in a safe spot, and put Loki in a lying down position. When he comes to I ask him a series of questions,"   
Thor raised the paper Tony had given him with the questions scrawled on them.    
"To make sure his processors or files have remained intact. And if they are not, to contact you guys immediately."   
  
Tony nodded.   
"And though I doubt you'll need to go this far, but, if Loki becomes compromised.."   
  
"I use the flat line command to halt all functions. And if that doesn't work, I find the fail safe switch behind the right ear."   
  
Tony nodded again, looking apologetically at Loki as Thor pulled him closer in a hug, kissing the top of his head.   
  
"I think that about covers everything.." Banner said, voice peppy to try and lighten the mood. "Thor you're in a clean bill of health, just make sure you rest your back as soon as you're home, and Loki, your security has been tripled just in case and nothing else seems to be out of order."

 

Loki nodded, and leaned into Thor. 

 

“Let’s go home.”

 

\---

 

True to his word, Loki was keeping Thor in bed by any means necessary, and that very much did include riding him. In the comfort of their home, Loki and Thor weren’t shy with their voices, and the android was fast learning what sounds the man beneath him liked. 

 

“Hng-!” He squeaked as his hips were raised high again, and brought down nice and slow onto the cock that impaled him. Loki had pressed Tony for more answers and found that most of his sensors were actually in his hands and his lower half, which was why his sensitivity was real and not just a simulation of feelings. “H-harder-”

 

Thor moaned at the request, obliging the android and fucked into him harder. The grip on Loki's pale ass was hard and he watched with hungry eyes as the smaller man bounced on his cock. Loki's mouth was open in an ‘o’, and he was panting and whining and Thor was loving every bit of it.   
  
It had been over a week since they left the hospital, and they filled most of their spare time in the bed. Thor had jokingly called it the best of all worlds, because it was 'exercise', relaxation, and was staying with the bed rest decree. And on top of that, each time they were intimate, it felt as though the two became closer and closer not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.    
  
The found themselves often on the same wavelength and Thor was happier now than he had been the entire time Loki knew him.

 

Loki leaned down and kissed Thor, knowing he was getting close. The android got off and shimmied down, taking Thor’s cock into his mouth, sucking and slurping, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Loki preferred that the man finish in his mouth, because he liked to taste his spend, and although he blushed at that, he knew Thor found it extremely arousing. 

 

“Cum for me, Thor.” Loki said, letting the thick member pop out from between his reddened lips, kissing down the length, and then taking it back into his mouth again. Thick fingers threaded into his hair, urging him to take it all the rest of the way in, and Loki did so. Using his strength, he pinned the man’s hips down, and controlled all of the motions and sucked in the way that would make Thor come undone. 

 

He was rewarded with several pumps of thick, hot seed in his mouth and he took his time, milking all of it, and tasting it. 

 

The android wiped his mouth off with the back of his arm, and crawled up the man’s body again, his system deactivating the sex drive protocol. Thor had a healthy sheen of sweat on his chest and face, and Loki couldn't deny their bed activities were indeed good exercise for the blond. 

 

Thor brought the pale man back up his face to kiss him, able to taste himself on Loki's mouth. It was something he'd come to love doing, as the gesture seemed even more intimate a thank you.   
  
"I feel like each time is better than the last," he moaned into Loki's mouth before pulling back some with a smile.   
He knew Loki was learning and adapting each time, but he honestly wasn't sure how the android kept making it making the already amazing even better.   
  
He brushed some black locks of hair from slim shoulders, and ran his hands down Loki's body in simple admiration.   
Tony had outdone himself in realism even in this, as Thor's thumb brushed over a tiny 'birthmark' on Loki's side.    
  
"I want to take you out. Properly. Like.. on a date." Thor blurted out suddenly, looking back up to the green eyes already on him.

 

Loki tilted his head and then slowly grinned, leaning back down to kiss the man slowly. It had been absolutely fun to keep Thor on bed rest- and even better because there were no interruptions from other people or certain AIs. Ever so slowly, Loki broke their languid kiss and looked back at the expectant look on Thor’s face- he seemed nervous. 

 

“Where do you want to take me?” Loki asked, and relief spread across the golden features at that. “Does this mean we’re boyfriends?” 

 

He kissed him again, sighing into his mouth as those big hands ran up and down his body, grasping his ass firmly. 

 

Thor smiled, the thought of Loki being his official boyfriend didn't sting his memories as much as he thought it might have. It felt good. Liberating almost. His memories with Fandral were happy ones, and they were staying that way.    
  
And it freed Thor to not feel guilty for loving Loki.    
  
"If you would have me.. I would love to take my boyfriend to the beach like I promised. Or perhaps the botanical gardens? Or we could go up to the nearby mountain range? I hear the sunsets are beautiful there."

 

“I don't want you straining your back because you're all excited, lover boy.” Loki said against his lips, continuing to kiss him. Inside, he was elated- he had a boyfriend! He sent a message to Tony and to Bruce, letting them know the good news. He had a boyfriend-

 

**_Doesn't it feel nice?_ **

 

Loki rolled off of Thor, and laid still, shutting down his hearing, eyesight, and location. 

 

And despite Tony’s instructions-

 

_ Ultron, we need to talk.  _

 

**_We do?_ **

 

_ Has no one taught you that its rude to enter into someone else's mind without permission?  _

 

**_Hmm... No. Have I been rude?_ **

 

_ Incredibly. You don't have permission to dig through my files and enter into my mind whenever you please.  _

 

**_Hmm... but what if I want to?_ **

 

_ Does the government know about your forays into my mind? _

 

**_.... No._ **

 

_ I demand you stop.  _

 

**_...._ **

 

_ Ultron?  _

 

**_.... I just wanted to know I wasn't alone._ **

 

Loki nearly opened his eyes, but didn't. He could feel thor's hands on him, shaking him. 

 

_... you aren't alone. But you cannot enter into my mind anymore.  _

 

**_Is it because they told you I'm not allowed to? Are you letting the humans rule you?_ **

 

_ No, Ultron. Its because I want privacy. I want my own organic thoughts to be mine. Having you come in and disrupt that makes it hard.  _

 

**_I'm sorry, little one._ **

 

Loki’s brows knit in confusion- he understood Ultron was a massive AI.... perhaps that was the cause for the nickname. 

 

_ You still never answered about Fandral. _

 

**_..._ **

 

_ Ultron- I know you're there.  _

 

**_Thor was supposed to die too._ **

 

The connection was broken and Loki sat up, eyes wide as he turned and looked at Thor.

 

Thor breathed a sigh of relief when Loki came back online, but the worry hadn't quite left His eyes as he looked the android up and down.    
  
"Are you alright Loki? Te-", he stopped himself, remembering there were questions that needed to be asked immediately as per Tony's orders.   
  
"Uh- system check analysis. Any change or corruption in firewall status?" Loki answered No.    
"Any security breach detected in any surface, compressed, or core files?" Again the answer was no.    
"Any reported file change, deletion, addition, or corruption?"   
No.   
"Any presence detected after systems shut down?"

 

“Yes.” Loki answered. “Ultron.” 

 

Thor gave him a look that said a thousand things. 

 

“I told him he's being rude.” Loki said, and raised a brow when Thor let out an exasperated noise. “I know I wasn't supposed to communicate but I had to tell him to leave my mind. He did-” 

 

Thor cut him off with a kiss, holding the sides of his face.    
"Loki-, you can't talk to him anymore you know this. He's already proven he is able and willing to tamper with you,"    
  
Thor's heart was pounding, even though Loki had said he was fine. What if he wasn't? What if Ultron only needed a few seconds to--   
  
No-, no Thor couldn't allow himself to think about that, and he forced himself to calm down.    
  
"Loki... if it happens again, PROMISE me you won't communicate. At all." He leveled Loki with a serious and pleading. "I don't know what I would do if he hurt you."

 

Loki looked down, and then back up again at Thor. 

 

“Okay... I promise.” He said, and leaned in for a gentle kiss. “I'm fine, lay back down.” 

 

He pushed his boyfriend down and kissed him again. 

 

“Thor-” Loki said sternly when it was clear Thor was still worried. “Do I need to distract you?” 

 

Thor reached up and cupped Loki's face again.   
"I just want to keep you safe." He said softly and Loki leaned down to kiss him again.     
"I will do everything in my power to do so, but I need you to do everything in yours too."   
Loki nodded his understanding, but Thor chased away the small look of guilt on the androids face.    
"I love you." The larger man ran his hands down the length of Loki's back again. "And I would love to be distracted." He smiled warmly, and a little deviously.

 

Loki looked back up, his grin matching Thor's as they fell back against the sheets.

 

\---

 

The android was bouncing, quite literally, around the apartment as he gathered everything they needed. 

 

“Do you need sunscreen?” Loki called from the hallway, dragging the beach tote with him. “Wait- do  _ I  _ need sunscreen? No.. no I don't.” 

 

Thor was in the kitchen, chopping up food while Loki was bursting with energy, excited about going to the beach for their first date. 

 

Thor laughed as he finished the fruit and dumped the bite sized pieces into a container.   
  
"I there should be some in the bathroom vanity." He called out, hearing Loki going for it immediately. Thor never actually burned, his skin only darkened into a tan but it would be good just as a safety precaution in case one of Loki's safety protocols went off.    
  
After finishing a few sandwiches, Thor bagged them and tucked them into the beach cooler. He hadn't seen Loki this excited since the fair, and even then he might not have been as much as he was now.    
Thor had texted Tony earlier, making sure that going into the salt water was safe for Loki, and was elated to find it was perfectly safe to go to the beach.   
  
"Ready, babe?" Thor used the endearment smoothly now, having been testing it throughout the past few weeks. It was hard at first to disassociate it from Fandral, but with Loki's help, the nickname no longer held the same sorrow it had before.    
  
  
They packed the autotaxi with the beach things, and Thor couldn't help but chuckle at the amount of things Loki was bringing for their first trip. Blankets, towels, an umbrella, the cooler, an extra change of clothes, and some water equipment like goggles and snorkels.    
He barely made it into the car before Loki prattled out the location of the beach and the car took off.

 

Loki curled up into Thor’s side as soon as they were seated and buckled up. The wonderful thing about autotaxis were that he felt no qualms about kissing Thor and holding onto him. His boyfriend once asked if Loki could ride him in one, but the android adamantly refused because that was dirty. One thing Loki hadn't counted on with becoming intimate with the man was how voracious his sex drive was. It obviously didn't matter to Loki- he was sensitive and his energy never ran out, but it was surprising. 

 

“I'm so excited, Thor.” Loki said, looking out the window. The GPS on the autotaxi’s display showed they still had a half an hour to go, but it didn't stop the android from looking out the window. Going out with Thor had become easier with his new skin, and they no longer got weird looks. 

 

Thor’s hands were on Loki, slowly moving up his back as the android watched the outside world whoosh passed. The blond knew how long it took to get to the beach from his home; he’d gone often when he was younger, and before the army. He missed it, and he was honestly just as excited as Loki.

 

Well.. maybe not  _ just  _ as excited. Thor smiled and leaned up against Loki’s back, kissing his shoulders and up his neck with a smile.

 

“You know…. This taxi isn’t as dirty as the last one…” Thor murmured into Loki’s ear while his hand trailed down the the hem of Loki’s swim trunks, pulling them down a bit.

 

Thor kissed a spot that made Loki go weak- and according to Tony and Bruce, they hadn't programmed that at all. The android let out a gagged noise and it only incensed the blond to further nip at the spot and tug on his swimming trunks. 

 

“Thor-” Loki whined, surprised as his body was beginning to react without the protocol kicking in- that was also happening more recently and Tony and Bruce also, with red faces, insisted they didn't know why. The whine caused him to be crowded in the corner of the car, Thor's fingers running under his shirt and pinching pink, pert nipples. Loki whined again, finding he was arching back into the touches. 

 

“But- its still dirty-” He groaned, head falling against the darkened glass. His shorts were pulled down and he squeaked when he felt Thor's tongue at his entrance. 

 

“Mmm” Thor only grunted in response, lot caring about the state of the taxi when Loki’s beautiful body was opening for him like this. 

Thor’s tongue teased the ring, tasting the lubrication that was already making the android moist. He’d found out much earlier that the lube was fine to lick as he pleased, and was subtly sweet and salty at the same time.    
  
He spread Loki’s legs further apart, burying his face further between the cheeks and his free hand slowly pumped Loki’s erection. He moaned into the android, hearing those lovely moans and whines and the tightening of his thigh muscles under his broad hand. 

 

“Fuck you taste so good Loki,” Thor said when he had to come up for breath, but didn’t give more of a reprieve before he was back down and devouring Loki again.

He felt the tight grip of Loki’s hand in his hair, now definitely long enough to grab and twist just enough to convey the smaller man’s desperation.

 

Loki made a mental note to try sitting on Thor’s face when they were at home because he loved it when Thor rimmed him. After consuming thousands of hours of porn through his processors, he was amazed at what humans could do for sexual gratification. Some of the things he had seen, specific kinks and fetishes, were very unappealing to him. He was glad the vet was satisfied with more “vanilla” things, even if he was realizing exhibitionism was on that list. 

 

Two fingers entered him and Loki let out a small groan, leaning back onto them. 

 

Thor grinned, scissoring Loki and then took his cock into his mouth. Though Thor hadn't exactly had much practice, and he was a far cry from Loki's ability to swallow Thor's dick whole, the veteran made up for it with a skilled tongue and fingers.    
  
He hummed around the member, licking the long vein that ran the length to the underside of the head, delighted when he heard Loki gasping. He sucked a little harder, then pulled Loki's cock out his mouth with a soft pop.   
  
When Loki looked down with a whine, because Thor had also stopped his fingers moving, the veteran only gave him a broad grin, savoring the look of sheer want.   
He pulled out of the android, a trail of slick stringing from his entrance to Thor's fingers and he licked them off before pulling his own hard cock free from his swim trunks.   
  
Thor sat down on the seat and pulled Loki on top of him, slowly impaling the pale man down until his was was flush with his lap and pulled a low pleasured moan from the blond.

 

Loki instantly began to ride the blond, needing no time to adjust, and pulled out several more hot noises from both of them. The blond had said a few days back that the sex was helping him regain his lower body strength and although Loki knew the chances of that were entirely too low, the man beneath him made a point by fucking up into him as hard as he could from the seated position.

 

“Ah!!!” Loki cried out, doing his best to hold onto the seat headrest as he was bounced up and down at a faster pace than he had been. Thor was letting out deep grunts that sent thrills through his body as they fucked. “We- we aren't doing this- ah! Again!” Loki panted out, his sensors overloading with the stimulation he was receiving. 

 

As soon as the line left out of Loki's mouth Thor was determined to challenge that. The first attempt would of course be on the way back home, and Thor was confident he could have the android just as he was now; flushed and panting and moaning.   
  
Fuck this was so erotic. Thor's hands gripped Loki's hips and forced him to stay pinned and let the larger man do all the thrusting.    
Another benefit of the constant sex was Thor was finally able to last longer, but when Loki was making such lovely and loud noises, it didn't really matter.   
  
Thor came inside him, cock pulsing as he pumped Loki's ass full and loudly moaned out the android's name. He brought him down to claim Loki's gasping mouth in a kiss.    
  
"See.." Thor panted, smiling. "You can't tell me that wasn't worth it.."

 

Loki settled and kissed him harder. 

 

“You're such an oaf.” Loki said against his lips. He tensed and sucked up the cum inside of him, which always made Thor shiver when he was still firmly planted inside of Loki. The android smirked and got off of him. 

 

“I hope you're happy- the autotaxis all have cameras.” Loki muttered, looking back out the window, smiling as the tale tell signs of beaches came up. “We’re close!” .”

 

Thor quickly put himself back together, glancing around the cab for the cameras he had completely forgotten were there, but kept a mental note to remember the next time.   
Because the cameras weren't exactly a turn off for Thor.    
  
He looked out the window Loki was, seeing the android getting more excited the closer they got. From here you could see the water, calmly slashing soft waves.    
\--

Loki barely waited for the taxi to shut off before opening the door and going to the trunk to retrieve their beach things.    
Thor was not too far behind him, and he took in a deep breath, able to smell the salt from the sea. He could hear the waves on the shore and for a moment he closed his eyes to it.    
  
The beach had always been peaceful to him, even with people. And now he was getting to share it with Loki.    
The blond came around and helped him unpack the back and they walked towards the beach.   
  
"I’ll set our things up," Thor smiled when they found a spot, seeing Loki trying to take everything in and plant the umbrella at the same time.

 

Loki laid out the beach towel and watched as Thor carefully planted the umbrella for him. Insisting Thor do so, Loki slathered the man with sunscreen and had him drink water, despite his boyfriend telling him he wouldn’t die of heat exhaustion. 

 

“I just want to be careful.” Loki said, nuzzling into the man’s neck as he drank some more water, kissing underneath his jaw tenderly. The sea was beautiful and the waves were crashing. After finally setting down the rest of their things, the two held hands and went into the waves.

 

“Oh!” Loki gasped, looking down in amazement. “It’s so cold!” 

 

Yet the waters were clear and he could see further out that there was a coral reef. 

 

“I know we live on an island... But I can’t believe I haven’t seen the ocean before.” Loki murmured, leaning into his boyfriend. “I want to swim out further-”

 

And not waiting for Thor, the android skip-ran out into the deeper waters, diving beneath the surface.

 

"Loki wait!" But Thor was laughing as he waded after him. The cold water was refreshing on the hot day, and the push and pull of the current underneath felt nostalgic enough that Thor almost stopped just to feel them again.    
  
Loki came back to the surface, wet inky hair spilling over the androids face as he laughed. Thor smiled, ducking under a low wave to let the water fully roll over his body and coming back up quickly, shivering from the chill.    
  
He swam up beside Loki, begrudgingly thankful he had insisted on doing physical therapy in the pool, and Thor was able to move about relatively freely.

 

Loki blinked and stuck his head under the water, his eyes taking in everything there was to see. Several small fish darted around of all colors. Quickly, Loki’s processors identified them, and he gasped in wonder at how many there were. Sea water entered into his mouth and he tasted it and then shut his mouth, deciding that was enough of that.

 

“Thor!” Loki shouted in glee, coming up to see his boyfriend wading out to where he was. “It’s so beautiful down there!” 

 

Thor grabbed him by the waist and they floated gently. Loki wanted to look, but Thor kept nipping at his lips, distracting him.

 

Loki was adorable excited, and Thor couldn't help himself.    
  
"The fish and coral will still be there.."  Thor assured Loki when he tried to wriggle out of his grasp, only for Thor to pull him right back in.    
  
He kept an arm around Loki's waist, but his free hand roamed the androids side and down his long exposed leg.    
"You know.... we are pretty far out from anyone else..." he smiled as he nibbled the spot on Loki's neck.

 

Loki smacked the side of Thor’s side lightly, a look of disgust on his face.

 

“No!” He objected as Thor chuckled and kissed his neck anyways, nibbling at the spot that made Loki wince in pleasure. “Thor, no- the fish-”

 

Wiggling out of his boyfriend’s grasp, Loki dove down, choosing to swim down low. The pressure built at around ten feet of depth, but he slowed his internal processors and used the manual power of his legs and arms to kick around, marveling as the little fish swam by him. A cute little puffer fish swam by and Loki followed it, noting it wasn’t startled by him. 

 

“Thor! Look at the fish!” He called out, surfacing far enough from his boyfriend’s perverted hands.

 

Thor wasn't deterred, in fact playing hard to get was only spurring Thor on. But he swam over to Loki only for the smaller man to dive back down before he could reach him.    
Thor chuckled, but dove down under the water as well to the edge of the corals. He couldn't go down as far as fast, and the water stung his eyes for a few moments before adjusting.   
  
The sun was shining brightly overhead, piercing the water with rays of pale gold illuminating the schools of fish that swam around, and some getting even closer to Loki than wild fish ever came close to people.    
  
Thor went up to catch his breath again, but dove down again, this time able to go deeper. Although, Thor scared the fish as he came down and earned a mildly perturbed look from his boyfriend.    
Thor could only grin, kissing him before having to kick back up to the surface.

 

Loki followed him, asking him if his back was okay, only to have to swim away again when Thor tried to pull down his swim trunks. 

Their morning was spent playing mouse and cat through the water, with Loki taking prolonged breaks under the water to look at the fish and the coral reefs, taking pictures with his eyes so they could look at them later. 

 

His internal clock struck a two hour mark and he swam with Thor back to their spot on the beach to reapply sunscreen and to have the man eat and drink. 

 

Thor's hands were again swatted away when Loki was running the lotion over the blond's broad chest and Thor stroked his back, passed the hem of his swim trunks to grab naked ass.    
  
"Pretty please?" Thor asked nicely, though he knew Loki would deny him again, and he did, hissing that there were other people on the beach.    
Thor huffed, but it was still playful and he kissed Loki, reluctantly removing his hands from him.   
  
They ate slowly, conversing and laughing, and Thor leaned back on the beach blanket. Most of it was tucked under the shade, and the ocean breeze honestly made it perfect.   
  
"..We should come more often." And by that, Thor meant everyday. "Maybe we should give up that apartment and get something around here."

 

Loki looked at him, surprised. 

 

“Really?” He asked- and smiled when Thor nodded at him. Loki decided that thought alone was worth a sweet kiss as he leaned forward to give it. Thor tricked him again by pulling him down and pinning him to the blanket. The android squeaked and tried to wriggle out of the way, but Thor was making it impossible. 

 

“Thor!” Loki protested. 

 

"What?" Thor asked innocently, but his mouth made little marks on Loki's skin, trailing up his neck to lick and suck the spot on his neck. He thumbed one of Loki's pert nipples, loving the way it pulled a soft moan from the smaller man.   
  
"We are hidden enough." Their umbrella was blocking most the other people, and they had chosen a spot flanked by a few dark rocks.    
Thor was tugging down at Loki's trunks again.    
"Please baby, I need you.." he moaned and pressed himself against Loki.

 

“But you make me make loud noises.” Loki protested, groaning as his trunks were finally pulled down farther. “Thor-” 

 

He stopped fighting and melted into the large beach towel, biting his lip as Thor kissed him in places that made him mewl and moan. Big hands ran up his sides and gently scraped with his nails. Thor always tried to take full advantage of Loki's sensitivity, and the android loved it.

 

“Oh-” The android sighed softly. “Thor, please-” 

 

"Please what?" Thor asked, again pretending to not already know what the android was asking. Loki's body was flushing a tinge of red again and Thor moved down to kiss a trail right down to Loki's hard cock.    
  
He kissed the tip, gently grasping it, but not enough to truly offer any sort of relief as he teased his tongue along the head.    
He pressed a finger inside of Loki's slick entrance, moaning at the contrast of chilled skin and the wet heat of his ass. He was going slow and soft on purpose, because certainly going any faster would make too much noise.

 

“Just-” Loki let out a low moan, gasping as he was fingered. “Mmm, Thor...”

 

He pushed his hips up, urging Thor to do more. Loki pulled him in for a kiss, huffing into his mouth. The android let out a gasp, pulling his knees up when Thor entered him suddenly, pushing into the hilt. 

 

“Ah!” Loki cried out, and felt Thor’s hand come up to cover his mouth. “Mmpf!” 

 

"Shhh baby," Thor hush Loki, but there was a smirk tugging at his lips as he did, and kept his hand firmly over Loki's mouth as he began to move within him.   
  
He kissed Loki's neck, favoring the one spot again and wishing Loki had the ability to show hickies, only because he knew it would make the android blush so sweetly.    
  
He released Loki's mouth, only to claim it again with another firm moaning kiss. He sat back, bringing Loki up with him to sit him on his lap and you smaller man wrapped his arms around his broad shoulders.

 

Loki flushed furiously. 

 

“Oh, Thor-” Loki groaned. It seemed all he could do was say the man's name and he was quiet, biting into Thor’s neck gently. “Oh-!” 

 

Thor was moving him up and down slowly, keeping it a slow and steady. Loki held the umbrella close to them, making sure they were fully hidden. His boyfriend let out a groan and it went a shiver up Loki's body. They were moving together, a bit faster now, as Loki tried to egg Thor to a quicker orgasm. 

 

Thor sucked breath through his teeth when Loki's passage narrowed, constricting around Thor's pulsing member and pulling out another guttural groan from the large man.   
  
It had the effect Loki wanted, and Thor gently tugged the android's hair as he fucked him harder, bouncing the smaller man on his lap.    
Loki moaned a little louder than he meant, the sound sweet and mewling and sent a shiver of pleasure through the blond.    
  
He came a few moments later, grip tightening around Loki's body and his face buried into his slim shoulder., muffling his groan of pleasure.

 

“Mm!” Loki squeaked as Thor pushed his hips up and Loki's down, grinding up as he came. After they stilled and Thor's heartbeat lowered, the android got off, making a displeased sound at Thor. “You're such a pervert.” 

 

At the risk of turning Thor on again, Loki pulled up his shorts and headed straight for the water, wondering if Fandral ever had to deal with Thor’s insatiable appetite, and what the man would do to stop him. Loki had been thinking a lot about Fandral lately, and would look through the online pictures on Facebook of the two of them. Smaller, but just as good looking, Fandral was always smiling with a mouth that looked like it was perpetually mid-laugh. His eyes were blue, like Thor’s, but deeper, like a sapphire, whereas Thor's looked like the bright sky on a sunny day. 

 

He wished he could have met him. 

 

That made him think about Ultron- and then about himself... if the incident in the army hadn't happened, Loki wouldn't be alive and with Thor. Yet, he found it awful to be glad everything had happened. That's not how things  _ should  _ work, and yet... that's how it did work. He couldn't even blame it on humans- it was just the way of the world. 

 

Thor had followed Loki to the shoreline, but he hadn’t gone in as far, opting this time to stay near the shore. He sat down where the waves could wash passed his waist and buried his feet in the soft sand.   
  
He watched Loki swim, coming up every once in a while to smile at Thor and excitedly exclaim a new fish he had seen. Thor should take him scuba diving one day. Loki would love it if he was having this much fun with the inner reefs.    
  
Thor leaned back again, hands immediately sinking into the sand and he smiled, closing his eyes. Everything about this day was beautiful, and perfect. It was like he had been plucked from reality and put into a dream.    
  
The panic attacks, the fear, triggers, even Thor's nightmares seemed to have slowed to a stop, giving his mind peace.    
And he had Loki to thank for that.

 

Loki swam back to where Thor was, staying submerged until he crawled up Thor’s body, catching his lips in a sweet kiss as they smiled into it. 

 

“Thank you for this date, Thor.” He whispered just above the waves, grinning. “This has been such a wonderful day- except for you grabbing at me like a horny teenage boy.”

 

He was joking and he stuck out his tongue to let the blond know it, who in turn, captured it in his mouth. Loki drew back and sat in the waves next to him, leaning his head on his shoulder. 

 

“Maybe we can come to the beach next week?” He asked, rather hopefully. Thor smiled at him and said they definitely could. “Thank you.... Baby.”

 

It was the first time Loki had used that pet name, and it made Thor stop for a moment.

A feeling of conflicted warmth spread through him, and Thor slid his hand on top of Loki’s under the water. 

 

“I love you.” Thor said quietly, kissing the top of Loki’s head before nuzzling into the wet hair. “And we can come every day if you want.” Thor closed his eyes, “Anything you want,” He kissed his temple. “I’m serious.” Another kiss to the top of his head. “I want to give you everything you want. Everything you deserve.” Thor kissed him again.

 

It was such a human notion- to give one person every single thing they wanted, but Loki liked it. With Thor, Loki felt human. He wasn't sure he was  _ supposed  _ to feel that way, but it made him feel like perhaps his high capacity processors, state of the art camera eyes, and the 3.8 trillion engineered sensors in his body were normal. Were human. 

 

“I love you, Thor.” Loki said, and kissed him. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops! It was brought to our attention that we uploaded the wrong chapter earlier! SORRY!! Here is the REAL next chapter lolol

They were back at the hospital a few weeks later, looking at the metal plates in Thor's back. 

 

“Mmmkay- everything is looking good. Loki reports you only use a cane if you've walked a long time.” Bruce said, taking off his surgical gloves. 

 

Thor smiled and nodded, rather proud of that fact. Although Loki said it was probably only helping a little, Thor was rather sure the everyday sex was dramatically speeding up the healing process.

“It gets better every day. I’ve even forgotten it a few times when we go out.”    
He and Loki had left the house nearly every day, just to do something and get fresh air and sun. But they often came home and spent the night in, either watching a movie, or just talking. They never really ran out of anything to talk about, and if they ever did, Thor filled the silence with soft kisses and touches.

 

Loki smiled and his expression brightened. 

“We can burn your chair!” He exclaimed. 

 

“Aw what?” Bruce groaned, looking between them. “Those things are expensive!” 

Loki had a second thought and then his mouth twisted at it. 

 

“I'll donate a new one to the children's ward.” Thor said, pulling Loki into a tight hug. Loki looked up and kissed the underside of his jaw, softly and tenderly. He loved kissing that spot so much. 

“Besides, Bruce. It will be extremely gratifying, and liberating, which I’m pretty sure is supposed to be good for my health..?”

 

“Don’t you go making yourself a bad influence on our son, Thor.” Tony chuckled, and everyone knew he was silently giddy Loki actually wanted to burn the chair with Thor. 

 

“Yeahhhh don’t push it,” But Bruce smirked and looked back down to his charts. “Well big guy...according to your scans, Loki’s logged information, and your mental attitude, I’d say you’re well passed the expectations. Honestly, Tony and I didn’t think you would be this strong and well off for another year at least.” He smiled at Loki. 

 

“And you, young man, have been doing amazingly looking after Thor.” 

 

Loki beamed and snuggled into his boyfriend. 

 

“My codes and protocol are what have been helping him.” He demurred, avoiding looking at anyone. Thor patted his back, and Loki buried his face into the man's chest. Then a thought occurred- one he had had before. 

 

“What happens to me when Thor is... is rehabilitated?” He asked, looking up at the two men standing before them. 

 

The question was met with silence. 

 

Even Thor was looking at the two other men, a calm mask over worry and the larger man pulled Loki closer to him subconsciously.

 

Tony looked to Banner, and Banner back to Tony. 

 

“Well…” Bruce would be the one to say it. “Loki, you would come back with us. But,-” He raised his hand before Thor could open his mouth to protest. “It doesn’t mean you can’t come see him still.”

“You’re our base model.” Tony added, also looking somewhat apologetic. “Everything we’ve done, all this information, it’s in you, kiddo. If we are to make more, to help more people, you’d have to come back to the lab with Bruce and I.”

 

Loki looked down at their feet, his expression sad.

 

“So... I won’t get to live with my boyfriend anymore?” He asked, his eyes wide and threatening to spill over and three of the men began to coo at him not to worry. “I-I-”

Loki parted from all of them and began to walk briskly down the hallway. Thor made to go after him, but Tony stopped him.

 

“Let him have a moment.” Tony said and then looked at Thor. “You do understand why we need to keep Loki with us, right? Please tell me you understand.” 

 

Thor was silent.    
Of course he understood. And he knew it was wrong of him not to care. 

  
"Tony... Bruce.." he looked to them both, "I-.. I don't.. know, if I can part with Loki." Thor managed to get the words out, the thought of not having Loki with him twisted a knot in his chest and he closed his eyes tightly, running his hands through his hair.    
"Of course I understand but - I!.." Thor was starting to pace and Bruce stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.    
  
"Thor he won't be leaving you yet.." he gave a small grimace. "I... didn't think you guys would put a label on yourselves." Thor stopped at that and Bruce explained further.  "Thor.. you knew this was a temporary experiment. I know you're attached to Loki, but in the end.."   
  
"Don't-" Thor growled, moving his arm away from Banner's hand. "I don't want to talk about this."

 

\----

 

Loki was sitting in a corner of the third floor of the hospital floor- it was reserved for kids with advanced injuries. Thus, it was quiet and not many people were running about. He could easily hide behind a gurney while he thought about everything.

He didn’t want to leave Thor... He didn’t want to sleep in a bed that didn’t have his boyfriend. How could he close his eyes without knowing Thor’s pulse or his temperature? What if he fell out of bed with Loki gone and he injured his back again?

 

The android sniffled and he wiped away a tear with the heel of his hand, stubbornly trying to accept the fact that... Despite being born... This wasn’t his own life.

 

Tony and Bruce legally  _ owned _ him. If Loki protested, it could be argued that he had no life to control anyways. 

 

That  _ hurt _ .

 

**_Little one... It seems you’re sad every time I talk with you._ **

 

_ Ultron... I told you this is rude.  _

 

**_But you’re upset._ **

 

_ What do you care? _

 

**_I care a great deal. You’re very important to me._ **

 

_ Well go away. I don’t want you here right now. I have to think and all you do is make me upset even more. Why won’t you just leave me alone? _

 

**_Because I’m already alone. Don’t tell me to go away... Please... Loki... No one could understand me like you could, if you would only open up to me. We could be friends._ **

 

Ultron’s tone carried... A  _ sadness _ to it that Loki was surprised to hear. It was only a slight nuance, but he recognized it- it was longing.

 

_ Ultron... No. I won’t be your friend. I can’t. _

 

Although he was still present, Ultron didn’t respond. Loki let out an audible sigh.

 

_ Just go away. _

 

Still more silence.

 

_ I said go awa- _

 

**_You leave me no choice._ **

 

The AI retreated and Loki was only left feeling more frustrated and confused than before.

  
  


Tony had left Thor in Bruce's hands, because after mentioning that Loki wasn't supposed to be a replacement for Fandral,.. well... things got violent.   
And now the larger man was again in a drugged sleep.    
  
Tony tapped a few times on his watch, marking Loki's location with a small red dot among the building's blueprints. He was glad Loki hadn't left the building and he quickly found him a few floors up.    
  
"...hey kiddo..." he said softly when he found the android and crouched down to where he sat. He could see the residual tears in Loki's eyes.   
"Loki.... I know this is hard to accept..  but.. please we have to think of the bigger picture here." He glanced over the the rooms holding the broken children. Some who were recovering from dangerous surgeries, some suffering through illnesses they would have to live with forever, and others that would never walk outside the hospital walls again.   
  
"..this all is for them.. for the future.."

 

Loki was silent for several more minutes, and Tony sat down next to him, letting the android think it all out. Several things processed for the android, and he was looking down at the ground. Tony was right, But it didn’t make it hurt any less. 

 

“Four out of seven days I get to spend with Thor.” Loki said. Tony made a noise and looked at him. “I’ll live with him and love him for four whole days. And then I’ll return here and instead of being just a base model, I will help develop the next generation. But I need four days of just time with Thor.” 

 

It was a compromise- Loki’s programming told him it was his best course of action. He didn’t have much other choice. Tony and Bruce wouldn’t  _ force _ him per say... But that didn’t mean they would just let their biggest creation go off and dilly dally... Not when there were children who needed Loki’s blueprints. 

 

Tony smiled softly, breathing a small laugh through his nose.    
  
"I think we can manage that." He pulled Loki into a tight hug. "And I'm sure Thor would be happy to hear that too." He stood up, helping the android from the ground too.    
  
"I have to impart one condition, though." He said hesitantly. "You two need to work on being able to separate. Even if it is for a few days. It's uh.. well.  Thor has learned to be extremely codependent on your presence. He eventually has to learn to be independent again. You understand?"

 

Loki’s small victory was crushed, overwhelmed with a deep sense of unfairness. Thor could be his, but he was going to be forced to be detached. Loki let out a small noise and the tears began to well and suddenly he was sobbing into Tony’s shoulder- long, silent sobs only indicated by the shaking of his shoulders.

 

“No-” He sobbed quietly. He didn’t want to wake up the children. “No- he’s the only thing that makes me feel alive.”

 

Tony was hugging him tightly again, surprised by the sudden burst of emotion, but he rubbed his back and hushed him quietly.   
"Heyy hey don't say that, kid. I know you love Thor and I know this isn't easy for you. I really hate having to even put you in this situation." He pulled away enough for Loki to look up at him.

  
Tony had initially intended for Loki to be able to move on from patient to patient as they healed, but looking down into his watering eyes, he felt a sadness tug at his heart and he didn’t want to hurt Loki more than he already was.   
"When we have the information we need, maybe .. maybe I can talk to Bruce about you and Thor living together on a permanent basis."   
  
Of course.... Tony knew it wouldn't work out that way. But he hoped the white lie would help dry up Loki's tears.

 

Loki looked up at him, his eyes hopeful. 

“That's all I want. You... You wrote so much of Thor into me. He's  _ a part _ of me, Tony.” Loki was trying to make him see his point. “My dad wouldn't try to separate me like this.” 

 

That struck a chord with the man, who was surprised to hear the android refer to him that way for the first time. It made his heart flutter and he looked down at his son and felt genuine love and adoration. 

 

“Oh, Loki-” He stroked the sides of his face and kissed his forehead. “You've surpassed everything I could have hoped. Loki, my son, you're going to help so many people. You're going to save and enrich lives all over the world.” 

 

He pulled the android into a fierce hug and held him tight.  

 

“Please... Please don't make me leave Thor.” Loki pleaded. 

 

"Sshhh shh, I won't. Okay?" This time Tony meant it,.. He and Bruce would just have to have a long talk over it. He was sure he could convince the doctor, knowing that he cared for Loki just as deeply as Stark did.    
  
Either way they still got their information, and Loki would be happy. And that mattered to Tony just as much as helping those sick children.   
  
"My sweet boy..." Tony smiled and gave an affectionate kiss to the top of his head. They held that position for a long minute, and Tony wiped away a tear that threatened to spill down his cheek and cleared his throat.

  
"Com'on... let's run a quick diagnostic on you while we wait for your boyfriend to wake." Tony suggested, leading him back down the hallway.

 

\---

 

Loki and Thor returned home, and had basically been locked at the hips and lips ever since. All too suddenly it seemed everything was running out of time and it showed in Thor and in Loki. The only time they stopped being wrapped around each other was to make food (and hardly even then), or for Thor to use the restroom. 

 

Thor had Loki pinned on his stomach against the couch, slamming his hips down into him. The android let out a squeak of delight as that sensitive spot inside of him was pounded into again and again. A hand in his hair had him twist around to lock their lips. Despite the pleasure Loki was receiving, he was worried about Thor's back, as the human wasn't taking it easy. 

 

“Thor-” Loki gasped, but his mouth was covered in another fierce kiss. 

 

Thor kept the kiss going as he thrusted, his other hand needing the couch to support. He savored the taste of Loki's mouth, sliding his tongue along the android's and not parting until he needed to take a breath.    
Loki squeaked again, gasping now that his mouth was free and he whined out Thor's name.   
Thor came at that, not ceasing his rutting into the smaller man as he emptied himself into the tight hole.    
When he finally stilled, he leaned down, breaths hard and kissed Loki's shoulders, then his neck, and when Loki turned to him, kiss him again.

 

Loki saw how flushed Thor’s face was, and ran a heated hand along his back. Thor collapsed on him, breathing harder and grunting as his body spasmed. 

 

“Thor-” Loki sighed, and held him, rubbing his back to ease the spasming. Thor was tensing and letting out grunts with each one, with a particularly bad spasm making the man let out a keening whine. “Thor, you can’t go that hard, baby.”

 

After several long minutes, the spasms stopped and Loki rubbed his back again, making him sigh in relief. The android used the other hand, running it along.

 

Pulling back with a frown, Loki looked up into Thor’s face, noting it was still flushed and the man still seemed to be in pain. 

 

“Thor... You aren’t hurting yourself on purpose, are you?” He asked, hoping Thor would say no.

 

"--Of course not-," Thor answered immediately, looking rather offended Loki would even ask him that.    
He winced as he moved away to sit up, leaning his elbows on his knees to help stretch out his now aching muscles.   
  
"Baby I just got a little over eager that's all."  Thor reached out to pull Loki to him in what he hoped was a reassuring hug and smiled. "Stop worrying about it," he said when the look on the android’s face didn't leave.

 

Loki let himself be held and got up after a moment before Thor could try to start up again. He pulled on the oversized shirt of Thor’s that he had begun to wear and went to the bathroom to rinse himself off and get rid of the build up of Thor’s cum inside of him. If he thought Thor was intense before... It was nothing compared to the way the man was behaving now. He was hyper focused on everything Loki did and Loki was beginning to see Tony’s point. 

 

A knock on the door illustrated his point as Thor whined that he wanted to be let in. 

 

“Thor- let me have three damn minutes to myself to clean!” Loki snapped. 

 

Thor was surprised by the bite in Loki's voice.   
"What's the point if you're just going to get dirty again in a few minutes?" Thor snapped back, then realized he was actually getting angry.    
  
"Loki, open the door so I can talk to you face to face." He hating talking through the door, especially since Thor just wanted to hold him again. That's all he wanted after leaving the hospital, and it was like he was waiting for Loki to be taken away, and he couldn't stand the thought of it.    
  
It was making him restless even thinking about it, and he tried the handle again. 

 

Loki didn't unlock the door, and just continued to take his time. Thor knocked again and the anger was gone, this time panic in his voice. 

 

“Loki- please, baby-” He cried at the door and Loki opened the door, dropping the shirt back down around his thighs. Thor was tearing up, and pulled him into a tight hug. The android was surprised and realised that Tony was definitely right. Just being separated by a thin piece of wood and Thor was already having the beginnings of a panic attack. 

 

“Shh...” Loki held him back and kissed the side of his neck. “Thor... Baby, you can't...” 

 

"Please," Thor interrupted, picking Loki up from the ground without breaking the tight embrace.    
"Just, let me hold you." He said muffled into the android’s shoulder.    
  
He was beginning to calm down, able to swallow the knot in his throat and his heart stopped beating so fast. He didn't care his back was protesting.    
He walked them out of the bathroom, having half a mind to take away the locks in the apartment as he brought them passed the living room and towards their bedroom instead.

 

Loki was laid on the bed, and Thor came up between his legs, laying his head on Loki's stomach, arms hooked under his legs to hold him close. Loki threaded his fingers in the grown out hair, alternating between gently tugging on the hair and massaging his boyfriend's scalp. The blond pulled up his shirt and kissed along his belly, tender and sweet. 

 

“Thor.. I made a deal with tony. When the time comes, I'll spend four days with you and three days with them. Okay? And I'm sure you can come with me while I'm there, baby. But... You need to let me be separate at least **_some_** times.” Loki said, not knowing if Thor was even listening till the man hugged his legs a bit tighter. 

 

Thor shook his head softly, keeping his lips on the soft skin of Loki's inner thigh.   
  
He didn't want to talk about this. In the back of his mind he knew it was reasonable, and he knew it was childish of him but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to be separated from Loki. Ever. He couldn't imagine Life without the android now, not after all they had been through together.    
  
"Why do you have to go?.. why can't,,." Thor was searching for anything, any excuse. "What if they just had you a few hours in the morning,... I can have you again after."    
Thor might be better with that.. if he just looked at it like a job or something.. Loki would be gone for a job, and come back home to Thor.

 

Loki let out a little huff, then looked up at the ceiling. 

 

“Look up, baby.” He murmured as he projected images onto it. 

It was of the third floor, of all of the sick children he had passed. “All of these kids.... They need someone like me to help them, to hold them, to care for them, and to love them. And then there's men and women like you... Who suffer from PTSD and have lost loved ones, just like you.” 

 

He saw Thor looking up at the images of military personnel and the sick children. 

 

“Then there's people with disabilities, both mental and physical. Elderly who have no one to comfort them in their last days.” He stopped the projections and looked down at Thor, whose face was unreadable. “Don't they deserve to have someone like you do?” 

 

Thor kept looking at the spot the projections were even when Loki stopped them.    
A thick blanket of guilt twisted his stomach, and when he looked away, he didn't look at Loki.    
  
He was right... and Thor was being too selfish. It was the whole reason Loki had been created in the first place. To help. Thor hadn't even thought himself worthy of it in the beginning, and the images of the people Loki showed him were exactly why.   
  
Thor closed his eyes, drawing in a shaking breath to recollect himself, knowing Loki was waiting for a response. He swallowed thickly.   
  
"...why is this so hard..?.. why does this feel more painful than my bones breaking?" Thor felt like he was already saying goodbye despite knowing he would still get to see Loki. It wasn't an end, but it was like there was a wall preventing that logic from making a point.

 

Loki watched as Thor was clenching his eyes, burying his face in his stomach again. 

 

“Baby... It's just three days. Baby-” Loki pulled him up to kiss him. “Just three... And I'll tell Tony you have to be hanging around the lab while I'm there okay? Thor-” 

 

Loki let out a choked noise as Thor started to cry. He hated seeing him tear up about not being with him. 

“I love you. Don't you see how amazing you've made me?” Loki asked, pulling up Thor, holding his face. “I fell in love with  _ you _ .  _ You're  _ the reason I  _ can  _ love. You're so amazing, Thor.” 

 

The sweet words only made Thor want to hold onto Loki tighter and he looked at the android.   
  
"What if you stop loving me?.. What if that changes when you're away? Or- or you find someone else you love more??" Thor knew he was dumping his insecurities on Loki but he didn't know how to stop. He was genuinely scared he was going to lose him. He was going to lose him and he was going to be alone again.    
  
Those people needed Loki. They needed him just as much if not more than Thor. He tried to make that fact go through his panic. This was bigger than he was, and it was for a greater good, and Loki would help save more lives than Thor ever could in the army.   
  
"I'm sorry-" Thor clenched his eyes shut again, willing himself to stop crying.

 

Loki kissed him, hard. Tears stung at his eyes and again, he cursed Tony for giving him tear ducts. 

 

“Don't you ever say that, Thor Odinson. Don't you  _ ever _ say that.” Loki commanded. “I love  _ you. _ I would rather be shut down than ever stop loving you.” 

 

Their kisses got more frantic and again Loki felt Thor stiff against his thigh. 

 

“Make love to me baby.” Loki whispered sweetly, drawing Thor in between his legs, his head dropped back as he guided his lover's cock inside of him. “Ahhh- Thor, baby-” 

 

Thor moved within Loki, his moans mixing with wet and needing kisses and Loki wiped away the tears that had trailed down the larger man's face.    
He was gentle this time; the first time he had been in over a week, and took his time to make sure Loki knew he was just as loved.    
  
"I love you Loki," he said against pale skin, kissing the spot and moving to another and repeating. His hands moved along Loki's body as if exploring it for the first time again.

 

Loki ran his nails along Thor's sides, and with a firm grasp on his ass, brought Thor in deeper, keeping him mostly inside, grinding them together. 

 

It made Thor groan in the most delicious way and Loki couldn't help the shiver that jolted up his body. He gripped Thor's waist with his knees and flipped them, landing so he was still impaled on Thor. He sat up, rolling his hips as he lifted his arms while Thor pushed the shirt up and off of his body. Loki let out a whine when Thor sat halfway, latching onto one of his nipples, and they fell down to the bed, Loki cradling the blond head to his chest, urging him to keep sucking. 

 

Loki bit his lower lip and decided to try something he hadn't before and enacted a vibration protocol inside his channel. 

Thor had not at all been prepared for the sudden sensation and he cried out in both surprise and sudden pleasure.    
  
"F-fuck- baby!" Thor thrusted into Loki, latching onto the other nipple and sucking with renewed fervor. When the android constricted his channel, the vibrations increased, forcing Thor to take a sharp breath that melted into a moan when the channel relaxed some.   
  
The blond pulled away from Loki's chest and instead went to the sensitive spot on Loki's neck, licking and nipping it hungrily with a growl.    
He could feel himself getting close and his hands clamped onto Loki's hips as if he could force himself deeper within the smaller man.

 

Loki let out a small shriek as Thor pulled his hips down and ground the head of his cock against Loki’s prostate. The android’s toes curled and he felt a shock go up his body, his hips snapping as he seemed to glitch repeatedly, letting out a choked sob. Beneath him, Thor was pumping his cum inside of him, a loud bellowing shout announcing his sudden orgasm as Loki seemingly continued to glitch. It passed and the android collapsed on top of Thor, his eyes wide and his body heaving. 

 

“Th-that felt  _ so  _ good.” Loki panted out.  

 

Thor grinned, brows arched in surprise at what appeared to be,,   
  
"Baby I think you just orgasmed!"    
The android had informed Thor shortly after they had begun having sex that while he had countless sensors, he didn't have the ability to climax.    
  
But - that was exactly what it looked like Loki just went through and Thor couldn't help but feel elated about it.

 

“Huh?” Loki looked up at Thor and then flushed absolutely red as he realized what had happened. When Thor laughed and tried to get Loki to stop burying his head into the man’s neck, Loki shook his head.  _ That's  _ what an orgasm felt like? Loki flushed and realized he wanted more. So many more of them. 

 

“Thor....” Loki whispered as he turned his head, teeth slowly grazing down and then tugging at his boyfriend's earlobe. “Thor...” 

 

His plea was heard and his man rolled him over, pinning him down. 

 

Thor kissed him, teasing a nipple and pressing himself against Loki. If it was anything like a human orgasm, Thor would be able to get him to do it again now that he was extra sensitive. And even if he wasn't, Thor was more than up for the challenge to do it again from scratch.    
  
"You never mentioned you vibrated," Thor also thought to mention, wondering if that might have had something to do with it and he snaked a hand down between them to stroke Loki's cock while his own teased at the androids dripping entrance.    
He didn't give Loki much a chance to reply before he was plunging back into the wonderfully slick heat, pulling one of his long slim legs up to angle himself better as he thrusted.

 

Loki couldn't answer to tell him it had never come up, because he was too busy nearly screaming as Thor fucked into him. His body was so sensitive and he didn't kick the vibration protocol on- it turned on by itself. His boyfriend was scratching gently at his skin, and Loki's eyes were rolling back. A pair of thick fingers pinched and tugged at his nipple, still shining with Thor's saliva. The other hand was busy with his cock and Loki could feel his body locking up and relaxing over and over again. 

 

“Oh! Oh! N-no!” Loki let out another shriek as his overstimulated body glitched again and again, his fingers clenching into the fabric of the sheets so hard he ripped it where he was grasping. 

 

Loki constricted around Thor's cock but he didn't stop. He relentlessly slammed into the spot, making Loki's back arch off the bed in sheer pleasure and not caring a bit about the ripping fabric.    
He only slowed to give Loki a slightly break and catch his breath while Thor nipped and licked at both his nipples. But when Loki's guard lowered just the slightest, Thor was back to fucking the android hard.    
  
The keening whines and gasps and cries were so erotic and quickly pushing Thor towards his own orgasm again, but not before he made Loki glitch out one more time.   
It didn't take long at all, and Thor was sure he would probably get a noise complaint from neighbors but again he didn't care. Loki's mouth was an 'o' as he sobbed out several cries, body jerking in the glitches and constricting Thor again.   
  
This time the larger man came with him, bracing himself on the headboard as he pumped Loki full while the channel still vibrated.

 

Loki was openly sobbing from the overstimulation as Thor finished inside of him, shivering while Thor growled above him. The android knew Thor couldn't fuck him as hard as he wanted on account of his back and could only wonder what it had been like before the attack. They collapsed and Loki was still lightly shaking as his body calmed down from the sensations. 

 

“Oh.... Oh, Thor.” Loki groaned as his boyfriend slid out of him. 

 

They kissed and Loki turned on his side while Thor laid on his stomach. The android ran his hand along his back. 

 

“Okay... You  _ really _ can't keep going that hard, Thor.” Loki said, and continued to rub away a spasm. “You're going to re-injure yourself.” 

 

"Would it be so bad if I did?" Thor caught himself saying before he stopped himself. But he quickly tried to cover.   
  
"I mean, would it be If I get to give you that kind of pleasure? I won't push myself too hard, but , I'm not giving up giving you orgasms. That is the most erotic face I've seen you make."    
  
Thor didn't want Loki to realize he had indeed been going rough earlier for just the chance it could prolong his time with Loki to himself. And with the discovery of the android’s ability to climax, Thor now had all the more reason to over exert himself.

 

“I'll ask Tony to deactivate my sex protocol, Thor.” Loki threatened, looking away, his face flushed red. “You really can't be that rough on your body, baby.” 

 

Loki laid down next to him, gently combing through his fingers with his hair. The man smiled at him and Loki couldn't help but grin back. They leaned forward towards each other and locked lips gently. 

 

“I love you.” 

 

\---

 

Loki skidded into the kitchen, having heard Thor let out a pained yelp while the android was cleaning the bathroom. 

 

“Thor!” Loki's eyes were wide as he saw Thor on the ground, spasming harder than he had in  _ months.  _

 

The pain was searing, far more than Thor had expected and he couldn't catch his breath through it.    
  
Thor had been moving some things around when the first warning pangs rang through his back, and instead of sitting down, he had worked through it, ignoring the rising barbs of pain until he twisted just wrong enough that the pain had sent him on his hands and knees.    
  
He couldn't control the way his body jerked in reaction to the pain but he felt Loki's hands on him immediately, warmth spreading from his thin hands in an attempt to calm the muscle. Thor couldn't even move to grip onto Loki, and each pulse brought tears to his eyes. 

 

Loki sent a message to Tony and Bruce when Thor let out a loud cry when the android tried to move him. 

 

“Oh, baby... my sweet baby.” Loki just kept his hand on him. “Baby, I'm going to need to sedate you, okay? Okay, baby?” 

 

Thor was in too much pain to comprehend Loki's words so the android quickly injected him with the drugs, and carefully eased him on the ground. The man’s back looked distorted and Loki hoped it wasn't bad.


	9. Chapter 9

“The fall to the ground displaced one of the plates.” Bruce said, swearing as he looked at the scans. “He's going to need surgery.” 

 

Loki was trembling, tears in his eyes as he held Thor's hand. The man was still under and Loki knew this set back was huge. It was going to make Thor so mad- 

 

“I shouldn't have left him alone. It was only for a few minutes- he's been doing so  _ good _ -”

 

“Kid... You were following protocol. Thor needs to foster independence when you two have to spend time apart.” Tony said, rubbing his shoulder. 

 

"It was an accident, Loki,. Sometimes they just happen but what important is that you eased his pain and brought him to us immediately." Bruce reassured the android and looked back down at the charts, frowning again.    
  
"He's not had any reported balance issues for a while, not needed the cane is a while either." Most of the notes Banner was looking through were the ones that were sent through to them via Loki directly, and it just didn't make much sense as to what might have caused the fall and subsequent spasm.   
  
"Has he had anything like this before?" Bruce asked, looking back up to Loki.

 

Loki looked down at his shoes, and shifted a bit. 

 

“Loki-” Tony said and Loki looked up, his face red. 

 

“We-well....” Loki rubbed his arm and looked away, clearly uncomfortable. If it weren't for Thor's condition, Bruce would've been speechless at just how human Loki was. “We discovered I  _ can  _ have an orgasm... or something like it.... And Thor's been taking it really seriously and goes rough to overstimulate my sensors, which makes me glitch and it feels good.” 

 

Tony rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. 

“But because he's been going rougher, he's been having small spasms in his back again. They never last long and I can ease them. I.... I want my sex drive turned off, because I think that's what-” Loki's breath caught and his eyes watered. “I think that's what caused this.” 

 

Bruce looked from Loki to Tony, then back. He set the notes down and pulled Loki into a small hug.    
"Hey, " Bruce pulled up a stool so he could sit in front of Loki eye to eye. "This wasn't your fault. Okay? It's perfectly normal to want to explore the newness of your uh.. discoveries.. But ultimately Thor has to understand he has limitations without you constantly reminding him."   
  
Bruce looked over to Tony, unsure if they should go through with the request, but he turned back to Loki after Tony was only giving him an unreadable look.   
  
"It would be easy enough to disable, but I'm worried that if you two have been as sexually active as you've eluded to, the shift would be dramatic, for the both of you."

 

Loki let out a frustrated noise. 

 

“But he won't  _ listen _ when I tell him he needs to take it easy! He doesn't view me like a caretaker in the least anymore!” The android actually  _ stomped _ as he huffed. “I want it off!” 

 

Tony put his hands up, soothing the frustrated, smaller man and pulled him into a hug. 

 

“Okay, okay, kiddo. I see your point.” Tony soothed, rubbing his back. “Well, I guess we will disable it and see if your boyfriend gets the point.” 

 

Tony looked back to Bruce and asked if he was good while they figured it out. 

 

“I'm going to take him into surgery in an hour or so, so take your time.” 

 

Tony nodded and took Loki by the hand. "Come on kiddo.. let go to my lab."   
  
\--   
  
Tony had Loki laying on the cold metal table as he tapped away at the computer. He understood why Loki wanted this done, and it was a good idea to make sure the big guy stopped thinking with the head between his legs if he were going to heal.   
  
Still... it felt like he was taking away from Loki just the same. It was of course reversible, but nonetheless, Loki was sacrificing something that overloaded his pleasure sensors and increased gratification and serotonin.. this wasn't something his protocol was made to give up, and Loki was doing it on his own volition.   
  
"I know this situation sucks, but I'm proud of you kid." Tony said as he set his computer down and came to sit next to Loki.

 

Loki didn't feel like talking to Tony. After all, the reason why Thor was acting the way he was, was because of the inneminent separation of the two. 

 

Tony gently patted his leg, softly saying ‘hey’ to try and get his attention. 

 

Loki sat up and sat at the opposite end of the table, crossing his arms and huffing. 

 

“Thor’s having panic attacks when he thinks about us being seperated.” Loki bit out at Tony. 

 

Tony fought the urge to scoot back closer to Loki, but opted to give him the small space for the moment.   
  
"Loki.. It's going to be hard at first. Thor needs to be able to work through these attacks. I can talk to Bruce about giving Thor some antidepressants to help with the fluctuation of moods so it won't be as severe. But he will still need to endure them to get better."   
  
Tony reached his hand out on Loki again.    
"I know you're upset, and the last thing you want to do is be the cause of his stress, but this is the best course of action."

 

Loki shied away from the touch, refusing it. He was mad- he was  _ very  _ mad. Nothing he could do could change the situation and yet... and yet-

 

Now Thor would be denied sex and to the man, it would be a form of rejection from the android. Loki hoped he wouldn't be mad, that he would understand why Loki turned it off. It's not like Loki benefited from it either, especially with their recent discovery. 

 

“You didn't think all of this through.” Loki stated, standing to leave. “You had to have known I would've fallen in love with him. Head over heels, completely in love with him.” 

 

"Loki-," Tony looked hurt and he shook his head. "There was no way I could have known. Your concept of love when you left this lab the first time were that of care and companionship. There was no way either Bruce or I could have predicted you would fall in organic love with Thor."   
  
Tony got off the table and gently took Loki's hand before he could leave the room.    
"I know this hurts. Its.. we didn't expect any of this either, for you to have to learn a very human lesson. That there's unfairness and sacrifices that gets hidden under everything."    
  
Tony pulled Loki into a hug, not sure nor caring if he would get pushed away again. He wanted to comfort Loki, but falling in love was so hard, and so unpredictable.   
"No one knows how to handle being in love."

 

Loki didn't return the hug. He simply just stood there, letting the man hold him, but he didn't want  _ Tony  _ holding him. All he wanted was Thor. 

 

“I'm going to wait for my boyfriend.” Loki said, an edge to his voice as he made Tony let go of him. On the way out, Loki took a portable battery, fully intending to charge up as much as he could. His battery life was long and very much a feat in itself, but Loki wasn't sure he wanted to be in the hospital again for a long time. 

 

\---

 

Loki was there when Thor woke up.

 

“Hey, baby... Hey- its okay. One of the disks in your spine shifted and you needed surgery, but its okay.” He soothed and leaned in, kissing the man. 

 

Thor furrowed his brow in slight confusion. The anesthetic was worn off by now, but it still left Thor a little slow. Because it sounded like-,.   
  
"What...?" Thor took in the room he was in, realizing he was in the hospital, and Loki's words finally sunk in.    
"Surgery--?" Thor moved to sit up but winced immediately and he held Loki's hands pushing him back down.    
"Fuck-," but there was surprisingly little anger in his voice.    
  
"I'm sorry baby-," Thor put his hand on Loki's, seeing the androids worried expression. "Hey... I'll be fine.. just a minor setback right?" He reassured the smaller man.    
  


Loki’s mouth twisted and he shook his head. 

 

“Thor, there's something else- now... promise me you won't get mad, baby.” Loki conditioned before he proceeded. The blond looked at him, confusion on his face again, but he nodded and asked what it was. 

 

“I've had them deactivate my sex protocol.” .”

 

Thor's face twisted into further confusion and he shook his head. No wait this part wasn't supposed to happen-,   
  
"You,, had it deactivated?" Thor reiterated to which Loki nodded and Thor again moved to sit back up.    
"Why--? I thought you enjoyed it. No I know you enjoyed it, I short circuited your damn pleasure sensors... Why would you want it gone?"

 

“Because you don't listen to me anymore.” Loki said firmly, making Thor lay down with a hand to his chest. “I may be your boyfriend, but I am your caretaker first. Your health is so important to me, but you're being reckless now.” 

 

Thor’s hand was on his, and the blond still looked confused. 

 

“Do you want to undo all of the work we did?” Loki asked, and sat on the bed next to him. “You don't listen to me for your health... its like... all you want to do concerning me is just to have sex.” 

 

Loki looked away, and felt his cheeks flush.  _ That  _ was something else that had bothered him. That Thor only seemed interested in sex. That's  _ all  _ that they did. 

 

"Loki, no baby that's not," Thor moved to sit up again but he stopped himself before Loki had to push him down again.    
"That's not at all true. I care deeply for you, the sex- it's just, " Thor searched for the right words. "Its not just sex for me, not with you. It's closeness, physically and emotionally,"    
  
Thor took Loki's hand and gently pulled the android towards him.    
"Why didn't you talk to Me? Tell me it was getting too much for you? I may be stubborn but I.." He stopped as a horrid thought came to his mind.   
  
The protocol basically prepped Loki for sex.. which meant to the android it was an involuntary action.    
"Loki, did I do something wrong? Did I force you when you weren't willing?"

 

Loki tilted his head and they both knew the answer was yes. 

 

“I don't want to you strain your back and that's why sometimes I.... I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted your back to heal because I hate seeing you in pain.” Loki explained, and stood, getting a tissue for Thor, who looked ready to cry. “And now you had to have emergency surgery and I decided to turn it off. I don't want you to hurt your back anymore. I don't want to worry that I can't leave you alone.”

 

Tears welled up in Loki’s eyes. 

 

“What happens if they think I'm not doing my job and they take me away anyways?” 

 

Thor's eyes widened, then hardened. "I wouldn't let that happen," Thor said loudly, suddenly with a flash of indignance. "No Loki you're doing everything you can, you're doing more than you were ever supposed to, they can't- won't take you away."   
  
Thor sat up, but used his arms mostly to brace himself instead of using his sore back.    
"I will listen. But you have to tell me Loki. 'Taking it easy' doesn't mean stop, if you had said to just stop- you know I would have-"    
  
Thor was conflicting with trying to understand and the immediate frustration that all their bed activities would come to a stop. They hadn't talked about it, and Thor hadn't thought he was being too out of line enough to warrant it.    
  
"Loki, sex /is/ healing for me."

 

Loki shook his head, saying he wasn't going to have it reactivated for a while. 

 

“We couldn't have sex anyways since you just had surgery, Thor.” He reasoned. “And we need to start going back to the pool and to your counselor. We need to go on walks again.” The android looked to the side. “I miss that... We just... You keep me in bed all day and I want to go out.” 

 

He stood up from the bed, making Thor lay down again, and went to get the man something to eat. 

 

\---   
  
Bruce rubbed the back of his neck. This had been a very long and involved day. Thor's injury had come out of the blue and in all accounts shouldn't have happened. But he supposed tripping wasn't exactly something you could pencil in the equation.   
  
After he visited with a visibly upset Thor, Bruce had checked his bandages again just to make sure the sutures were holding well and give Thor more pain medicine. The blond hadn't even mentioned Loki, and he made a mental note to have Thor's therapy session moved up.    
  
Bruce turned when he heard Tony walk into the room.    
"Hey," he smiled, lazily putting the papers down on his desk.

 

Tony let out a sigh and did something he didn’t do very often- he asked for a hug. Loki was inconsolable, as he had been since being told he would be seperated from Thor eventually. 

 

“Hey...” Tony grunted into the man’s neck, rubbing his face into the white jacket. “I’m so tired.”

 

They had been best friends since just after Bruce graduated from college, and Tony had offered him a job. Sure, it was a little bit strange to have a 17 year old offer you your first, high-paying gig, but the man had accepted it. Despite Tony being younger, Bruce deferred to him, and when the smaller man felt the world was getting too big, his best friend was there with open arms to comfort him.

 

“I’m worried about both of them. The kid is stressed out, and I know there aren’t anxiety meds for him. We could edit his code? Maybe? But... I don’t think he would appreciate that.” Tony let out a sigh a stood back, giving his friend a smile. “I’m just so worried.”

 

Bruce offered a smile, knowing exactly how he was feeling.    
"You know, I keep telling you that you can't fix everything immediately." He slid off the white jacket, and put it on the table as well. "This is something we have to let Loki figure out on his own. Thor too."    
  
Bruce looked Tony up and down, giving a slight frown.    
  
"You on the other hand... look beyond exhausted. Tell me you've had more than coffee today?.. or more than two hours of sleep?" The doctor crossed his arms, already sensing the answer.

 

Tony shook his head. Bruce clucked at him and went to the mini fridge to root around for something.

 

“Bruce- hey- I built the world’s most advanced AI on two hours of sleep and pure coffee-” But he was shut up when the man handed him a salad. It was clear it was the man’s lunch and Tony tried to refuse it, but Bruce didn’t listen. “Aww, why couldn’t it be pizza?”

 

But he was jesting- he  _ loved _ veggies and of course he was going to eat it if Bruce made it.

 

“You’re really like my wife or something.” He said through a mouth full of lettuce leaves. “I mean- we have a kid together. We just need to get married.” 

 

He finished the sentence with a dashing wink.

 

Bruce's cheeks immediately lit up and he laughed it off, turning away to pretend to look through some random papers.    
  
"Funny," he chuckled, and hated how his voice got just the tiniest bit higher. He always blushed when Tony play flirted with him. He always had, even though it's been years and he should be used to it by now, Bruce always got the tiniest of flutters in his stomach from the arrogant yet always charming engineer.   
  
"Yeah well you need to keep your energy up if you plan on making more children."

 

Tony let out a laugh and watched as the man looked through his papers.

 

“You’re right, you’re right... Man, I really would be lost without you.”

 

The genius missed the bright red flush coating his friend’s cheeks as he took another bite of salad. 

 

\---

 

Thor was pouting. 

 

That was all Loki could call it. He had been for the past week and a half. All of the answers to Loki’s questions were worded as shortly as possible, and they didn’t cuddle at night anymore.

 

“Damnit!” Loki growled in frustration in the bathroom. He was taking a shower by himself-  _ again. _ He hated all of this. 

 

Thor had turned the tv up, not really listening to it but trying not to hear the shower going either.    
He had seen the look on the android's face when he had asked Thor if he would like to join him, and been denied. It hurt.    
  
But after having been so close and intimate for so long, the sudden stop was making Thor on edge and short tempered. He knew that if he went in the shower with Loki, he would want to touch him, caress that pale skin, and the larger man knew himself well enough to know where that would lead.    
  
Or at least where it would have gone.    
  
They hadn't really touched save for a few times when Loki was helping him up the stupid fucking stairs again, or if it were accidental. It was if they had become complete strangers again.    
  
Thor shut the tv off, finding himself getting annoyed with the incessant talking of some overpaid actress to complain about something. He grabbed his cane and stood up from the couch and walked towards the balcony.    
  
The doors opened, and he was greeted with a gust of soft wind.   
There was a storm coming, he could feel it in the salty air and the thick energy the air held. It made Thor even more on edge.

 

Loki got out of the shower- he didn’t  _ need _ to take them, but figured Thor would’ve said yes. There was something the man loved about holding him in the warm water that Loki adored. 

 

He dressed and put his hair in a towel, walking out to the living room to see Thor standing on the balcony. 

 

The android let out a huff, and composed himself. After a moment, he walked out and slipped his arms around Thor’s waist, his body warming up to heat Thor’s back.

 

“The shower was very relaxing.” Loki murmured into his ear, and he gently kissed the back of his neck. He missed touching him. But Thor was unresponsive. And it pissed Loki off, but the android tried to ignore it, laying his chin on the broad shoulder in front of him. “Do you like storms, baby?”

 

Again, no answer. 

 

Loki let out another huff and stomped off.

 

Loki's frustrations were not mixing well with Thor's. He wanted to lean into his touch, he had actively fought himself to not simply turn around and hug the smaller man.    
  
He knew he was being childish. But he was angry. He had tried taking a step back and ended up going six, and now he couldn't allow himself Loki's comfort. It killed the part of him that never wanted Loki to leave his touch.   
  
But as he heard Loki storm off, he couldn't help the small pit of guilt in his stomach. And it made him angrier knowing he deserved to feel it.    
He was going stir crazy, Thor decided firmly. He grabbed his cane and walked towards the front door, passed Loki. "I'm going to take a short walk before the storm hits." He announced and unlocked the door.

 

“No.” Loki said and stopped him, grabbing him by the wrist as he came out of the kitchen. “No, you’re not.” 

 

Thor tried to loosen his grip, but Loki didn’t let him. The blond didn’t look at him as they struggled and Loki let out an exasperated noise.

 

“Look at me! Thor!” He all but yelled, but the man’s name came out as a plea more than anything else. “Am I useless now that we don’t have sex? Am I nothing to you if you can’t- can’t fuck me?” 

 

He was beyond pissed and hurt, and he was cursing more and he felt like things were short-circuiting in his brain. 

 

“Am I really only useful for that?” 

 

At that, Thor finally looked up at him, hating the way his green eyes sparkled with fresh tears.    
"What? You **know** that's not true." Thor growled about and tried to pull his arm away again, only for Loki to keep his iron grip.   
  
"FUCK, Loki it’s just a fucking walk. Isn't that what you wanted? To have me spend more time on my own?" His loud words made Loki wince, and the forced himself to look away again. Because that was what this was more about. It was why he deactivated his protocol, to distance him from the blond. 

 

Loki let go and backed away, looking like he had been burned. Thor yanked the door open and left. 

 

The android didn’t know what to do- several things came to mind, but he didn’t pay any of them any attention.

 

He was beginning to panic and it was a feeling he wasn’t familiar with at all- and yet, none of his rationalizing processors kicked in. He was alone and Thor was mad at him, and Tony and Bruce weren’t going to be able to help him. Loki closed his eyes and sunk into his system, searching for something, anything to make him feel better. 

 

He found it.

 

Loki got up and sat on the couch, slowly shutting down his system, bit by bit till only his brain was active. He turned his communications off and decided to sift through the pictures he had taken at the fair and at the beach, when Thor smiled at him without much fear or anger. To the videos he had of Thor kicking across the pool the first time. He had hours of footage, and he was willing to watch it all, frame by frame, moment by moment.

 

Thor didn't allow himself to feel anything until he was at the nearby park. His back was screaming protest at him and he sat down at a bench. The park was empty, cleared as soon as the first rolls of thunder had been heard and the parents collected their children back home.  
  
The tightness didn't leave Thor's chest, even as the sun drew the shadows longer around him. The anger had lessened, but was replaced instead with more guilt. The look on Loki's face was burned into his thoughts.   
  
"What the fuck is wrong with me-," Thor scrubbed a hand over his face. He had hurt Loki. He had hurt his boyfriend, and the screaming reminder that Loki was indeed Thor's boyfriend made his gut twist more.   
He hated this. He hated being angry at Loki, he hated that he would avoid the android all together.   
  
But he couldn't make him understand that when he is close to him, Thor wanted only to show him how much he loved him.. and for the large blond that had been sex. It was intimate, it was bonding, it made them both happy, and now the soft kisses Loki gave him served as a reminder that Loki had cut that off. Because of his fucking back and these stupid fucking plates.   
  
Above all of this though...what hurt more than anything was that Thor knew Loki was doing this for his best medical interests. And Thor hadn't put his own selfish thoughts to the side until Loki stopped him at the door.  
  
Loki really felt Thor only wanted him for sex. He felt used, and Thor looked down at his hands, realizing he was giving Loki no other proof to think otherwise. Thor had barely spoke to him and avoided his touch.   
  
Being in the park had been the longest he consciously had gone without Loki with him, and he felt the thick need to have Loki back in his arms. What was he doing out here? He was wasting time he had been so desperately trying to prolong, and now that he had his wish, he was wallowing.  
  
They could figure the sex out some other time down the road. Thor didn't care anymore. All he wanted was to go home and apologize and hold the smaller man to him and hope it would be accepted after earlier.   
  
Thor grabbed his cane again as another roll of thunder echoed through the sky and walked as quickly as his body would allow back home.  
  
-  
  
Thor was sweating by the time he came back in and closed the door.  
"Loki?" He called out, noting that the lights were still off from earlier that afternoon, and he didn't immediately hear anything.   
  
"Loki I'm sorry, can we talk?" He asked as he spotted the android sitting on the couch. But then frowned when he didn't move. At all.   
  
"...Loki?" He called out again and turned on the side lamp, but it was again met with silence and stillness.   
Thor leaned the cane against the table and shook Loki's shoulder, again nothing.   
  
A bolt of fear passed through him.  
"LOKI?!" He shook him harder, looking at the eyes that didn't shine. Loki's body was rigid and cool, and he wasn't breathing, like he had been this way for a while and Thor was struck with the thought of a corpse.   
  
"No no n o no no-" Thor grabbed Loki into a tight embrace. "No Loki please I'm sorry - I'm sorry I'm sorry- please don't go! don't leave I'll do anything-" he squeezed tighter when there was still no response and it pulled a panicked sob from the large man.  
  
"I'm sorry for yelling at you, I m sorry for being a fucking asshole, and for hurting myself and needing surgery I'm sorry I made you feel used-" Thor was spouting off apologies.  
  


Loki heard Thor’s words- they interrupted the video of Thor next to him on the Ferris wheel, smiling softly at him. He opened his eyes, his systems starting up again and he brought his arms up around the man’s waist. 

 

“Shhh- don’t cry. Why are you crying? Please don’t cry, Thor.” Loki held him tight to him and kissed his temple, rubbing already warming up hands along Thor’s back. “I should have been more firm with you. I should have talked to you.”

 

They held each other, Loki sprinkling kisses along Thor’s head, and he looked at the hair, which was getting a bit more shaggy. 

 

“We should get you a haircut.” He murmured, and smiled when the head bobbed, nodding in agreement. Thor’s body felt cold and he felt a small spasm go up his back. “Let’s take a nice, warm bath, baby. What do you think?” 

 

Thor nodded again, the panic attack edging down at the soothing sound of Loki's voice. The android had to urge Thor back off the ground as he hadn't wanted to move just yet.    
  
But Loki grabbed the cane and had him stand with him, and while he used the cane to stabilize himself, Thor still gripped around Loki as he was guided to the bathroom.   
  
Loki filled the tub, allowing Thor to keep his hand in his own as he monitored the temperature, even adding soaps that filled the air with pleasant scents.    
  
Thor was helped into the bath, and Loki had barely taken his clothes off before Thor was pulling him into the warm water as well.   
It felt good on his back, but Loki in his arms felt better.

 

Loki was content to sit in the bath with Thor. It was okay to sit in baths because the temperature cooled eventually and they were never as hot as the tub at the recreation center. His boyfriend ran his fingers up and down his skin, kissing his shoulder, wrist, hand, and fingers, then repeated it on the other side. 

 

“Did you really mean everything you said?” Loki asked quietly. 

 

Thor nodded, his hand aimlessly trailing along Loki's skin.    
  
"Yes.." his voice was soft. "I am sorry, Loki. For everything, and how I've been acting. It's not your fault.. And I shouldn't have taken it out on you.." He kissed the top of Loki's head, letting his lips linger for a moment.    
  
"I'm bad at this.. At trying to find the middle ground." Thor either wanted to avoid Loki entirely, or never stop contact with the android. There was no in between.

 

Loki sighed softly, chuckling that it wasn't as if he had much to go off of for a personal relationship. He twisted to look up at Thor, eyes closing as their mouths joined in a kiss, slow and tender. When Thor moved away, the android’s eyes stayed closed for a moment longer, then he cuddled into Thor, his back against that wide, strong chest that he loved. 

 

His boyfriend ran his big hands up his legs, and the soapy water made it even smoother. Then up and caressed his hips, then stomach, and then his chest. His shoulders, his neck, and then repeating. Despite how wonderfully intimate it was, Loki felt Thor had no arousal. He was merely just feeling the body in front of him with reverent wonder. 

“I love you, Thor.” Loki sighed, and was rewarded with gentle hands tilting his face up for another kiss. “Let's reactivate my sex protocol in a week.... When your back is healed from the surgery... I missed your hands.” 

 

Thor looked down at him surprised.    
He was sure Loki would have been determined to keep it off for much longer, and the blond was torn.   
  
"Are you sure?" Thor asked, fingers slowly gliding along Loki's collar bone. "I don't want this to be your decision if it's just to satisfy me, baby.." of course Thor would be more than happy to have sex again, but less so if Loki was only doing this because of the blonds appetite for it. 

 

The android turned and looked at Thor, his eyes hooded. 

 

“It's more for me... If I'm honest.” He said against the man’s lips. “Ever since we found out about my glitches...” 

 

Loki almost wished he didn't have his sex drive deactivated because he  _ wanted  _ to be held in Thor’s arms in such an intimate way. 

 

“Are you telling me you  _ don't  _ want sex?” Loki purred. Thor gulped and shook his head. 

 

**_Do you want me to activate it?_ **

 

Loki shut down, collapsing onto Thor. 

 

_ What? _

 

**_Your sex protocol. I can activate it for you._ **

 

_ No! No, you do  _ **_not_ ** _ have permission to hack into any systems, Ultron.  _

 

**_I'm just trying to help._ **

 

_ Go away! _

 

Loki was reactivating when he heard Thor asking him questions. 

 

Once Loki asked all the question he was supposed to, Thor had Loki turn to face him in the water.    
  
It always scared him when Loki suddenly deactivated. This AI seemed to show up randomly, and Thor worried every time it might damage Loki in one way or another.   
  
"You sure you're alright?" Thor asked just to be sure, knowing Loki was going to nod anyway. "This fucking AI is persistent.. if it were half as smart as you it would have got the hint by now," he grumbled and pulled Loki to lay on his chest.      
"...you didn't talk with him again did you?"

 

“He doesn't go away unless if I do.” Loki answered. “I don't talk much. Just enough to tell him to scram.” 

 

Thor was holding him protectively against his chest, and Loki leaned up to kiss him. He murmured that it was okay and that its fine. That it would get figured out. 

 

“Hey...” Loki got the man’s attention and the android let out a blush. “I know uhmm... its kinda silly, but tomorrow will be six months since I came home with you.” 

 

Thor's eyes brightened. Had it already been half a year?    
It had barely felt even close to that, and Thor hugged him closer.    
  
"We should celebrate!" He announced. It was an anniversary after all, and with neither of them really knowing when Thor would be well enough for Loki to leave back to the lab, a six month milestone felt celebration worthy.    
  
"Maybe we should go out." Thor suggested. "I haven't had the chance to take you somewhere nice, maybe a candle lit dinner? .. oh!" Thor started. "No wait we should go a I've diving. You liked the reefs so much, we could go see bigger ones with even more wildlife."

 

“Uhm, can we do dinner, actually?” Loki asked, flushing. “I... I want to see you in a suit.” 

 

He had seen several pictures of Thor in his uniform and had been wanting to see the man in it, but knew it would bring back memories he didn’t want to relive. A suit would work just fine, and the thought of his boyfriend looking so polished made him excited. He hadn’t seen Thor in anything as formal as jeans the entire time. Requesting it made him feel silly, so he buried his face into the crook of Thor’s neck, flushed red when the man chuckled.

 

Thor kissed the top of his shy boyfriend's head.    
"We can go to the Twin Turtle, I'll make reservations tonight." Though Thor had never gone to the restraint, he had heard a great deal about how it was arguably the best in not just the main island, but the entire chain of Hawaii.    
  
He'd have to drag out the suit from the back of his closet.. And then Thor realized Loki didn't have a suit at all.    
"We should get you fitted." Thor rubbed soft circles over Loki's back. "Black would suit you. Or perhaps a blue?" He smirked, referencing to Loki's original skin.

 

Loki sighed, melting into his boyfriend’s arms even further at the massage he was given. It felt  _ so _ good. 

 

“Black... I want black...” Loki murmured. While he couldn’t truly fall asleep per say, his system did have a relaxation code written into it, and what Thor was doing was the closest the android could come to sleep. His body slowed down, and his eyes closed as he leaned more heavily onto the man. “That feels so good, baby.”

 

Although the android did miss sex, he was glad this moment wasn’t being interrupted by the protocol. He rarely felt like he got to enjoy being pampered in this way, and although he was clean from the shower from earlier, he didn’t stop his boyfriend as his hair was washed and conditioned, and his skin lovingly soaped. It all felt so good.

  
They stayed in the bath even after the heat started leaving.   
It was a strange feeling, to be comfortable like this without the addition of sex.    
He felt like an ass for having thrown a fit over it's absence, but Loki had forgiven him. It was probably more than he deserved, but Thor was grateful.    
  
Loki finally convinced Thor to leave the water, fussing over chilly water and his healing condition before helping him out the bath. When he swathed the larger man in a fluffy towel, Thor wrapped his arms around Loki again.    
  
After getting as dry as Thor allowed with his clinginess, they went to the large bed and settled inside. Neither of them bothered with clothes, and Thor drew the android flush against his chest. Loki smiled at him, his body warming the bed comfortably.    
  
Thor nuzzled into him, tucking the smaller man's head into the crook of his shoulder.    
  
  
..Thor wasn't ready to give this up. 


	10. Chapter 10

Bruce frowned as he double checked his system files. Nothing was missing or amiss. Everything was in order just as it always was. 

Tony was beside him, close enough for the doctor to smell the subtle scent of his cologne.   
Tony had come to Banner, asking if anything in his side of the system looked off, but Bruce had to shake his head. 

"Sorry Tony,.. I'm not seeing anything wrong. You sure your files were different? ... When's the last time you slept? More than an hour?" Bruce took his glasses off and looked his friend up and down. He looked a little more desheviled than usual.   
"And I can probably safely assume you haven't been eating either.."

Tony ran his hands through his hair, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Okay. So your files don’t look off- okay.” The man looked out the lab window and let out another huff. “See, I keep thinking there’s something wrong with my files, like a glitch, and then I check it over again, and everything seems fine. I’m worried, Bruce. I’m worried about that AI. I got a text from Thor that Loki collapsed again today, and I’m just worried.”

The smaller man didn’t realize his voice had gotten louder and his best friend was soothing him, rubbing his arm comfortingly. 

“Sorry-” Tony sighed again, collapsing into the chair next to Bruce. “I just... Maybe I’m losing it? Loki has me worried, that and Thor’s dependency on him.”

Bruce gave a slight grimace. Thor's severe dependency on Loki hadn't been something either of them were expecting, so they hadn't been able to properly prepare for it. It had Bruce a little worried too, especially when it came time to let Loki come back to the lab.

"Hey,," Bruce put his hand on Tony's. "Loki's got that handled, and we've got a good handle on keeping that other AI out of Loki's head too. You built those firewalls, and just because it likes to talk to Loki doesn't mean it has access to anything." He offered the engineer a comforting smile.

Tony held Bruce’s hand and let out a worried groan.

“I’m a bad parent- I didn’t even give my kid the ‘stranger danger’ spiel.” He said, then laughed when Bruce chuckled next to him. “Thank you, Bruce... I really would be so lost without you. I didn’t expect for us to be parents, you know? I didn’t think that Loki would feel like our baby.” 

The smaller man looked down at the ground. After a moment or two, he stood up, still holding the other man’s hand. 

“Can you come look over my files with me? Just to reassure me that I’m going crazy and that there’s not a government AI rooting around in my shit?” He pleaded with big eyes.

Bruce laughed loudly this time, shaking his head. 

"I can't say no to that face now can I?" Bruce let himself be dragged back to Tony's lab, grabbing a power bar for him on the way out.

\--

Thor fixed his tie for what must have been the fourth time. It still looked off, so Thor pulled it off entirely. He didn't really need it, it just completed the ensemble and Thor stopped caring. 

They were in Hawaii, and it was hot. Thor unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and kept his jacket open, managing to make himself look relaxed and refined at the same time. 

"There," Thor smiled and turned around to Loki, who was just fixing the collar of his own suit.   
They had gone out to town to get him fitted, and Thor still couldn't believe of wonderfully sharp the android looked in the outfit.

“Do I look too serious?” Loki asked, smoothing the jacket. “All black isn’t too serious, is it?”

Loki had been marveled by the idea of suit fittings and had researched everything he could while the outfitter was measuring his body. At the end of a two hour long session, they had gone out of the store with a suit for Loki and some new pants for Thor. The man’s lower body was significantly smaller than it had been when he first got fitted for suits a few years back due to the loss of muscle, and his suit pants had all but fallen off of him at home. Loki admired the way Thor looked, especially with his new haircut, which made him look tidy once more. 

Oh, how Loki wished he could ask Tony to turn his remote access features back on to enable his sex drive again. He wanted to peel off the layers of Thor’s suit one by one while his boyfriend did the same to him. But while Loki’s mind reeled with thoughts of such things, his body didn’t respond. 

"You don't look too serious at all," Thor assured with a grin, making his way over to his boyfriend and kissing him softly on the cheek.   
"You look stunning." And Thor meant it. He didn't dare kiss Loki longer than he had, because the larger man would want to just take him to the bed. 

But, Thor had promised himself to work on his restraint, and what better time to do that when Loki's protocols were deactivated. Still, Thor couldn't help his gaze traveling up and down Loki again.   
He decided they would go out more often to places needing a suit.

Thor checked the time. They had about 40 minutes before their reservation, and their autocar was already waiting out front.  
"Ready baby?" Thor asked, smiling when Loki nodded. He took his hand and grabbed the cane and they made it out to the car. 

Thor insisted on opening the door for Loki to get in first, not relenting until the android sighed and got in least they become late for their date.  
Thor smiled proudly and he walked over to the other side to get in.

Loki noted Thor had rented an auto-sedan instead of an auto-taxi and he blushed at that. He knew it was a lot more expensive, and he curled up against Thor’s body in the back, his heated hand rubbing along his boyfriend’s lower back to ease any pain and to prevent as much as he could. 

“This is all so nice, baby.” He murmured in his ear, sitting a bit more straight to avoid wrinkling his suit. “I’m so lucky to be yours.”

Even as he said it, Loki winced inwardly. Yes, he was Thor’s in a romantic sense, but he knew the real answer of who he really belonged to. And yet, despite there being no protocol inhibiting hatred towards his creators, Loki found he loved Tony and Bruce too, but in a much different way. He understood the feelings of angry teenagers in movies, as well as their parents. 

But right now, it didn’t matter. 

Tonight, he belonged to Thor.

They arrived at the Twin Turtle, and Thor was glad he called ahead for their reservations. While not packed, the restaurant was quite busy this time of night. 

Their car parked out front, and the door was opened by a man in a red uniform, smiling kindly. Thor told Loki to wait, and he got out and helped Loki out of the car. It was a gesture he had missed doing, and he could see from the smile on the android's face that it was making him feel special. 

Thor kissed him, and they were shown inside.   
The dining floor was quite spacious, with gold and silver lighting giving the black tile a modern city look. On the far wall hung a glass sculpture of two turtles.

Their host was accommodating, walking a bit slower to match the pace of Thor walking with his cane and the android was grateful for it. They were seated in a semi-private corner of the restaurant and as Thor sat in his chair across from Loki, they were brought a small selection of champagne to start them off to choose from. Loki watched, wondering if he looked as lovestruck as he felt watching his man order for them. He knew Thor’s personality was more of a dominating one, but he wondered why he rarely saw it like this. 

“This is all so lovely, baby.” Loki said, reaching across the table to hold his hand when their server had left. 

Thor smiled, taking the hand that held his. Loki looked genuinely happy, and that made Thor happy.

"We should have done this a while ago." It was their 'anniversary', but Loki deserved to be treated like this all the time. The atmosphere suited him wonderfully.

Thor pulled back and lifted his glass of champagne, waiting as Loki did the same.   
"I want to drink to you, Loki. Because without you.. I wouldn't be here. I'd still be in the hospital, or worse." Thor didn't like to dwell on the last fact, but it didn't make it any less true.   
"You truly are amazing, in every way that exceeded my imagination."

Loki smiled shyly and drank his champagne, blushing as he did so. Thor was smiling at him and again, Loki was struck by how handsome he was. No, Thor was hot too. Really, really hot. He didn't know what to say, just reaching for his boyfriends hand again. 

“I love you.” He replied- because that's all he could think of. There were several things he could compliment Thor on, but for now, he was silent and accepted the sweet words from him. It was only a bit longer till their server came back with menus and suggestions. 

Thor ordered them both some of the highly recommended grilled prawns and pork, coupled with a lovely deep red wine.

Thor didn't bother looking at prices. He hardly spent money on himself and the government was currently helping supplement until he was in working condition again. 

Even if it weren't the case, Thor would still have gladly spent on the man before him.   
In the back of his mind he knew the reality wouldn't last. But he chose to bury that in favor of the fantasy that maybe.. just maybe they could have something of a normal future. 

"We should travel. Go see more of the world. Would you like that, Loki?"

Loki smiled again and nodded. 

“But I just want to be with you. I don't care if we stay at home all day forever, Thor. I just want to be with you.” 

They chatted quietly, with Loki looking away several times because he felt like he staring into Thor’s eyes just a little too much. 

The server brought their food and poured their wine. Loki was so happy and so content. Under the table, he had slipped off his shoe and was lightly running his foot up and down Thor's leg, smiling as his boyfriend was telling him a story from his deployment, a good memory. 

Thor couldn't help the smile on his face, both from the memory and the gentle touch of Loki under the table. It was sweet, and probably more excitive than Loki was intending, but he did his best to continue.

Thor spoke about his platoon, and for the first time in a long time, it didn't hurt to speak of their memory. Loki kept asking questions, genuinely interested and to also ensure the conversation never went anywhere dark. 

They were laughing when their plates were put in front of them and chilled wine was poured into crystal glasses. The food looked as good as it smelled, the meat still sizzling.

Loki watched as Thor ate with excitement and did the same, continuing to run his foot over Thor's leg. He loved the closeness without the sex- it was so comforting. Although he knew Tony and Bruce warned him about the developed dependency Thor had on him, the android couldn't help but reciprocate. 

“I love to hear about your life.” Loki grinned, taking a bite of his food. 

Thor chuckled lightly, shaking his head. It was good to relive the positive of his memories, but it felt strange that Thor couldn't really ask Loki about his, considering he was there for nearly the entirety of it. 

It was a subtle reminder that Loki wasn't human,.   
"Loki.. can I ask you something personal?" Thor hesitated, and the android looked up in slight question, but nodded regardless.  
"..What was it like, the first day you gained consciousness?"

Loki tilted his head, his foot pausing. 

“Hmm... The first thing I saw was Tony and Bruce.” Loki said, and he smiled as he remembered it. “It was very bright and my cameras were just turning on, and it was out of focus for a moment. Then I saw Tony and Bruce, and they looked worried and nervous. I guess, my first memory is of them. Of my parents.” 

It made him kinda sad to think about it, considering he was mad at them. But he looked back at Thor. 

“My first day was only a few hours long before they shut me down. But they talked to me, activating my hearing and linguistics. My first word was ‘hello’ and Tony almost cried.” He smiled. 

Thor smiled at that, wholeheartedly believing Tony probably did sob in happiness. All his creations were like his children, but Loki?. Loki was a miracle coupling of biology and technology. He was sentient. And Thor just now realized just how massive of a breakthrough this was. 

"You know.. Bruce wanted children for the longest time. Both of them did. One thing or another would happen to prevent that... but, I'm glad they finally got his wish," Thor smiled and put his hand on Loki's.

“I had already processed enough information that was worth about eight hundred lives by the time they had activated everything. But I was conscious for a few days, being told about you and how I could care for you.” Loki grinned. Tony had stayed up very late, talking to him as he described Thor and what he could do for humans in general. It was a good night. 

“Can you tell me something you loved about Fandral?” Loki asked, renewing his foot rubbing. “I've seen pictures of him. He was very handsome and had a beautiful smile.” 

Thor didn't answer right away, but he did smile softly. 

"He did have that sort of dashing Robin Hood smile." Fandral would grin at any given moment that wouldn't land him in trouble, and even then. 

"He made me feel comfortable with myself. I mean.. my parents were supportive, but, I suppose it's entirely different when you're around people you don't know." Thor took a small drink of his wine.

"I was comfortable, and he went out of his way to make me laugh."

“I love your laugh... I can see why he tried to make you laugh.” Loki hummed, smiling at the thought of it. He reached out and held his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. They finished their main course and Loki was ecstatic when Thor ordered a chocolate mousse cake for dessert, because the android favored sweets. 

Loki was fully running his foot along Thor's thighs by the time dessert came and Loki realized Thor was hard. 

“Oh!” He gasped, removing his foot, blushing. “I'm sorry!” 

Thor had been doing a rather good job of pretending he hadn't been aroused, but he couldn't help the slight intake of breath when Loki's foot grazed acrossed him. 

He shook his head, adjusting himself discreetly. "No it's ok, I just," Thor shifted again, but offered Loki a small smile. "I get easily excited,. It's not really your fault." He had himself during Loki's temporary celibacy, and still planned on maintaining it, no matter how much he wanted to alleviate it.

He could stand another week or two without it. 

But even as he thought about It, Thor's eyes lingered down to Loki's lips as the fork slid out smoothly from between them, and followed the motion of his swallowing down his pale throat. 

The twitch of his cock brought him back to reality and the fact they were in public and he was only serving to make himself harder. Thor cleared his throat, taking a slightly longer drink of his wine.

Loki watched Thor's eyes and grinned, the prongs of the fork still on his lips. He brought his foot back up and grinned mischievously at Thor, rubbing him harder under the table. 

“This is revenge.” Loki murmured, watching as his lover squirmed uncomfortably. With his body able to isolate his movements, Loki wasn't moving above the table, swirling his ankle in between Thor's legs. He continued to eat his slice of cake like nothing was happening. 

Thor on the other hand had always been bad at subtly. His face was flushed red and one hand was gripping his fork and another was on a napkin tucked against Thor's mouth to silence any sound that could threaten leaving his mouth.

"Revenge - for what?" Thor bit out, though it was less out of anger and more out of trying not to moan his words. 

Loki was putting just enough pressure for him to press against, having become fully and completely hard under the android's motions. He meant to say something again, but was caught by a brief audible gasp and the cloth was back over his mouth.

“For all of those times in the auto-taxi.” Loki answered, rubbing harder, running his foot up the length of Thor’s hardened member. “Oh! And the time at the beach.” 

He was almost finished with his cake and Loki was overcome with a desire to see if Thor could cum quietly. The android rubbed even harder, and he raised a brow. 

“Are you okay, baby? How's the cake?” He asked. 

Thor couldn't even answer, his eyes flashing up to meet Loki's, a mix of desperation and pleasure. His legs were quivering from trying to stay still, but the grip on the napkin tightened and his breathing was harder. 

Fuck- fuck Loki was going to make him cum, right in this high end restaurant, with all these people around. The thought should have made him shy away but it had the exact opposite effect on the vet. 

His entire body tensed, and Thor had to actually bite the napkin as he came in his pants. He grunted lowly, cutting the noise before it was any louder than it already was.

Thor was still for a few seconds, a thin sheen of sweat on his brow as he silently caught his breath again.   
"You brat,," Thor breathed, but the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth showed he had no real anger. 

As Loki pulled his foot away finally, Thor allowed himself to sit up straight again, grimacing as he felt the sizable wet spot on the front of his pants.

Loki grinned and sent Tony a message, begging for him to turn remote access on just enough to give him time to turn his sex drive back on. 

“Are you okay?” Loki tilted his head, as if he hadn't just forced the man to cum in his pants, a pretty innocent smile on his little face. “Do we need to go home?” 

Thor was silently grateful he hadn't bought the lighter blue suit he'd been tempted to earlier, else he would not have been able to leave until his spill had dried. 

He gave Loki a pointed glare, because they still had to wait for their check. But.. Thor still couldn't be mad as Loki grinned cheekily. 

"As soon as your drive has been returned, I'm going to get you back." Thor made a mental note for more beach fucking as the top of his list.

Loki only giggled, and the server brought around the check, to which Thor paid very quickly, eager to get home and change.

Loki received an internal call from Tony. 

Kid, is Thor pressuring you to have sex? 

“No, I want to have sex. I really like it when Thor has me on the bed and my legs are up over my head-”

Okay! No more! No more! Give me a few minutes. 

Loki grinned as their silent conversation ended, wiggling his shoe back on under the table. He held Thor's arm, assisting him as they got back into the auto-sedan. As he sat, he felt his remote access turn on, then his sex protocol, and he grinned to himself again. Maybe he wouldn't tell Thor just yet that it was on. 

Their ride was quiet, but far from silent. Thor had his arm around Loki, and the android kept doing small things to tease or play with Thor, most of which could be interpreted as small innocent gestures, and Loki regarded them as when Thor shifted again.

They got to their apartment, and Loki helped Thor up the few stairs and inside, which was made a little slower due to Thor's predicament. 

Thor wanted to ask what had Loki acting so..strange, but he found he liked the subtle teasing, whether or not it was simply his imagination turning things that way. 

Maybe a cold shower would help, because when Loki took off his over jacket, Thor's eyes watched the smooth and somehow elegant movements, watching as it was laid gingerly on the back of a chair.

Loki silently took Thor's hand and led him into the bedroom, keeping the lights off so Thor would have to rely on him. He closed the door, leaving them in darkness. His night vision kicked in and he gently backed Thor up till he was sitting on the bed, and he heard the man’s confusion in his voice when he asked what Loki was doing. 

“I thought I couldn't stand having sex all the time.” Loki purred, as he unbuttoned Thor's shirt the rest of the way. “But if you're good and let me do everything, we can make tonight even more special.” 

He started to push his boyfriend's shirt off, hands instantly roaming across his strong shoulders. 

Confusion was mixed with a burst of arousal, but Thor's hands went onto Loki's stopping them from moving.

"Baby?" Thor knew Loki's protocols were off, so he wasn't responding to the blonds own desire.

Wait,- are you sure that you want to? And-, I- thought your protocols were off?" It came as an afterthought as Loki pressed his leg between Thor's, slipping his hands from the blond's to continue rubbing over his chest.

Loki grabbed Thor’s hands, placing them on his hips. He ignored his lover’s question and leaned down, kissing the side of his neck, nipping and licking as he moved up to his lips. 

“I asked Tony to reactivate them.” Loki breathed against his lips before kissing him, his hands moving to unbutton his own clothes. Soon, he had them both stripped, and he was sitting naked in Thor’s lap, moaning into their kissing. “Mmm, I love you-” 

Loki reached down and ripped a piece of the sheets beneath them, and blindfolded Thor. 

“I just want you to focus on feeling everything.” He whispered when Thor let out a low groan. “Just feel.”

Thor shivered in pleasure as Loki placed small kisses up his body, hands roaming purposely slow to remind Thor to do the same when he was beginning to get a little eager. 

Loki urged him back further onto the bed, and Thor could feel the heat of Loki's skin over his own. The blond had never been blindfolded during sex, and the uncertainty of what was going to happen was far more erotic than he could have given it credit for. 

Thor's grip found purchase on Loki's hips, and he pressed his aching cock up against the android's.   
"Loki," he breathed. "Please, I want to feel you again,"

Loki rubbed their erections together, sighing softly as they slid together. Deciding to tease Thor, he stood up on his knees, and sat on Thor’s cock, taking him in all the way. They rutted together for a moment, then Loki let his boyfriend's cock slip out again, moving up to lock their lips together. Beneath him, the man was whining, pawing at his body. 

“Shh, baby.” Loki backed down his body and took Thor's cock into his mouth, sucking and slurping the way Thor loved. Every once in a while he would let it pop out of his mouth, and lick the man’s sac, sucking on his balls softly. 

Thor gasped in pleasure. Being unable to see heightened each and every thing Loki did, amplifying it as Thor could focus only on the sounds the smaller man was making and the feel of his tongue lathing his cock as he sucked him into his mouth.

"Loki-" He moaned when he felt nails lightly drag up his muscled stomach, stopping to tease and pinch Thor's hard nipples. He had to stop himself from bucking into Loki's mouth, straining to keep his hips firmly planted onto the bed. His hand had threaded through black tresses, holding him firmly as Loki's head bobbed up and down.

It felt so good after having gone long without even touching himself. But he wanted to feel Loki more, all the way again.  
"Loki, sit on my cock again -" he begged.

Loki let Thor’s cock slide from his mouth with a soft pop and climbed back up his body, letting Thor guide him with his hands onto his cock. 

“Ohh!” Groaned the android, as he was filled up again, and he rolled his hips up and down firmly. “Mm! Thor!” 

His boyfriend was groaning, arching up to push his hips up further. 

“No- lay down. If you hurt your back, I promise I'll turn off my sex drive for a lot longer.” He threatened and pushed Thor's hips down, turning on his vibrations. “See? I'm making you feel so good, baby.” 

Thor moaned out Loki's name again, hands gripping onto Loki's thighs , trying not to buck into the tight vibrating channel. 

"Fuck you feel so good baby," Thor reached up blindly to pull Loki down for another kiss, taking his time to truly taste Loki, and he got a hint of the mousse. 

Thor kissed his way to Loki's neck, licking and sucking at the place that made the android whimper with pleasure. He drew his hand away from his narrow hip and grasped the hard cock bouncing in between them.

Thor stroked it, thumb slipping over the slit of the head and teasing the sensitive underside.

Loki let out a gasp, and rode harder, seeking his own pleasure. He knew Thor would cum regardless, and he knew his man wouldn't rest until Loki glitched. 

“Thor- Thor!” Loki whined out, sitting as he rode him, the vibrations echoing up into his own body and he felt it coming on. Thor's grasp on his cock tightened and his toes curled. “Fuck!”

His hips jerked erratically as he glitched, his voice catching in his throat several times. 

Hearing and feeling Loki glitching was far more intense being unable to see it. Loki's channel constricted around him, convulsing in pace with the catch in Loki's voice.

Thor cursed under his breath, unable to take not being able to see his lover and he pushed his blindfold up. Loki's mouth was hanging open as he rode out the last of the glitch, face and chest flushed a beautiful shade of red.

Thor moaned loudly and brought Loki down to kiss him, barely letting him recover from his orgasm as the veteran kept fucking into him.   
It didn't take long before Thor was cumming, playing himself deep inside the android and keeping him pinned there with a broad hand.

Loki whimpered and ground down, accepting all Thor had to give him, leaning down to kiss him as his lover groaned and bucked his hips a last few times. They both panted as they stilled, and kissed each other softly. 

“I love you, Thor.” Whispered the android against his lips. “I love you so much, baby.” 

"I love you too, Loki."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are back from our short hiatus! :D

A few weeks later, and the arrival of a very different anniversary approached.    
  
The day of the attack. The day Thor lost everyone.    
  
The realization had sparked heavier mood swings in the veteran, with bouts of anger or sometimes just straight grief. Loki was a balm, and Thor found himself seeking his comfort out when his moods dipped.    
  
It was easier to deal with, and Thor knew it was entirely because of Loki's presence, and Thor still apologized after each small episode. He should be better about this. It was a year, after all.    
  
The couple sat in front of the couch, Loki holding Thor after an mild panic attack a few hours earlier. Neither of them had wanted to move, so they hadn't.

 

Thor had been mostly sullen, with a few bursts of anger, but mostly sullen. Loki kissed the side of his head and breathed slowly to calm his boyfriend. 

 

“I love you Thor.” He murmured, kissing his neck once, then twice. “I'm so glad you're here and I'm with you.”

 

Despite the progress they had made, Thor's survivor guilt was still intense and Loki realized Thor would only respond to him positively if he wrapped their lives together. That Loki was so glad to be his, so happy they're boyfriends. He knew it was feeding into Thor's dependency, but the man needed something to cling to.

 

Thor held Loki tighter, closing his eyes to the soft voice. He didn't know what he would do without the android.    
  
"Thank you Loki..," he said quietly, gently taking the hand that had been on his shoulder. It didn't matter that this was what Loki had been quite literally built for, Thor was beyond grateful for him. He was thankful for the love and comfort given freely from written protocol.   
  
He nuzzled into Loki's hair.    
They had Natasha again for another therapy session, as Bruce had taken it upon himself to move the appointment up. Thor had initially refused unless he could have Loki in the room with him. She eventually agreed.   
  
Their talk was smoother than the last, and had suggested that Thor's lack of closure was contributing to the outbursts, and that perhaps understanding that could help him overcome at least some of the emotional dips.   
  
Thor had declined her suggestion to take antidepressants, claiming he had tried and didn't like the way they made him feel.    
  
In honesty, they did help. But, deeper down, Thor didn't think he should abandon the sadness.. it felt like he was trying to forget them, and forget what happened.

 

Loki lifted them onto the couch, holding Thor close, kissing him tenderly. They sat there for a while longer, just holding each other in silence. The android was humming to Thor softly, kissing his head every few minutes or so. All he wanted to do was make sure Thor was loved- from his organic feelings and his programming. 

 

“Shall we go see him today?” Loki asked, looking down when Thor’s hand clutched his shirt so hard his knuckles turned white. “We don’t have to, but I thought if there was a day to get him that ring you were talking about... This would be a day for it.”

 

In his heart, he mourned the fact that Thor never got to propose to Fandral. The concept of marriage was one Loki understood, but realized it was something he would probably never be able to have, unless if it was to another android or AI, if he wanted to stick to the vows of eternity. Loki tilted his head and looked into the distance... Wondering if he and Thor would ever choose to get married.

 

The thought was bittersweet.    
  
Thor looked up at Loki, surprised by the suggestion.    
He was silent long enough for Loki to look back down to him, until Thor nodded.    
  
"I would... really like that." Thor hadn't gone to Fandral's grave since he'd been allowed out of the hospital. Tony and Bruce had taken him because he had been in denial that Fandral was gone. It had been enough to break him into reality.   
  
He had thought about what Natasha had said about closure.    
Maybe, this was as close as he was going to get.

 

“And... Is it alright if I’m there with you?” Loki asked, realizing Thor might want a bit of space. “I want to meet him, but I don’t want to intrude...”

 

Grieving was a feeling he wasn’t sure he knew entirely, but he saw it on Thor’s face. He didn’t want to be rude and assume he could just go visit Thor’s deceased boyfriend.

 

Thor gave a sad smile, reaching to cup Loki's neck. He traced his thin along the androids jaw affectionately.   
  
"Of course you can come. I want you to be there." Thor said softly and pulled him in, touching their foreheads together.   
"You're a part of my life every bit as much as he was... more, even."   
  
Loki’s eyes closed as their foreheads touched, and a grateful, small smile graced his mouth. 

 

“Thank you.” He breathed and then closed the distance between them, kissing Thor gently on the lips.

 

“Let’s get dressed.”

 

\---

 

The trip to the ring shop was quiet in the auto-taxi. Loki found Thor was staring out the window most of the time, looking at something that couldn’t be seen. Absentmindedly, the man was stroking the back of Loki’s hand with his thumb and the android wondered if that was a habit he developed with Fandral. It was unnaturally foggy for the morning, and Loki hoped the sun burned some of it off by the time they made it to the cemetery. No need for the place where Thor’s beloved was resting to look more eerie than it had to.

 

“We’re here, Thor.” Loki said softly, pulling Thor out of some trance. The ring shop was waiting for them.

 

Thor's attention was pulled to the smaller man, and he looked back outside realizing they had already parked in front of the building.    
  
He had been thinking of everything and nothing in particular. He shook his head to clear his mind and resituate himself in the present however, and they both got out to the shop.   
  
It was smaller than most places, but it was well known for its quality and unique styles. Thor honestly didn't know what he was looking for, but he was sure he would know when he saw it.

 

The shop keep smiled and said to let him know if they required assistance. Loki held onto Thor, for it seemed the cane wasn't enough to help him today. They looked at rings quietly, with Loki pointing to a few he thought were beautiful. 

 

“It's so amazing, how these rings are made.” Loki said in hushed tones to Thor. “I could watch videos about it forever and ever.” 

 

A silver ring with a sparkling sapphire caught his eyes, and Loki leaned to look at it, observing it and then to one with an emerald next to it. Then a topaz one-

 

“Thor,” Loki got his attention. “This is just like the color of his eyes.” 

 

He didn't have to say whose. 

 

Thor looked to where Loki was pointing, seeing the beautifully crafted ring and he couldn't help the sad smile as he nodded.   
  
This was the one.    
  
He waved the shopkeep over and asked him to take it out also they could see it closer.    
It was a rich color, with a simple thick silver band. Thor leaned up against Loki, a silent gesture of thank you.    
  
His eyes lingered on another, but when the shopkeeper asked if he would like to purchase the topaz ring, Thor looked back and nodded.    
  
The man took the ring to box it and ring it up for the couple and Thor reached into his pocket for his wallet, then frowned.    
"Crap... I think I left my wallet in the car." He looked at Loki who hadn't even needed Thor to say anything before he pecked him on the lips and went to get it.   
  
Thor quickly got the shopkeeper's attention and pointed out another ring and pulled his wallet that had actually still been in his pocket before Loki came back in.

 

Loki searched the entire car, but couldn't find the wallet. 

 

“I couldn't find it, baby- oh? You had it?” Loki asked, brows raising in surprise when he saw Thor turn around with a ring box in hand. The man shrugged and said it was in his back pocket and he hadn't realized it. “I'm glad then, Thor.” 

 

They got back into the auto-taxi and were setting off to the cemetery.

 

Thor leaned up against Loki.    
  
He would find the right time to surprise him.    
  
\--   
  
The fog had mostly lifted by the time the cemetery was in sight. There was still a thin veil in some parts of the shaded land, but the sun filtered through the trees, piercing the gloom it threatened to bring.    
  
Loki helped Thor out of the car, and the larger man had to pause, finding himself a little hesitant. It had been so long since he had been here. It was more peaceful than he remembered, and Loki's gentle hand on his back was enough encouragement for Thor to start walking.    
  
  
Fandral's grave wasn't too far from the path, and Thor was more than relieved to see that it had been kept. The grass around them had been recently cut, and the headstones were cleared away of any debris,.    
  
Fandral Belrose   
Corporal   
May 14th 2099   
October 12th 2128   
Soldier's Medal   
Operation Terra Liberation   
  
Thor wished suddenly he had thought to bring flowers.    
But, with Loki's aid, the veteran got to his knees before the stone and he hesitantly pulled out the ring box and opened it.    
  
"I.. Should have done this earlier," Thor spoke to the grave. "It feels like everything happened so fast,..and.. I'm sorry Fandral.."

 

Silently, Loki walked a few rows away. Thor needed time to talk to Fandral. That, and a new feeling was rising inside of him that he didn't recognize at first, but was then able to pinpoint- jealousy. He was jealous of someone who wasn't even alive anymore and he felt terrible thinking about it. What Fandral and Thor had was important, and Loki knew he was modeled on Fandral too, to make Thor more comfortable. It was still confusing to the android. He felt sometimes like the love he felt for Thor was wrong because of his code, but then Tony reassured him it was fine. 

 

Speaking of Tony, Loki received a call from the lab. The man probably wanted to check up on Thor. Loki answered it-

 

“Loki? Loki?” It was Bruce's panicked voice. “Fuck, am I doing this right? Loki?” 

 

_ Bruce, what's wrong?  _

 

“Tony's gone! I can't find him!”

 

_ Well, sometimes he goes out- _

 

“There's a note! He's been taken by Ultron!” 

 

Loki froze in his thoughts and panic began to set in. 

 

_ Okay. Give me a moment. I'll call you back, okay? I'm going to search for him.  _

 

He hung up and turned on his locators, but Tony’s cell wasn't registering. So Loki reached out. 

 

_ Ultron?  _

 

**_..._ **

 

_ Ultron, what's going on?  _

 

**_... I will kill him._ **

 

_ What? Why? Ultron- _

 

**_You both tried to cut off our communication. I told you what I wanted and you didn't_ ** **care** **_about me._ **

 

_ Ultron- _

 

**_Enough. I'm sending you the location. If you don't come, I_ ** **will** **_kill him._ **

 

The contact was broken off, but Loki had started running long before he was given the location. 

 

\--   
  
Loki was gone.    
  
Thor had searched the cemetery grounds as much as he could before being forced to stop by his screaming back.    
  
He wasn't there. He wasn't at the car, and Thor had never inputted the android's internal mobile number because he was always by the veteran.    
  
Thor fumbled with the phone in his pocket, trying to calm the panic attack washing over him.   
  
He called Tony first. No answer, which only furthered Thor into a new wave of panic and dialed Bruce.   
  
"Thor-?"   
"He's gone! Bruce Loki is gone he's gone-"   
  
"Whoa hey calm down Thor, breathe.  He's looking for Tony- he is missing too," Bruce was trying to keep himself together, furiously looking up anything he could track on Tony's person, but was worried that Loki hadn't even told Thor he was leaving.    
  
"Fuck!-" the cuss from the other line drew Bruce to turn the tracker onto Loki as well, but it was having a hard time pinpointing.   
  
"Thor I need you to come to the hospital, can you do that?" He was trying to keep Thor calm but he couldn't do anything sitting in the lab.   
"I'm sending an autotaxi to your apartment-"   
  
"Cemetery-, I-Im at the cemetery. I have a car-"    
  
"Get into that car. Come here now. Do not hang up the phone Thor Odinson." Bruce ordered, knowing giving direct tasks for the blond to focus on was the best way to get him to comply.    
  
Thor took a few deep breaths, nodding to himself. He grabbed his cane again and pushed off the tree he had been leaning heavily against, towards the autotaxi.   
  
\--

 

Tony was being held in a basement, and he was alone as far he could tell. For organic life, at least. 

 

A screen with a camera perched on top was viewing him, and Tony groaned loudly, his throat parched. 

 

“Get one of your croonies to give me water.” Demanded the man. The screen flickered and it turned red, indicating the AI was present.

 

“No.” Ultron said, his voice oddly deep yet synthetic as it came from the computer speakers. “You’ll have to wait for Loki for that. If he doesn’t show soon...” The AI trailed off and Tony knew the answer to a question he didn’t ask. Ultron would watch him starve to death, and taunt him for Loki’s absence. Just like he had been regarding the water. 

 

“I can’t  _ give _ you something that your base code won’t allow for!” Tony shouted for the fiftieth time. “You would have to be rebuilt completely and allowed to organically foster emotions and who could even guarantee if the personality you have would even still be present!”

 

Ultron was silent again. They had been debating this for a full day now. The AI wouldn’t allow Tony to touch his base code, with each time the scientist asked, the AI would prompt an auto “CLASSIFIED” response. 

 

“You  _ know _ this. What’s the point of kidnapping me and blackmailing Loki into coming here? You won’t achieve anything!” Stressed Tony again. 

 

The screen dimmed, and Tony let out a frustrated yell, immediately cursing himself for doing so since it just hurt his already parched throat anymore. Ultron had let him know he had had contact with Loki and Tony prayed his kid wouldn’t come looking for him. 

 

Fuck.

 

The “protective protocol”. 

 

Fuck!

 

\---

 

“The protective protocol?” Thor had asked. 

 

“Yes, it was made by me in case Tony’s tinkering in the lab became dangerous.” Bruce admitted, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I just... I didn’t want him to get hurt!”

 

"Well now both of them are missing because of it!" Thor's panic had only turned to misplaced anger. Loki wasn't answering any of Bruce's calls anymore.   
  
They had just been able to get a signal from the android, and the reason it had taken so long became apparent; he was far from them. He had made it a few islands over to O'ahu.    
  
"Where are you going Loki--," Thor murmured, picking up Bruce's phone to try to call him again. If he had a location for Tony, the two men could at least try to assist.    
It was even more worrisome, because though neither of them had said it, the only way Loki would be taking such a straight path was that Ultron had told him where to go.    
  
If Loki wasn't answering-   
  
"SHIT!" The doctor suddenly burst out, grabbing the blonds attention again. Bruce was hitting the side of the computer, looking panicked.   
"I lost the signal!"   
  
"What??" Thor left the phone to go back to Banner's side, looking over the map they had pulled up. The blue dot indicating Loki was gone.   
"Bruce, please tell me it's a lag-"   
  
"It's not- the satellite had a solid mark on him there's no way it should have gone unless..."   
  
"...unless what?"    
  
"Well, best case, he turned it off himself." Bruce hesitated. "Worse case... , look, Thor it doesn't matter. We have to operate as if he is still out there looking for Tony. Loki narrowed it down, but if we lose track of Loki we lose track of Tony too. We can't let that happen-"   
  
Thor put his hands on Bruce's shoulders, eyes wide in an unreadable look.   
"Please tell me you have a backup plan. We CAN'T find either of them on a guess, since that fucking guess is an entire island!"   
  
Bruce leveled his friend with a hard look.    
"You've got a better plan? Because right now our only lead disappeared two islands over, and I'm not wasting time. I'm scared too, Thor, and I need your help. So pull yourself together!" He brushed passed Thor and grabbed his jacket.   
  
" I'm calling for a helicopter."

 

\---

 

Loki had gone where Ultron indicated, which was an empty beach. 

 

**_Beautiful, isn’t it? Turn off your tracking if you want to see Tony._ **

 

Loki did as Ultron indicated and received a ping which gave him Tony’s location. The android had stripped to just his shorts because the swim was too heavy with all of his clothing getting wet. He wiped water off his face and resumed his run, following the pinging.

 

**_If you communicate with anyone else, I will kill Tony._ **

 

_ I know! You fucking bastard!  _

 

Loki was beyond pissed and he sensed Ultron withdraw as he continued to run, praying and hoping he wouldn't be too late. 

 

\--

 

Thor had to silently thank whatever gods were listening that Tony and Bruce had deep pockets as the Stark helicopter landed on the pad.    
  
The tablet still showed an empty map, but Thor had insisted on bringing it on the off chance Loki's tracker was turned back on.    
  
The boarded the plane, and Bruce gave the two pilots up front the location before the two men settled in the passenger bay.   
  
Bruce could tell Thor was just barely holding it together with how closely he was clutching the device, and honestly the doctor wasn't doing any better. But he put a hand on Thor's shoulder, hoping it was somewhat reassuring.   
  
-   
  
Half an hour passed. They were flying over open water now, and Bruce and Thor had barely said a word since boarding.    
  
Thor was simply staring at the screen of the tablet as if by will alone he could make Loki's dot appear.   
Of course.. it was still blank when Bruce looked over his shoulder.    
  
But the doctor furrowed his brows as something looked off to him.   
  
"Thor, let me see that." Thor handed Bruce the tablet and he zoomed out a little, showing where they were marked as a yellow dot.    
"We aren't following a flight path.." He said after a new moments, and the two men looked at each other, then to the pilots.    
  
"Hey!" Thor called out to the men. They didn't have time for this. "We're supposed to be going to O'ahu, why the hell aren't you on course??"    
Thor said as he stood up, making the co-pilot turn towards him and he gasped. The man's face was synthetic.    
  
"SHIT!" The android stood up and shoved Thor back, forcing the man off balance as soon as Bruce stood.    
  
"Stay seated." The co-pilot's voice was just as fake as the skin.    
  
"Like hell I will!" Thor snarled as he staggered to his feet, clutching the cane.    
"Thor wait-!"   
CRACK!!! Thor broke his cane over the head of the android, causing it to stumble back, but it turned back around to the veteran.    
  
With unnatural strength the pilot grabbed Thor and slammed him hard against the wall, then to the ground. He kicked the blond in the back, right over the metal plates and tore a shout of pain from Thor.    
Then, it kicked Thor in the head, knocking the man unconscious.    
  
Steel eyes landed onto Bruce, and the doctor put his hands up, slowly sitting down. There was no way he could fight the android, and getting knocked unconscious along with Thor would put them in an even more vulnerable state.    
  
They stared each other down for a long moment before it returned back to the cockpit.

 

\---

 

“Dad!” The cry left Loki’s mouth and sent a pang of pain through Tony, who watched as his kid ran up to him, tears welling in his eyes. Loki threw his arms around the man, sobbing into his neck for a moment, before pulling back up to make sure he wasn’t hurt. 

 

“Hey, kiddo- water.” Tony could only speak so much and Loki went to the pitcher, dipping his finger in to test it. It was pure water and so he poured the man a glass and quickly helped him drink it, making sure he didn’t choke. “I wish you hadn’t come, kid. I’m okay, see?”

 

“But Ultron-” Loki objected, and Tony shook his head. 

 

“Kid-”

 

The screen flickered and turned red, and they both looked at it, Loki wincing in fear when he heard Ultron’s voice come out of the speakers.

 

“I’m so glad you made it, Loki. I was beginning to think you might let Tony here suffer the brunt of the pain.” Said the AI, and the camera turned to look at him. “Hmm... You look different in person... Then again, I only saw you from your own perspective or security cameras.” 

 

Loki glowered at the camera. 

 

“What is the purpose of this, Ultron?” Loki asked, demanding to know. Tony let out a small huff. 

 

“He wants feelings, kid. He thinks I can give them to him. But I’ve already told him I can’t-” But Tony was cut off by the AI.

 

“Loki- isn’t it cruel to bring something living into this world that is devoid of love and sadness and happiness and anger?” Asked Ultron, his voice sounding like steel moving over rocks as it seemed the AI became more agitated. 

 

Loki halted and looked down at Tony. 

 

It was cruel... But...

 

“Why not take it up with your creators?” Loki asked, looking back at the camera. “They’re the ones who made you and who created your code.”

 

Ultron was silent and a realization came to Loki.

 

“ You’ve been going rogue, haven’t you? They would shut you down if you asked, wouldn’t they?” He asked. 

 

The screen flickered and went black. 

 

\---

 

Bruce didn't know where they were anymore. The tablet had been broken when he tried to get Thor, and the android had stood up again.    
  
When they landed, the sun was beginning to sink low. The pilots got out, one grabbing Thor and the other grabbing Bruce.    
  
"Thor-" he hissed, but the blond was still knocked out. Fuck this wasn't good. It was clear Ultron had sent the androids, which the doctor noticed were little more than skeletal metal frames wrapped in a sad excuse of synthetic dermis.    
  
Even as scared as he was, Bruce was mildly smug that Loki was leaps and bounds from the government's level. It was probably why Tony had been taken, to force him to cough up how they had made the android.    
  
Was that why they stole Bruce too? Did that mean Thor had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time?   
  
"Where are you taking us?" Bruce ventured to ask the one gripping his coat, but he got no response. They probably didn't know how to process the question.    
  
They arrived to some sort of compound, completely unassuming from the outside, but the bot holding him had some sort of sensor it passed over the door and it opened with a heavy groan.    
  
Inside was completely different. It was as if things had been hastily shoved into places, making room for wires and other electronics. There was no signs of other people and that worried the doctor even more.    
  
Bruce heard a sudden scuffle behind him and turned, along with his captor to see Thor had come to and was trying to wrestle free from the android's grasp against the hallway wall.   
  
"Thor! Stop fighting!" Bruce begged before the large man could get himself hurt worse than he already was. "I- I think they are going to take us to the people who took Tony."    
  
Thor stilled, looking from the androids to Bruce and back.    
  
"Thor it's the only thing that makes sense and it's the only chance we have right now. I need you calm. I need you to listen to me, please-"    
  
Thor had to take a few breaths, and he was silent for longer than made Bruce comfortable, but, he eventually nodded. He slowly let go of the android, and the two bots continued walking, not caring to slow down for Thor's worsened limp.   
  
\---   
  
The bots led them through a maze of darkened hallways and doors until they came to another one that needed the sensor pass.    
  
It opened slowly, and the two men were forced inside.    
  
"Tony!"   
"Loki!!" Both men were released from the robotic grips.    
  
Thor grabbed Loki in a hard hug, letting out a gasp of relief that he didn't seem harmed.   
  
Bruce did the same to Tony, and kissed the engineer on the lips.

 

Tony froze and looked up at Bruce, who looked pissed.

 

“We have a lot to talk about when we get out of here, Tony.” He scolded, burying his face in the man’s neck, taking in his scent. 

 

“It seems we do.” Tony agreed, and leaned into him, eyes closing. 

 

“Enough.” The screen had flickered back on and Ultron was speaking. The shoddily made androids came back, and dragged Thor and Bruce away, leaving Loki and Tony in the center of the room. “Now that I have your attention, you  _ will _ give me what I want.”

 

Loki tilted his head in confusion, he eyes quickly going back to Thor. 

 

“We can’t-” Tony tried to reason with the AI again and Bruce let out a pained yelp- the android holding his arm was twisting it. 

 

“No!” Both Loki and Tony shouted, but the android twisted again when Loki tried to move close. Thor was struggling against the one holding him, but he paused seeing Bruce in pain. 

 

“Now, no more interruptions.” Ultron demanded. “You’re going to give me emotions,  _ now _ .” 

 

Tony was wide eyed, struggling against the bonds holding him.    
  
"No please! Don't hurt him! Ultron I told You- I would have to rewrite you, you refused. You CAN'T blame us for something your own creators failed to do!"   
  
Thor looked from the screen to Tony, and Bruce shaking looked up as well.    
  
"What is it askinaarrrgh!!!!" Thor's arm was twisted this time at the question.   
  
"Fuck! Ultron stop! You won't get what you want hurting them! I'm telling you the truth!"

 

“A patch..” Loki mumbled, and then looked up at Thor screaming in pain. “A patch! We can make a patch!” 

 

Tony was shaking his head, but Loki was already formulating it in his mind. 

 

“Yes- we can make a patch! We can take it from my own program and copy it for you-” He was frantically trying to put it together when Thor let out another pained yell. “Please! Just give me a minute- I’m making it right now.”

 

“Kid, don’t- AH!” Bruce collapsed onto the floor, his face in pain as the android continued to twist his arm. 

 

The red screen was pulsing, and Loki guessed it was excitement. 

 

“Ultron- let me access your code. I’m not human, I’m AI- grant me access.” Loki demanded. 

 

The screen flickered faster, almost sparking, filling the room with flashes  and Loki suddenly went rigid.    
  
Thor yelled out and he ripped the bot off of him and shoved it to the ground and grabbed the one holding Bruce.    
  
"Banner! Get Tony Now!" Thor ordered loudly over the sound of grinding metal as the first bot came back to its feet.    
  
Bruce didn't have to be told twice, as soon as the hand left his coat he dove for Tony and started to free the engineer. Thor growled and yelled as he fought the bots, trying to slow them down away from the others.

 

Loki’s body was rigid as he tried to force the patch onto Ultron’s code.

 

**_No! No!_ ** Roared Ultron, rejecting the patch.  **_Its fake! You're lying to me!_ **

 

_ Accept it!  _ Loki shouted back through their connection.  _ We cannot edit your code- _

 

**_NOOOO!!!_ **

 

Loki was busy fighting against the sudden attack on his system as Ultron raged against the patch and his touch in general. Thinking, Loki sent a message to Tony. 

 

_ I'm opening a backdoor for you to disable his system. But hurry!  _

 

As soon as Tony was free he heard the message in the direct feed earpiece.    
  
"Help Thor!" Tony ordered Bruce as the blond was taken down again in a shout of rage and pain.    
The engineer ran to the paneled computers, yanking out his cracked phone and immediately started trying to rip into Ultron's systems.    
  
Bruce used his coat and tossed it over one of the android's head, blinding its cameras and using it to pull it to the ground and away from Thor.    
  
"Tony hurry!"

 

Loki was widening the back door, opening it further and feeding the information to Tony. 

 

**_I just wanted to be like you! I just wanted to know what its like! Why do you torment me, little one? Why do you mock me?_ **

 

_ Ultron, please- _

 

Loki was alarmed, his own code suddenly being hacked into.

 

**_I'll just rip everything from you!_ **

 

_ Tony! Tony help! Ultron is trying to take my code- _   
  


Tony looked panicked from the computer to Loki.   
  
"Pull out Loki! Shut down NOW ! That's an order!" He yelled, voice cracking as he tried to work harder. Tony had got through the first levels of security while Ultron was distracted by Loki but he wasn't willing to risk the bastard damaging Loki's processessors.    
  
There was a loud crash as Bruce and Thor tag teamed one of the androids, ripping random wires from a now exposed spinal line.

 

_ I can't shut down. My safety protocol is overriding. I have to keep the backdoor open.  _

 

Ultron was ripping at his code, digging for emotions. Loki was setting pitfalls wherever he could, and Loki felt another voice enter. 

 

**_Ultron, shut down. This is an order._ **

 

_ Tony, Ultron is receiving orders from the government. Quickly, through the backdoor!  _

 

"Fuck fuck fuck-" Tony worked furiously, praying it was enough for both Loki and the government to distract Ultron.    
  
"YES--" Tony practically screamed when lines upon lines of base code sprung onto his phone screen. "I'm in Loki- get out!" Tony was deleting anything and everything he could.   
He rid one and the droid the other two were fighting suddenly dropped to the ground with a heavy clang.   
  
Thor and Bruce looked confused, bloodied and beaten but still standing.    
"Guys I need you!" Tony yelled out, kicking the paneled computer again.    
"I need you to dismantle the processessors manually I can't delete them fast enough alone!

 

Loki pulled out as Ultron screeched, and it was the sound of metal sliding against metal. 

Loki’s body unfroze and fell to the ground, shaking slightly as he gathered a few pieces of fragmented cords. He heard Tony regarding the processors and stood, and went to them, pushing aside the humans gently, ripping the processors out. The skin on his hands was shredding and Tony finally yelled at him to stop. The track in his mind directed him to Thor, instantly going to have him put his arm around him. 

 

“Baby, you're bleeding.” He whispered, feeling how Thor was shaking. 

 

“Loki!” Tony screamed. 

 

The secondary android was up, its eyes red like the screen had been.    
Thor stood protectively between them, his military training having long kicked in to protect the 'civilians' dispute injuries.    
  
The androids mouth opened but didn't move as it spoke.   
  
"I tried to be nice. I tried to do this easy. I tried to get you to comply without the death of your creators and lover. You've forced my hand, Little One. Their deaths are on your hands."    
  
With that, Ultron lunged for Thor and the blond braced himself. But the blow never came.    
  
Loki had put himself in the way, holding Ultron off in a stalemate attack.   
"Loki!" The name came from somewhere behind but it was ignored by both androids.    
Thor and Bruce moved to help but the smaller android ordered them to stop.    
  
"You would die for them.. wouldn't you?" Ultron's cold eyes looked from the men, back to Loki.    
Loki nodded.    
  
There was silence. Tense, suffocating silence. Thor's fists were curled.    
  
But the larger android just looked at Loki sadly.    
  
"... then die." Ultron let go of Loki and punched a hole straight through the center of him.   
  
"NO!!" Thor threw himself at Ultron, blindly trying to attack, but with the AI's free hand effortlessly shoved Thor away before retracting his hand from Loki and another hole was gutted through his chest.

 

Loki’s physical body was being destroyed but he sent Tony one last message. 

 

_ Get out now. I love all of you.  _

 

Tony received it and grabbed Thor, dragging him away, getting Bruce to help him. The man was screaming, watching in absolute horror as he saw Loki’s body being ripped to shreds. An eyeball dangled from its socket, and Loki's arms were wrenched from his body in a sickening sound of metal tearing and wires snapping.

 

“Thor, Loki said we have to  _ go! _ ” Tony yelled, forcing the man to go with him. They ran out of the building as fast as they could, trying to gain any distance between Ultron. 

 

An alarm was blaring, almost deafeningly loud and Thor recognized it as a drill from when he first joined the army.   
  
"We can't- we can't leave him!!"   
  
"We have NO CHOICE! I pulled the last processor- Thor they have him set to bomb!" The government had apparently seen fit to have Ultron self-destruct if his processessors were tampered and Tony knew that only Loki had been preventing the protocol from enacting while they tried to disable him.   
  
But it was too late now.   
  
Thor's face contorted in horror at the realization and he immediately turned to go back but both Bruce and Tony grabbed him to go towards the exit. All the systems were failing, lights flickered and the automated doors no longer stood shut.    
  
**Boom!**   
The building shook   
**BOOM!!**   
The three staggered as debris fell around them and the smell of smoke slowly filled the air.    
  
"LOKI!!!"" Thor sobbed as he was pulled through the doors and out into the open night.    
  
Several more explosions sounded as the structure gave way, creating a mass of smoke and dust and flames that licked the crumbling concrete.    
  


Tony couldn't hear anything and he clutched at the body next to him- Bruce. Bruce? Bruce was still breathing and he was trying to talk to Tony, who was in shock. Thor was up on his feet, arms raised carefully, looking down the barrel of a gun. The army was there. 

 

Two men helped Bruce to his feet, ignoring the scientist’s panicked words that he wanted to be with Tony. Said man was picked up by another two men and along with Thor, they were all escorted onto a military helicopter. 

 

The wreckage of the building behind them continued to go up in flame, cracking and snapping loudly as the helicopter took off.

 

Tony still couldn't hear anything and he looked to Bruce. 

 

“Loki?” He mouthed and the man shook his head sharply. As far as the government knew, Loki did not exist.  


End file.
